Sarah Jessica Parker Named Unsexiest Woman
The folks over at Maxim magazine think it’s too easy picking Charlize Theron as the Sexiest Woman Alive. They’d rather weigh in on who’s unsexy.
The unfortunate recipient of the lad mag’s Unsexiest title is “Sex & the City” star Sarah Jessica Parker, whose character Carrie Bradshaw is not only in high demand with the opposite sex, but is also a fashion diva among the fair sex.
Maxim, however, points out her more, um, equine features: “How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with ‘sex’ in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we¥d rather ride Chris Noth.”
In the runner-up position is the Beehived One herself, “Rehab” singer Amy Winehouse, whose “openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat’s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats.”.
On the small screen, “Grey’s Anatomy” star Sandra Oh took third place for playing “Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure.”
Rounding out the Unsexy 5 is Madonna in the penultimate position “with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull.” The heir to her pop princess throne, Britney Spears, took last place because, “Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she¥s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.”