“Hey, this is a day late!! It had better not be a dollar short as well!!”

The Couch Potato Report – July 27th, 2004
This week in The Couch Potato Report a good movie based on a comic book and a really bad film based on a film.
The list of movies made from comic books is long.
The list of good movies made from comic books is much shorter.
I am happy to report that the “good” list is now one longer due to the inclusion of the film HELLBOY.
In the comic book, and movie, HELLBOY is the son of Satan. He is summoned to earth by a fictional version of the Russian Mystic Grigori Rasputin. Rasputin is working for the Nazis during the second World War.
When he is first introduced HELLBOY isn’t a menacing devil, but rather a toddler-like creature with red skin, horns, a tail, and a large stone right hand.
Raised by the U.S. Military, Hellboy becomes the primary agent for the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defence, alongside several other superhuman agents, in the fight to save humanity.
HELLBOY is an exciting action-packed movie. The story and action are fast-paced and completely engaging. There are colourful characters, witty humor, thrilling action sequences and eye-popping special effects and Ron Perlman from TV’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST is well cast in the lead role.
All that said, if you don’t like movies based on comic books, you’re not going to like this movie. In the end, it’s a good film for those who likes films like this, but it doesn’t rise above its pedigree the way that the X-MEN and SPIDER-MAN films have.
Still, those of us who are fans of movies based on comic books can easily add HELLBOY to the list of good movies made from comic books.
There’s another new release this week that is primarily for fans only. That release is the 4-disc box set for SLEDGE HAMMER!
SLDEGE HAMMER was a television show that ran from 1986 to 1988. It was a TV cop show parody that wanted to be a cross between the DIRTY HARRY films and the classic series GET SMART.
While it didn’t always achieve the quality of those two franchises, from time to time it was the funniest thing on TV.
This new DVD box set features all 22 episodes from Season One of SLEDGE HAMMER!, including the unaired pilot. There is also a commentary from creator Alan Spencer; a new 32-minute documentary on the series called “Go Ahead, Make Me Laugh.” That documentary features new interviews with the cast and crew of the series.
SLEDGE HAMMER! wasn’t a series for everyone, and this new box set isn’t either. But if you remember the show fondly, you’ll understand my review even more when I say “Trust me, I know what I’m doing!”
I’m sure that the actors, cast, crew, writer and director knew what they were doing when they were making the film THE WHOLE TEN YARDS.
They knew they should just take the money and run!
Take the money and run away, as far away as possible, from this horrible, horrible film.
When THE WHOLE NINE YARDS came out in the year 2000 it featured TV FRIEND Matthew Perry as a mild-mannered Montreal dentist whose new next-door neighbor just happened to be a notorious mob hit man out on parole.
Bruce Willis from the DIE HARD films played the hit man, and his chemistry with Perry along with the work of actresses Amanda Peet and Natasha Henstridge and the rest of the film’s cast made THE WHOLE NINE YARDS a very funny, enjoyable film.
So enjoyable in fact, that when I heard they were making a sequel, I was actually looking forward to it.
Boy was I disappointed. Boy am I still disappointed!!
THE WHOLE TEN YARDS is so bad, so awful, that it is a total and complete waste of your time. I’d skip it altogether on The Couch Potato Report, but I want to make sure you to hear just how bad it is so you don’t waste your time, like I did.
Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Natasha Henstridge and Amanda Peet should all have to do hours and hours of community service to make up for how bad this thing is!
The story is uninteresting, the actors look bored and I can’t even be bothered to say anything else about it.
Except that I hate ending this week’s Report on such a negative, so let me say something positive about THE WHOLE TEN YARDS and be done with it.
Ummm..okay, I got it. Here is the positive: actress Natasha Henstridge, who was born in Springdale, Newfoundland, and raised in Fort McMurray, Alberta, looks amazing in the film. She doesn’t have anything to do and seems completely bored in the picture, but she looks amazing.
There. That’s a positive note to end on.
HELLBOY, SLEDGE HAMMER! * SEASON ONE and THE WHOLE TEN YARDS are all available now at your favourite local video store.
HIDALGO is about a man and his horse that compete in a grueling desert race. The film stars Viggo Mortensen from THE LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy AND the legendary Omar Sharif from Dr. Zhivago. If you don’t expect very much going in, you might enjoy it. MIGHT enjoy it.
You also MIGHT enjoy 13 GOING ON 30. This female version of the role reversal premise perfected in the movie BIG features the incredible Jennifer Garner from TV’s ALIAS as an awkward teen who skips her adolescent years. With a little help from movie magic, she begins life again at 30.
Garner is perky, fun, and even epervescent in the film, but the film itself is none of those things. It’s entertaining enough, but it just wasn’t any fun.
I’ll have more on 13 GOING ON 30, HIDALGO and some other releases in seven days.
For now, that’s this week’s COUCH POTATO REPORT.
Enjoy the movies and I’ll see you back here next week on The Couch!