So Dan, is there anything new at the Multiplex this weekend?

Why yes there is!

Although there has been no hype whatsoever, he says mockingly, there is an actual Summer blockbuster being released this weekend.

It is called Spider- Man and it is based on the awesome comic book. Is it worth seeing? Is it good? Is it Web-tastic? Well, even though that final one is not a real word, yes it is! It is all three of those things.

And you can read my full review below (should you choose to).

Now, even though you might think that Spider- Man is the only film opening this weekend, it isn’t.

Some parts of North America will also have the opportunity to see the latest Woody Allen film. Called Hollywood Ending it is an incredible comedic romp (if you like Woody Allen), a great comedy (if you like Woody Allen), and a film that is well worth your time and money (if you like Woody Allen).

So (if you like Woody Allen)… and live in one of the few cities showing Hollywood Ending, have a good time!

There is no good time to be had at this weekend’s other new film. Deuces Wild is a mess.

Completed over a year ago and sitting on the shelf it is finally seeing the light of day this weekend. And while every generation needs their own version of The Outsiders, Deuces Wild is not it.

What it is, is a preposterously melodramatic paean to gang-member teens in Brooklyn circa 1958. Tuff-tawkin’ brothers spend their days battling dose doity guys ”da Vipers,” a rival gang out to peddle heroin to the Flatbush Avenue set. Why do drugs bug Leon so much? Because his other brother OD’d, and Leon is haunted by flashback visions of the kid’s demise — discovered, naturally, at the height of a raging thunderstorm.

Blah, blah, blah, blah frickin’ blah! I thought it was a waste of time, but one young guy who saw it when I did said:

“I loved this movie! It’s way better than The Godfather, Goodfellas and Donnie Brasco. It is truly a wonderful piece of film and is sure to become a genre classic.”

I have no conclusion to offer other than he is an idiot, and Dueces Wild is idiotic.

See Spider- Man instead.

Hmmm… Kirsten Dunst… yummy!

So enjoy Kirsten…I mean, enjoy the popcorn and I’ll see you at the movies!