If you are single, love your TV!

Sexy shows mark Valentine’s Day
Has talking about sex replaced actually having sex? That grim thought might occur to anyone watching TV over the next week or so. There are dozens of TV shows featuring people blabbing on about their sex lives, all in the name of Valentine’s Day.
Cupid seems to have been replaced with Kinsey. Over the last month, my desk has been flooded with steamy promotional tapes, some wrapped in red ribbons and covered in chocolate-covered hearts.
After years of Blind Date, Elimidate, The Bachelor, Temptation Island and other randy relationship fare, programmers must feel they have to ramp up the shock factor to seduce viewers. It is enough to send you screaming back to The Lawrence Welk Show.
Still, sex sells, so fill ‘er up. Here is a list of lust-themed programming just in time for Valentine’s Day. Push yourselves away from all that Internet porn and check these out:
* Last Chance For Romance (beginning Friday, 8 p.m., Global). Hosted by news babe Cheryl Hickey, this 13-part series will look at couples in crisis. Can they pull their relationship out of the ditch while cameras roll? At least these Bickersons get free trips to a five-star Caribbean resort as thanks for airing their dirty laundry in public. Therapist Joe Rich referees.
* Older Women/Younger Men (Feb. 14, 7 p.m., W). Resident Sun Cougar Valerie Gibson explains why young bar dudes are suddenly ga-ga over grannies. (Gibson also appears Feb. 14 on Dr. Phil, 5 p.m. on CTV).
* Sex, Truth And Videotape (Feb. 14, 10 p.m., CBC Newsworld). This six-part series from former Fifth Estate host Francine Pelletier is a cut above the usual boff blather. It starts with a bang (so to speak) as several famous Canadians (including Mary Walsh, Sandra Shamas, Susan Swan and dancer Margie Gillis) blab about everything from first times to orgasms. Their wit and candor will disarm, entertain and empower. Future episodes, featuring Canadian women from all ages and preferences, bring more human stories, some funny, others painful. All are real and riveting.
* Sex, Toys & Chocolate Valentine’s Special (Feb. 14, 10 p.m., Life Network). Learn new and exciting positions, like how to lunge for the remote in case any kids come into the room while this skanky show is on. Hosts Robin Milhausen and Michael Cho trick kiss-and-tell twentysomethings into spilling the beans on their most erotic encounters. There’s a ‘How could they?’ giddiness to this voyeuristic chatfest, but you’ll want to shower after every viewing.
* American Experience: Kinsey (Feb. 14, 9 p.m., PBS). If you saw Liam Neeson in the recent biopic, meet the real Alfred Kinsey, an erudite, tweedy academic who became the granddaddy of all sexperts. Back in the 1940s, Kinsey was the first to pry into the bedrooms of average citizens for sex data. The result was explosive, best-selling reports. The fact that the dawg was basically doing it with everything but small farm animals only adds to the mystique (and TV appeal).
* The Bachelorette (Feb. 14, 9 p.m., City-TV). Jen and the three remaining dudes go on overnight dates. Hope somebody brought protection!
* Legendary Sin Cities – Shanghai: Paradise For Adventurers (Feb. 15, 8 p.m., CBC) concludes this three-part look at the steamy capitals of the world. Hey, where’s Brampton?
* Get It On! A Brief History Of Sex & Music (Feb. 16, 10 p.m., CITY-TV). A SexTV special tracing horny music from the pimply ’50s to today’s graphic rap filth. Followed by two more SexTV specials: Utopia: Love & Sex in a Perfect World (Feb. 23, 10 p.m. on CITY-TV) and Gay Hollywood: The Last Taboo (March 2, 10 p.m., CITY-TV).
* The Language Of Love (Feb. 17, 8 p.m., CBC). Canadian jazz artist Carol Weisman journeys to Rio and Umbria in search of musical amore. Guests include Herbie Hancock, Brazilian Djavan and Italian composer Romano Musumarra.
* As well, Star! is having a Hollywood Sweethearts Weekend, with specials featuring Ashton Kutcher, George Clooney, Halle Berry and Cameron Diaz, among others (Saturday and Sunday). The Movie Network has cued up some romantic films for the 14th, including Lost In Translation (11:25 a.m.), The Goodbye Girl (1:10 p.m.), Something’s Gotta Give (8 p.m.) and 50 First Dates (10:15, all on MMORE). MESCAPE has oldies but goodies Casablanca (4 p.m.) plus Dirty Dancing (8 p.m.).
* For kids, Teletoon has a Valentine’s Day exclusive interview with Johnny Bravo, a.k.a. God’s Gift To Women (6 p.m.). At least he’s not blabbing to some sex therapist.