Blah, blah, blah…snore!!

Normalcy continues at MTV video awards
NEW YORK – Where are Eminem and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog when you need them?
Despite Shakira’s ever-gyrating hips, Justin Timberlake’s “SexyBack” and the obscured image of a naked midget, the first hour of the annual MTV Video Music Awards had about as much spontaneity as an episode of “Cribs.”
“This show has been lame farts for the past 20 years and I’m going to light the match!” host Jack Black vowed before he took the stage Thursday night for his opening sketch.
Instead, Black continued a trend.
After a perfunctory performance by Timberlake to kick off the show, Black had a promising bit that poked fun at the show’s increasingly staid reputation. Painting himself as the man to inject life back into the VMAs, he took to the stage in a moonman outfit ó which caught fire. But Black’s shtick quickly got old. Even Lil’ Kim ó who once appeared at the VMAs wearing a pasty on one breast ó failed to get the party started. Recently released from prison after serving time for perjury, she stripped off an orange jail suit to reveal … something that resembled a funky business suit. Hillary Clinton has worn more revealing outfits.
Though the MTV Awards have never lacked star power ó last year, Diddy acted as host and stars ranging from Eva Longoria to Jessica Simpson and then-hubby Nick Lachey squeezed themselves into the spotlight ó that water-cooler MTV moment that once was its trademark hasn’t materialized recently, like Eminem punching out a puppet.
This year, the disturbing trend of normalcy continued. Shakira and Wyclef Jean performance a colorful but rote performance of her smash “Hips Don’t Lie”; there were no profanity-filled acceptance speeches from impaired winners.
The night’s hottest new couple, new buddies 50 Cent and LL Cool J, introduced one of the awards. But 50, perhaps with no more foes to beef with, was almost Zen-like onstage, offering no fun disses to get the crowd excited.
The lack of outrageousness almost made you long back to the days when Michael Jackson was making out with Lisa Marie Presley ó that was creepy, but at least it kept us talking.
Oh yeah ó the awards.
In the early going, Best Male Video went to James Blunt for “You’re Beautiful” and Best Hip-Hop Video went to the Black Eyed Peas for “My Humps.” Kelly Clarkson was not on hand to accept Best Female Video for “Because of You,” but all six Pussycat Dolls accepted the Best Dance Video award for “Buttons.” And Pink took Best Pop Video with “Stupid Girl.”