Hardest. Quiz. Ever.
In honor of “The Simpsons” airing its 300th episode on Sunday– actually, it’s the 302nd episode produced, as noted in the episode, which has Bart gaining emancipation from his parents–we humbly present a quiz on the greatest TV comedy ever.
And because you’re either going to know the answers or go back and forth to find the answers, we’re saving you a lot of time by putting the answers right after the questions.
You’re welcome. Now enjoy!
1. Krusty’s Non-Narkotik Kough Syrup for Kids was the secret ingredient in what cocktail, which was briefly all the rage in Springfield? (The Flaming Moe a k a The Flaming Homer.)
2. Comic Book Guy owns a rare Radioactive Man comic in which the superhero travels back in time to do what? (Defeat Jesse Owens at the 1936 Olympics.)
3. According to Homer, what three little sentences will get you through life? (“Cover for me,” “Oh, good idea, boss!” and “It was like that when I got here.”)
4. What three choices are there on the official “Purpose of Visit” form at Cuban customs? (Business/Pleasure, Smuggle Cigars and Assassinate Castro.)
5. Who did the B Sharps barbershop quartet beat for a Grammy? (Dexy’s Midnight Runners, though Homer says he’s sure we “haven’t heard the last of them.” )
6. What does the warning label say on the Krusty the Clown-brand Home Pregnancy Test? (May cause birth defects.)
7. Who are Sam Etic and John Jay Smith? (The names Dustin Hoffman and Michael Jackson used for their respective guest appearances in the credits.)
8. According to Waylon Smithers, what two things don’t mix on a sailing expedition? (Women and seamen.)
9. What clown college did Sideshow Bob’s brother Cecil attend? (Princeton.)
10. From what memoir does Bart quote on the plight of the Jews to win over Rabbi Krustofski, estranged father of Krusty the Clown? (Yes, I Can by Sammy Davis Jr.)
11. What was the opening act when the Simpsons performed at the Iowa state fair? (Jimmy Carter’s Habitat for Hilarity.)
12. After journeying halfway across the world to help Apu get his job back, Apu and Homer are allowed to ask the CEO of Kwik-E Mart three questions. Homer asks all three. What are his questions? (“Are you really the head of Kwik-E Mart?” “Really?” “You?”)
13. Why did Krusty bet against the Harlem Globetrotters? (He thought the Washington Generals were due.)
14. What was the name of Apu’s entry in the Springfield film festival? (“Bright Lights, Beef Jerky.”)
15. According to Comic Book Guy, what is the worst crossover comic ever? (She-Hulk vs. Leon Spinks.)
16. Who played Bart in the TV movie “Blood on the Blackboard: The Bart Simpson Story”? (Neil Patrick Harris.)
17. Who played Krusty in the TV movie “The Krusty the Clown Story: Booze, Drugs, Guns, Lies, Blackmail and Laughter”? (Fyvush Finkel.)
18. From what telethons might we remember Troy McClure? (“Out With Gout ’88,” “The Springfield Public TV Telethon” and “Let’s Save Tony Orlando’s House.”)
19. What is the name of Meryl Streep’s celebrity fragrance? (Versatility.)
20. According to Homer, what is the cause of–and solution to–all of life’s problems? (Alcohol.)
21. Comic Book Guy owns a rare photo of Sean Connery autographed by whom? (Roger Moore.)
22. Who is Krusty’s worthless half-brother? (Luke Perry.)
23. What is the name of Marge’s mother? (Jacqueline Bouvier.)
24. What is Homer J. Simpson’s middle name? (Jay.)
25. What are the ingredients in a Krusty the Clown sandwich at Izzy’s Deli? (Ham, sausage and bacon with a smidgen of mayo on white bread.)
26. According to Homer, what is the code of the schoolyard? (Don’t tattle, always make fun of those different from you and never say anything unless you’re sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.)
27. Comic Book Guy owns a rare Mary Worth comic in which Mary advises a friend to do what? (Commit suicide.)
28. How does Sideshow Bob explain his tattoo, which says “Die Bart, Die”? (He says it’s German for “The Bart, The.”)
29. What is the real name of the man known as Principal Seymour Skinner? (Armin Tamzarian, and this will never be mentioned again.)
30. How did Troy McClure end “The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular” a little over seven years ago? (“The Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off some old gambling debts. Who knows what adventures they’ll have between now and when the show becomes unprofitable?”)
Hardest. Quiz. Ever.