“I want these people to like me to a degree I find embarrassing.”

Here are the best jokes of the 2019 Oscars

Without a host, the Oscars ceremony this year was a little short on jokes. Instead of an opening monologue, we had Adam Lambert singing with Queen, and though we did get Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Maya Rudolph giving a slightly lengthened presentation for Best Supporting Actress, most of the laughs in the ceremony were more of the “polite chuckles during awkward celebrity banter” variety.

That said, here are the best zingers from show:

“Just a quick update, in case you’re confused: There is no host tonight, there won’t be a popular movie category, and Mexico is not paying for the wall.” (Maya Rudolph)

“We will be presenting commercials during the awards… Say, ‘Hellman’s Mayonnaise, we are on the side of food,’ instead of your speeches.” (Amy Poehler)

“Buster Scruggs, I hardly know her!” (Tina Fey)

[Sarcastically:] “Roma’s on Netflix, what’s next my microwave makes a movie?!” (Tina Fey)

“Don’t worry, Bradley — after four kids, I too have peed myself at the Grammys.” (Maya Rudolph)

“Justice Ginsburg, if you ever want to borrow the dragons, ring me.” (Game of Thrones actress Emilia Clarke)

“Even backstage, Mel Gibson came up to me and said, ‘Wakanda forever.’ He said another word after that, but ‘Wakanda’ was nice.” (Trevor Noah)

“I want these people to like me to a degree I find embarrassing.” (John Mulaney)

“I can’t believe a film about menstruation just won an Oscar!” (Best Documentary Short winner Rayka Zehtabchi)

“The same kind of magic that allows audiences to believe that I am an actor.” (Paul Rudd, presenting the award for Best Visual Effects)

“We were both raised in Brooklyn… and we both love hats!” (Barbra Streisand, on her similarities with BlacKkKlansman director Spike Lee)

“This is hilarious.” (Olivia Colman, winning Best Actress)