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Adult (But Funny) Content

Do you know Jack Schitt?

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Hey Dan! The Superbowl has been played, Canada has it’s Hockey Gold Medal and Spring will soon be upon us. Does that mean the bad string of new movies in theatres is coming to an end?

Why yes it does!

But not this weekend!

Wait! Wait a minute! Hold on! A person named Don emailed me and said: “…I like your Friday look at what’s new in theatres but it always seems so mean. You always focus on the negative and just make fun of stuff. Could you please make them more positive?…”

Well Don, in honour of you, I will do just that. Yes, even though this weekend’s 2 new theatrical releases are both not very good, I will write about them by focussing on the positives.

So here goes!

40 Days And 40 Nights stars pretty boy of the day Josh Hartnett as a man who gives up sex for Lent. Now when it comes to youth sex comedies, “40 Days and 40 Nights” is virtually Noel Coward. The movie contains some smart writing, funny dialogue, a cheeky production design, attractive leading actors and only occasional lapses into tastelessness. If you are a teenager, or have actually had your brain surgically removed, you will enjoy yourself. Otherwise…

Wow! I can do this! I can focus on the positive! Let me see if I can go 2 for 2!

In We Were Soldiers Mel Gibson is in it. Mel is an actor that I like, and he’s in this movie.

Wow! I did it!!! I was positive!!! Hold on! Hold it just a minute! I owe you the truth!!! And here it is!

We Were Soldiers should have been a movie that I could promote as a film from the writer of “Braveheart” (a great movie!). Instead, be warned that the movie is from the same guy who wrote “Pearl Harbour” (a really bad film). Randall Wallace is the man responsible for both and this movie makes his “Braveheart” work look like a fluke. We Were Soldiers takes place during the Vietnam war and is, as the ads say, “Based On True Events.” But you won’t care. The action scenes are great, and the rare dramtic moments are fine, but the movie isn’t about anything. It just plays in front of you for 2 hours and 20 minutes. And then it ends, without making a point.

And then you go home! And getting home is always positive, isn’t it?

Hey, I ended on a positive! Whoo hoo!!! Thanks for your advice Don!

And I hope to be positive next week as well when the remake of The Time Machine opens across North America and Men With Brooms plays only in Canada.

Until then, enjoy your popcorn and I’ll see you at the movies!

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Survivor 4, Episode 1

So after the first show we know that most of the castaways are, as I had feared, “really big” idiots, one of the female cast members has 2 “really big” luxury items, and the one who was a “really big” flake got voted off the show.

That said, I can’t wait until next week! I guess that makes me a “really big” sucker! Here’s the results from Survivor: Marquesas- Epsiode One.

Oh, and Marquesas is near Tahiti. And Sarah’s “luxury items” are real. Real expensive that is!

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This may cost him the Oscar!

AN UNAPOLOGETIC MIND

Hollywood tough guy Russell Crowe is admitting he had an angry confrontation with a television producer at the British Academy Film Awards after part of his acceptance speech was edited out of the TV broadcast. “He’s not bruised, he’s not battered but I’m quite sure his ears are still ringing,” the Sydney Morning Herald quotes Crowe as saying.

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That means Dennis Miller is out

John Madden joins “Monday Night Football.”

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Bring in the “Clones” (trailer)

‘Clones’ Clip to Bow at Vegas Confab

Twentieth Century Fox will premiere its much-anticipated trailer for “Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones” on Tuesday at the annual ShoWest convention of movie theater owners in Las Vegas.

“Clones” producer Rick McCallum will offer a special presentation dissecting digital-production work on the next installment of George Lucas’ renowned sci-fi franchise. While it’s been known McCallum would offer some clips, it was uncertain whether the “Clones” trailer would be ready in time for the trade show.

Fox executives declined comment. But it’s now known the trailer will be premiered during McCallum’s dinner presentation on the show’s first day. ShoWest, set for Las Vegas’ Paris and Bally’s hotels, concludes Thursday with an awards gala to be emceed by comedian Dana Carvey.

Fox will offer the first public showing of the 2-1/2-minute “Clones” trailer on March 10 at 9 p.m. over the Fox network, between episodes of “Malcolm in the Middle” and “The X-Files.” The studio then will attach the trailer to theatrical showings of its upcoming feature toon “Ice Age.”

“Clones,” which premieres nationwide May 16, was shot entirely in digital, using a special Sony 24P digital camera.

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Fox tries retro reunions for ratings

“Hot Lips” Houlihan and Jack Tripper could soon be coming to Fox.

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I only include coverage of this story as Leno is so bad that he deserves all of the negative publicity I can give him. Maybe then everyone else will realize how bad he is as well…

NBC is trying to quell the flap over a tasteless joke from Jay Leno.

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Only a six year low?!?! Man, that show was bad! I still have some of the stench on my clothes from the telecast!

Wednesday night’s horrendous Grammy Awards show had the ceremony’s lowest viewership of the last six years.

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They are talking about her singing

After getting dumped from EMI. Mariah Carey is talking with the other music labels.