Category: Dan’s Stuff

While I was watching TV last night I started to think that if I was in a band I would call it “Dumb Fish.”

Call for Condom Testers Swamped by Offers
LONDON (Reuters) – An appeal for British students to volunteer to rigorously road test condoms and be paid 100 pounds ($240 Canadian) a term into the bargain has been overwhelmed by applicants, manufacturer Condomi said Friday.
Within a week of the appeal for sexually-active men and women to come forward, the firm had received 10,000 applications and is combing the list selecting 100 who will get lucky.
The winners will be required to perform what the firm called “rigorous pleasure tests” on its entire range and fill in a detailed questionnaire on their reactions.
“The response has been phenomenal,” marketing manager Victoria Wells said. “It is quite surprising how much detail some people go into when answering intimate questions.”

Bottle Battle Brewing in Beer Industry
TORONTO (Reuters) – Trouble is brewing between Ontario’s dominant beer retailer and a small-city brewer over the use of 1970s-style “stubby” bottles, following the launch of a nostalgia marketing campaign for its Red Cap beer.
Brick Brewing Co. launched its Red Cap beer earlier this year in the short-neck, retro-style stubbies, the most common bottle style in Canada a generation or more ago.
But the retro-marketing plan ran up against Brewers Retail Inc., the near-monopoly beer retailer in Ontario, which said that as of as of Nov. 1, it will stop returning Brick’s reusable long-neck bottles until the brewer agrees to stop using the non-standard stubbies.
Brick is now seeking an injunction against Brewers Retail, demanding it continue to return the reusable long-necks, which it still needs for its other products.
Brewers Retail officials say Brick, along with several other breweries, entered into an agreement in the early 1990s that prevents them from being supplied with standard bottles if they also market beers in non-standard containers.
Short-neck stubbies hold a special place in the Canadian consciousness, bringing back memories of a time when the domestic dollar matched the worth of the U.S. greenback and the country’s world dominance in hockey, its beloved game, went unchallenged.
Brewers Retail — jointly owned by Molson Inc., Sleeman Breweries Ltd. and Labatt Brewing Co., a division of Belgium-based Interbrew — lords over the Ontario market and also returns customer empties to brewers for reuse.
But Brick, based in Waterloo, Ontario, said it has never signed an agreement that would prohibit it from using both long-neck bottles and stubbies.
“I just don’t understand why they’d want to open this up,” said Jim Brickman, chief executive of Brick. “The only thing that we can think of that triggered this had to be the success of the stubby and the Red Cap launch that we did.”
Brick said Red Cap has captured nearly 1 percent of the Ontario bottled beer market since it’s April introduction, a major success in a largely flat market dominated by big players Molson and Labatt.
Brickman calls the decision an attempt to disrupt Brick’s business.
The short, squat bottles filled beer shelves until the early-1980s, when they were replaced by U.S.-style long-neck bottles, which are now the industry standard.
“What we’re learning now is (the stubby) crosses a whole range of generations, to our surprise,” added Brickman.
With two-thirds of Brick’s beer still marketed in standard bottles, Brick says it will have to look for bottles from alternative sources.

Thirteen Eleventh Hour Halloween Getups
It happens every year. You get these wildly ambitious ideas about making a costume, forget to buy anything, wait until the last minute, then wind up scrambling. We know the syndrome. And we can help.
1. In this age of self-help, itís OK to go public with your Freudian SliP. Wear a dress slip and a dr. freud name tag, and carry a big unlit cigar. Then corner people on the couch. Materials: slip, cigar, hello my name is Ö sticker.
2. Ever wonder what Ronald McDonald does during off-hours? How does he live when heís not filming ads or scaring small children? Does he hit the links, brandy in hand, wearing a pink Polo shirt and plaid trousers? Maybe he sports a pack of Luckies, pulls on a trench coat, and trolls the seedier side of town. Live your Mac Daddy fantasy. Materials: red wig, face paint, McDonaldís logo cut from a french fries box and pinned to your lapel or hung on a beefy gold chain.
3. Hellís Bells DJ: Grab a pair of headphones and some death metal records from a local thrift store. [Your local thrift store has death metal? Address?! ñEd.] Dress badly: Dig out that old AC/DC tour shirt and make two little construction paper cones to pin in your hair as horns. Materials: construction paper, tour shirt, death metal records, headphones painted red.
4. Surrealist PainteR: Wear painterís pants or overalls, and a painterís cap turned backward. Carry a brush glued full of artificial flowers or other plastic doodads. If you do impressions, be an IMPRESSIONIST PainteR. Groan. Materials: overalls, cap, paint can, paintbrush, glue, plastic doodads.
5. Beat Poet: Man, those poetry slams are rough. Give Ginsberg, Kerouac, and the rest of the boys a run for their money by donning a beret, painting your eye black and blue, and wrapping yourself in bandages. Plan ahead and grow a goatee. Materials: black turtleneck, beret, bandages, black eyeliner, book of poetry (Howl suits Halloween nicely).
6. Famous worldwide, the American Tourist is easy to imitate. White socks and sandals are de rigueur. Add Bermuda shorts and a short-sleeve button-down shirt (preferably Hawaiian) and salaam, youíre Al Qaedaís moving target. Materials: Hawaiian shirt, map, camera, wraparound sunglasses, suitcase with buy american! stickers.
7. Cereal KilleR: Work out childhood repression the inexpensive way. Stab a Trix box with a dull knife (or a sharp oneógive that crazy rabbit what he deserves). Tape the knife in position and spatter the wound with fake blood. Strap the box to your chest or wear it on your head. Materials: dull knife, tissue paper, fake blood, cereal box.
8. Drowned Rat: Make cardboard concrete boots to clomp around in. Paint your face a morbid pale blue. Tangle yourself in fishing line and stick a plastic fish in your pocket. Materials: cardboard, face paint, fishing line, plastic fish.
9. If youíre planning to do serious damage this Halloween, consider being bubble-wraP MAN. Shroud yourself in packing material and hotties will be popping you all night. Getting fall-down drunk is just part of the look. Materials: bubble wrap, packing tape.
10. Anyone can dress as an angel, but how fun are they? Work, work, work. Piety, piety, piety. Itís Fallen Angels that have all the fun. Make yourself a tarnished halo from a wire hanger. Wear a toga with burn marks and slits in the back where your wings were clipped. Materials: sheet, matches (for burn marks), scissors, wire hanger.
11. Grab an old Polaroid and youíre Paparazzi GuY. The beautiful people are stepping out tonight. Carry a fake press pass and as many cameras as you can carry. Shoot anything that moves. Materials: cameras, press pass (use an old ID picture), flashlight (for spotting celebs).
12. Youíre the hero of the watercooler, Stapler MaN! Staple a tie and cape to your suit. Fashion a hanger into a giant staple, then wear it as a belt. Better yet, shape a bunch of hangers into staples, glue them together, and wear them as a bulletproof vest. The impression is stronger when Bubble-Wrap Man and Stapler Man work together to save the day job. Materials: wire hangers, cape or bedsheet dyed red or black, tie, oxford shirt, blazer, staple gun.
13. Halloween costumes are best when scary, but vampires and werewolves donít have the punch they once did. For a more modern fright, be as nondescript as possible. Remember, Psycho Killers look like everyone else. Materials: sick sense of humor.I say, ëIím David, and Iím an American.íî

I Have No Will Power!

So I started watching the new E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial DVD on Wednesday night, and I wanted to see how long I could go without craving Reeses Pieces.
For the record I lasted 22 minutes before I went to the store to buy some.
Luckily I wasn’t watching Charlie And The Chocolate Factory or Cannibal! The Musical.

Group: ‘Pink’ promotions unequal in giving
By Rita Rubin, USA TODAY
With more companies than ever marketing products from lipsticks to vacuum cleaners to raise money for breast cancer, an advocacy group is urging consumers to “think before you (buy) pink.”
Barbara Brenner, executive director of San Francisco-based Breast Cancer Action, says consumers should consider how much money companies are actually contributing to the cause and where it is going.
The percentage of sales that go toward breast cancer charities varies widely. Though some companies donate all profits from certain products, Eureka is donating $1 each from the sale of $149 to $229 vacuum cleaners purchased from May 1 to Dec. 31.
“Is the company spending more on its ‘Clean for the Cure’ ads than it’s donating to the cause?” Brenner’s group asks in an ad to run Wednesday in TheNew York Times. The group also has a Web site, www.thinkbeforeyoupink.org.
Eureka is one of more than 50 companies that have entered into a partnership with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Last year, $30 million of Komen’s $130 million in revenue came from such partnerships, foundation CEO Susan Braun says.
Proponents of “cause marketing” for breast cancer say they regard it as a win-win situation: Company sales rise, and non-profits reap millions.
“The charity benefits,” Braun says. “The company benefits.”
Avon acknowledges as much in its 2001 annual report. Last year was the first for the company’s “Kiss Goodbye to Breast Cancer campaign,” featuring six lip colors. A dollar of each $4 lipstick goes to the Avon Foundation, which pays for breast cancer groups and research. In its annual report, Avon notes that higher sales were “driven by a 6% growth in units due to the success of the Kiss Goodbye to Breast Cancer lipstick campaign.”
“I don’t think that it’s a bad thing for anybody to be raising money for a cause and anybody to be raising awareness of a disease that’s killing so many people every year,” says Kathleen Walas, president of the Avon Foundation.
Brenner says she hopes consumers realize they must do more than shop to halt breast cancer. “These cause-marketing campaigns are giving people the impression they can do something simple that will solve the problem.”
Each of Eureka’s “Clean for the Cure” vacuums comes with educational materials about breast health, says Kathy Luedke, public relations director for the Bloomington, Ill., company.
“We certainly could have just made a donation and not tell anybody about it. We wanted to stand up and help promote the Komen Foundation.”

What Is Botox?
I have been hearing a lot about something called Botox lately, usually as a punchline or as an excuse for a woman not wanting to go out with me.
“So what is it,” I pondered:
About BotoxÆ
BotoxÆ is the brand name of botulinum toxin type A that has been in use since about 1990. In 2001, botulinum toxin type B was introduced under the brand name MyoblocÆ. (Dr. Gulevich has experience with both). Both forms of this naturally occuring substance, BotoxÆ and MyoblocÆ, are injected into muscle that is contracting abnormally. The medications partially weaken the nerve to the muscle for about four to six months. BotoxÆ has thus proven very useful in people who suffer from abnormal contractions of muscle.
BotoxÆ injections are often guided by an electromyogram (EMG). The hollow-needle EMG locates the area of worst contraction within the muscle, allowing the BotoxÆ to be injected at the site that will produce the best result.

Show Of A Lifetime!

For years I waited. Patiently waited! Then on Sunday evening, in a city that is also the name of an incredible Coen Brothers movie, I saw Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band live in Concert.
One word: Awesome! I can’t wait until next time!!
Here’s the set list: 9/29/02
Fargo, North Dakota
Fargodome
The Rising
Lonesome Day
Ties That Bind
The Fuse
Prove It all Night
Night
Empty Sky
You’re Missing
Waitin’ on a Sunny Day
Promised Land
World’s Apart
Badlands
She’s The One
Mary’s Place
Workin’ On The Highway
Countin’ on a Miracle
Into the Fire
ENCORE
Dancing In the Dark
Ramrod
Born to Run
SECOND ENCORE
My City of Ruins
Born in the USA
Land of Hope and Dreams

Terry Fox Run Is This Sunday

The 2002 Terry Fox Run Is This Sunday And 89 Cents From Every Dollar Will Go Toward Cancer Research
The 22nd Annual Terry Fox Run will take place this Sunday, September 15th.
Before Terry died, he knew that an annual event would be held to commemorate his Marathon of Hope. The first Terry Fox Run in 1981 attracted 300,000 participants across Canada and raised $3.5 million. To date, close to $300 million has been raised for cancer research in Terry’s name.
An Unprecedented 89 Cents From Every Dollar Will Go Towards Cancer Research
Any expenses incurred when organizing a Run must be donated. No money raised by the Run itself may be used to cover these expenses. The Terry Fox Foundation makes every effort to ensure that the funds donated in Terryís name make it to their intended destination-Terry Fox cancer research grants.
The Run is a non-competitive event where people can walk, jog, run, bike, roll or stroll; getting together as individuals, families and groups to raise money while celebrating Terry Foxís legacy and helping to keep his dream of a cure for cancer alive.
As Terry said in 1980: ìI want to set an example that will never be forgotten.î
The 2002 Terry Fox Run will take place this Sunday, September 15, 2002. For more information phone 1-888-TFOXRUN or visit the Terry Fox Run website.

Please Support The 2002 Terry Fox Run!

On the 15th day of Terry Fox’s Marathon Of Hope he got up at 4 am to fog, drizzle and cold. His 40 kilometers the day before had produced painful sores and after 5 kilometers he became dizzy and light- headed with clouded vision. In his journal for the day, Terry wrote: ìI told myself it is too late to give up. I would keep going no matter what happened. If I died, I would die happy because I was doing what I wanted to do. I went out and did 15 pushups on the road and took off. I want to set an example that will never be forgotten.”
Terry has done his part, now it is up to us.
You should also know that an unprecedented eighty- nine cents of every dollar raised will go toward supporting cancer research. Eighty- nine cents from every dollar! Most charities donate an average of 47 cents from every dollar to their cause!
They use your money in order to make sure they have bright, shiny, clean, new offices. The Terry Fox Foundation uses your money to help fight cancer and fund research.
Monies raised by the annual Terry Fox Run goes directly to cancer research.
The 22nd Annual Terry Fox Run takes place on September 15th, 2002. If you would like to sponsor my Run you can click on this sentence.
A tax receipt will be emailed out for all donations over $10.
Together, we can make Terry Fox’s dream of a world free of cancer come true!
Please support the 2002 Terry Fox Run.
Thanks,
Dan Reynish