Hey Dan! What’s new at the movies this weekend?

Ah yes, once again it’s time for my ingratiated, often imitated- in the future it will be replicated- but never duplicated look at the new films that are being released this weekend.

This week there are 3 new films and let me begin by telling you about a movie that sucks. Boy does it suck! But then again, it is about vampires!

Blade II takes place two years after the original Blade, and features the half-vampire/half-human vampire killer Wesley Snipes title character being asked by his intended targets to help fight a new breed of rogue vampires, called the Reapers, who are terrorizing both the human and vampire communities.

Essentially Blade II is a series of stylish, violent battles between Blade and his various enemies. The flavor of the conflicts is heavily influenced by the in- your- face martial arts genre, and not the unique or skilled stuff we’ve been seeing lately.

Blade II may be seriously lacking in the substance arena, but it’s never boring. Those in search of a film that offers wall-to-wall samplings of gory, kick-ass action will find it here. Those looking for something creepy or frightening are encouraged to look elsewhere. And thinking is not welcome – you can check your brain at the theater door. In fact leave it at home altogether!

Come to think of it, it was 20 years ago this year that my family and I moved home to Canada from Germany. It was also 20 years ago that a movie about a alien became the highest grossing film of all time, until “Titanic” came along that is.

Yes, it’s been 20 years since E.T.- The Extra- Terrestrial debuted. And now, in order to “cash in” on, oops! Sorry! Now, in order to “commemorate” the anniversary director Steven Spielberg has cleaned up his movie, added a slew of computer graphics and even put in some never before seen footage.

Blah, blah, blah! E.T.- The Extra- Terrestrial was a great film 20 years ago, and it is a great film now, but during it’s original release, I spent my time watching Rocky III, A Fighter. A Lover. A Legend. The Greatest Challenge!

Now that was a great movie!

As so was Animal House, Porky’s and Revenge Of The Nerds. All three of those films were great! Crude, rude and obnoxious, but great movies in their own right.

The lineage of those frat boys films continues in this weekend’s final new film, Sorority Boys. I’d give you the movie’s synopsis, but it is irrelevant. All that matters here is whether the movie is funny or not.

And if you like raunchy toilet humour, then this movie is very, very funny! In fact, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while!

Sorority Boys is hilarious!

And you can quote me on that!

Plus, it features the incredible Melissa Sagemiller! She is hot, the movie is hilarious, and a good time will be had by all!

So enjoy the popcorn and I’ll see you at the movies!