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Letterman

Welcome back, Dave!!!

Letterman back at work after website death threat
NEW YORK (AP) — Even a fatwa is grist for comedy when you’re David Letterman.
Back from two weeks’ vacation and making his first TV appearance since a threat against his life was posted on a jihadist website, the “Late Show” host played it all for laughs during Monday’s monologue.
Letterman began by thanking his studio audience for being there.
“Tonight,” he said, “you people are more, to me, honestly, than an audience — you’re more like a human shield.”
Then he apologized for having been tardy coming out onstage.
“Backstage, I was talking to the guy from CBS,” he explained. “We were going through the CBS life insurance policy to see if I was covered for jihad.”
Until Letterman delivered his jokes, his situation seemed no laughing matter.
Last week, a frequent contributor to a jihadist website posted the threat against Letterman. He urged Muslim followers to “cut the tongue” of the late-night host because of a joke and gesture the comic had made about al-Qaida leaders on a show that aired in June.
“A guy, a radical extremist threatened to cut my tongue out,” Letterman marveled during Monday’s monologue. Then, referring to his disastrous turn hosting the Oscars in 1995, he added: “I wish I had a nickel for every time a guy has threatened (that). I think the first time was during the Academy Awards.”
“And so now,” he continued, “State Department authorities are looking into this.” But they could save themselves some trouble, he suggested: “Everybody knows it’s (Jay) Leno.”
Along with his monologue, Letterman mined the situation for his Top Ten List: “Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through My Mind After Hearing about the Threat.”
Among them:
— “Why is the staff in such a good mood?”
— “How can someone be so angry at a time when Kim Kardashian is so happy?”
— “Some people get Emmy nominations; some people get death threats.”
One joke that may have helped spark the fatwa was one of several lampooning al-Qaida in Letterman’s June 8 monologue. This was just days after the death of al-Qaida leader Ilyas Kashmiri, who was killed by a U.S. drone strike in Pakistan. Though Kashmiri was rumored to be a long-shot choice to succeed Osama bin Laden, he wouldn’t have worked out even had he lived, Letterman cracked, pointing to Kashmiri’s “rocky start” as a front-runner: “He botched up the story of Paul Revere.”
The real butt of that joke: Sarah Palin, potential 2012 GOP presidential candidate, who in early June on her “One Nation” bus tour had claimed that Paul Revere’s famous ride was intended to warn British soldiers as well as his fellow colonists.
The website contributor, who identified himself as Umar al-Basrawi, railed in his post that Letterman had referred to both bin Laden and Kashmiri and said that Letterman, in discussing Kashmiri’s death, had “put his hand on his neck and demonstrated the way of slaughter.”
“Is there not among you a Sayyid Nosair al-Mairi … to cut the tongue of this lowly Jew and shut it forever?” Al-Basrawi wrote, referring to El Sayyid Nosair, who was convicted of the 1990 killing of Jewish Defense League founder Meir Kahane. Letterman is not Jewish.
Al-Basrawi, considered likely to be an alias, has made some 1,200 postings to the Muslim website, according to Adam Raisman, an analyst for the Site Monitoring Service. The private firm, part of the Site Intelligence Group, provides information to government and commercial clients on what jihadists are saying on the Internet and in traditional media. Raisman said the online forum is often used by al-Qaida.
The FBI said last week that it was looking into the threat.
While Letterman and his writers were polishing their jokes Monday afternoon, outside on Broadway, a bomb-sniffing dog was led around the periphery of the Ed Sullivan Theater in midtown Manhattan. Meanwhile, ticketholders queuing up along the sidewalk seemed relaxed about attending Letterman’s first taping since the assassination threat. Some were even unaware that his life had been threatened.
“I’m not worried. They’ve got metal detectors,” said Kendall Phillips, a 25-year-old from Houston, noting a standard provision in the TV world for screening audience members. “Plus, it’s like really hard to get tickets.”
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Letterman

Stay well, Dave!!!

Threat to David Letterman on Muslim forum
NEW YORK (AP) — A frequent contributor to a jihadist website has threatened David Letterman, urging Muslim followers to “cut the tongue” of the late-night host because of a joke the comic made on his CBS show.
The Site Monitoring Service, a private intelligence organization that watches online activity, said Wednesday that the threat was posted a day earlier on the Shumuka al-Islam forum, a popular Internet destination for radical Muslims.
The contributor, who identified himself as Umar al-Basrawi, was reacting to what he said Letterman did after the U.S. military announced on June 5 that a drone strike in Pakistan had killed al-Qaida leader Ilyas Kashmiri.
Al-Basrawi wrote that Letterman had made reference to both Osama bin Laden and Kashmiri and said that Letterman had “put his hand on his neck and demonstrated the way of slaughter.”
“Is there not among you a Sayyid Nosair al-Mairi … to cut the tongue of this lowly Jew and shut it forever?” Al-Basrawi wrote, referring to El Sayyid Nosair, who was convicted of the 1990 killing of Jewish Defense League founder Meir Kahane. Letterman is not Jewish.
Al-Basrawi, which is likely to be an alias, has made some 1,200 postings to the Muslim website, said Adam Raisman, an analyst for the Site Monitoring Service. The private firm, part of the Site Intelligence Group, provides information to government and commercial clients on what jihadists are saying on the Internet and traditional media. Raisman said the online forum is often used by al-Qaida.
Muslim extremist groups in the past few months have increased calls for people to take violent action against certain targets in the West, he said.
“The concern is that there is someone who will read it, agree with it and say, ‘I want to be the Sayyid Nosair of 2011 and kill David Letterman,'” Raisman said.
The FBI is also looking into the threat, said Jim Margolin, spokesman for the bureau’s New York office. “We take every potential threat seriously,” he said.
Neither CBS nor a Letterman spokesman, Tom Keaney, would comment on the threat. CBS would not make available a transcript of Letterman’s monologue on the killing of Kashmiri.
Letterman has been the target of criminal threats in the past. A former CBS News producer was jailed for trying to extort $2 million from Letterman in 2009 by threatening to expose the host’s sexual dalliances with members of his staff. A former painter at Letterman’s ranch in Montana was jailed following a 2005 plot to kidnap the TV funnyman’s nanny and son.
A radical Muslim group last year warned the creators of “South Park” that they could face violent retribution for depicting the prophet Muhammad in a bear suit on the Comedy Central cartoon. Author Salman Rushdie spent years in hiding after Iranian leader Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged he be killed for blasphemy after writing the book “The Satanic Verses.”
Filmmaker Theo van Gogh was killed on an Amsterdam street in 2004 by a Dutch Muslim angered by his film “Submission,” a fictional study of abused Muslim women.
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Letterman

Dave is still the best…pissy doors or not!!

Stupid human trick: Drunk, unemployed actor trashes Letterman’s studio
Talk about a “Stupid Human Trick.”
A hungover, unemployed actor woke up early Sunday outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater after a night of binge drinking; he had trashed the landmark New York studio’s lobby after realizing he lost his cellphone, New York police say.
James Whittemore, a struggling 22-year-old actor, spent most of the early morning hours drinking at Hurley’s Saloon, a bar a few blocks away from the historic theater where David Letterman’s “Late Show” is taped, according to the New York Post.
Whittemore, who left the bar at 5:30 a.m. and awoke around 7, was “caught on surveillance video urinating on one of the theater lobby’s glass doors” and proceeded to kick through them, police sources told the paper.
When police arrived, Whittemore–who has appeared in several musical revues in Atlantic City and Niagara Falls–was seen on the video “dropping to the ground and placing a stanchion across his throat” to appear like a victim, according to the report.
He was later treated for a “gash to the head” before police charged him with burglary and criminal mischief.
You can expect Letterman’s writers to have a field day with the incident on Monday’s show, which tapes from the theater this afternoon.
Tonight’s guests: “Harry Potter” actress Emma Watson, “Captain America” star Chris Evans, fellow late night host George Lopez and the band Incubus.
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Letterman

You don’t need her, Dave!! You are so much better than her!!!

David Letterman snubbed from Oprah celebration: ‘Disappointed and crushed’
Everyone who’s anyone was on hand for Oprah’s star studded finale celebration. Apparently that makes David Letterman no one. 
The CBS late night host voices his displeasure on Thursday’s “Late Show” at not receiving an invitation after spending “12-15 years kissing up to Oprah.” 
“Honest to God, everyday I get out of bed and I think ‘What can I do to suck up to Oprah?'” he jokes. “Because I decided at some point, I love Oprah. I want to be on Oprah’s bandwagon, I want to be part of Oprah, I want to be on the show, I want to be on the magazine, I want the whole Oprah deal. I want it all.”
And it’s not just regular disappointment he’s dealing with here… it’s much worse. 
“More than upset,” he says. “Crushed. I mean, disappointed and crushed. I wanna just bask in the glory that is Oprah. Who doesn’t?”
The two talk veterans had a longstanding feud before burying the hatchet in 2005. While many remember the awkward 1995 Academy Award joke (Oprah, Uma… Uma, Oprah), Letterman admits that Lady O’s distaste for him stemmed beyond that night, when he tricked her into buying his lunch.
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Letterman

Congrats to them all!!

Comedy Awards hail Letterman, Fey and ‘South Park’
NEW YORK ñ David Letterman, Tina Fey and Louis C.K. were among the laugh-getters honored Saturday night at the first annual Comedy Awards.
At the presentation held by Comedy Central, Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) and Kristen Wiig (“Saturday Night Live”) won as Best Comedy Actor and Actress in Television.
Tina Fey (“Date Night”) and Zach Galifianakis (“Dinner for Schmucks”) were awarded Best Comedy Actress and Actor in Film.
“Modern Family” received the award for Best Comedy Series, while “The Other Guys” was named Best Comedy Film.
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” won for Best Late-Night Comedy Series, “South Park” for Animated Comedy Series and “Toy Story 3” for Animated Comedy Film.
“Louis C.K.: Hilarious” won for Best Standup Special and “Childrens Hospital” received the award for Sketch Comedy-Alternative Comedy Series.
Daniel Tosh was chosen by fans to receive the Breakthrough Performer award. “Auto-Tune the News: Bed Intruder Song” was elected by fans as Best Viral Original.
Eddie Murphy was honored with the previously announced Comedy Icon Award, while David Letterman received the night’s highest honor as the first recipient of the Johnny Carson Award for Comedic Excellence.
The Comedy Awards will air on April 10 on Comedy Central and other Viacom-owned networks including Nick at Nite, VH1 and TV Land.

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Letterman

Yet another reason why Dave rocks!!!

Letterman apologizes to Lohan
TV host David Letterman has apologised to Lindsay Lohan after he mistakenly announced she would be appearing in a segment poking fun at herself on his talk show.
Chiefs at CBS sent out a release on Tuesday, stating the troubled actress would be reading the nightly Top Ten list on The Late Show With David Letterman on Thursday via satellite from her home in California.
However, the Mean Girls star claimed she had not agreed to appear on the programme and it was later discovered her estranged father Michael made the call to book the 24 year old on the show.
Letterman admits he was left red-faced when he realised the blunder – and he apologised to Lohan during his programme on Wednesday night.
He said, “Last week I did a thing on the Grammys and there was a Lindsay Lohan joke about her stealing a Grammy award and the next day I get a call and it’s a guy saying, ‘Lindsay thought the joke was hilarious… she wants to be on your show.’
“I said great! I called publicity and I said get the press release out immediately… so it goes around the world and people are saying, ‘Are you kidding me, this is going to be fantastic’. And then Lindsay Lohan said none of that’s happening, it’s not true.
“It turns out we were duped. I have no one to blame but myself, and boy is my face red. Now I need to apologise to the Lindsay Lohan family, I hope I didn’t embarrass you Lindsay and your family.”
Lohan has been charged with felony grand theft over allegations she stole a necklace from a jeweller’s in Venice, California last month. She’s currently free on bail and is due back in court on February 23.

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Letterman

She should now do it anyway!!

Lindsay Lohan’s dad behind Letterman “mistake”
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) ñ Lindsay Lohan’s father on Wednesday claimed he was the mystery “friend” behind a bogus announcement of plans by his troubled daughter to appear on David Letterman’s late-night television show.
CBS had said a day earlier that Lohan, 24, was booked to appear by satellite on Thursday for the show’s nightly “Top 10” comedy bit, a segment that recently has poked fun at her wave of personal problems.
But producers of the “Late Show with David Letterman” said on Wednesday that Lohan would not be appearing, because a mistake had been made. Initially, it seemed the talk show had been hoaxed by a prankster. But the actress’ father, Michael Lohan, later claimed responsibility for trying to book his daughter on the program.
Letterman apologized for the mix-up in a taping of his show on Wednesday, saying he was the person who took the call.
“It turns out we were duped, and I have no one to blame but myself, and boy is my face red,” Letterman said.
It would have been the first TV appearance by the “Mean Girls” actress since she was charged last week with stealing a $2,500 gold necklace, days after leaving her fifth stint in rehab in three years.
By midday on Wednesday, Michael Lohan had told celebrity website TMZ.com that he made the Letterman booking after getting the green light from his daughter.
Michael Lohan, who recently repaired a strained relationship with his daughter, told TMZ that Lindsay “knew full well” about the booking. He said everything was going well until representatives for the actress got wind of the appearance and shut it down.
Tom Keaney, a spokesman for Letterman’s production company, said “clearly” the person who contacted the show was “not authorized to make commitments on (Lohan’s) behalf.”
Lohan said in a Twitter message late on Tuesday that she was not doing the show and apologized for the confusion, adding “I’m not sure how this happened.”
Lohan, once one of Hollywood’s most promising young stars, is facing a possible three-year sentence if convicted of walking out of a Los Angeles jewelry store in January without paying for the necklace.
Letterman seemed to sarcastically allude to Lohan’s recent troubles when he spoke to his audience on Wednesday.
“And by the way, now I need to apologize to the Lindsay Lohan family. I hope I didn’t embarrass you, Lindsay, and your family,” the comedian said, as the audience laughed.
She has pleaded not guilty to grand theft — the most serious charge against her in three years of failed drug tests, missed court appearances and brief spells in jail stemming from a 2007 drunken-driving and cocaine-possession offense.

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Letterman

Dave still rocks!! He absolutely rocks!!!

Is David Letterman retiring? ‘There’s [been] no discussion about his leaving,’ says producer Rob Burnett
Oh, CBS, how tricky you are: Though a clip of David Lettermanís Late Show interview with Howard Stern ó in which the shock jock dissed Leno ó has been running rampant throughout the Web today, it was cut short before Letterman told Stern that he would only be hosting the show for a couple more years. Before long, fans who watched the show live last night took the the Internets, wondering if that meant retirement was in Lettermanís future.
As Rob Burnett ó CEO of Worldwide Pants and executive producer of Late Show ó tells EW, donít count on it. ìI think the first time Dave said he was going to leave in two years was back in 1987,î Burnett says. ìHe was asked a question [last night]: ëHow much longer do you see yourself doing this?í And he said, ëI donít know, a couple of years.í It was kind of a tossed-off response. I think itís a response heís given multiple timesÖ. In no way was last nightís show any kind of actual announcement of any kind. I think when a guy ends a 30-plus career on television, itís not going to be guessing about whether heís leaving or not. It wonít be ambiguous.î
Though Burnett downplays rumors that Letterman will retire in 2013 after his contract expires in 2012, he himself says he has no idea when the talk show host plans to hang up his hat. (Or should we say pants?) ìHe says this periodically, [but] I donít want to rule it out,î says Burnett. ìI have no particular insight into when David Letterman is going to want to stop doing the show. Iím not being coy. I honestly donít know. I donít know that he knows. Maybe he does, but thereís [been] no discussion about his leaving.î
Of course, if youíre heading to Vegas, it wouldnít be a bad bet to put your money on 2013, especially when you consider that Lettermanís idol, Johnny Carson, retired from The Tonight Show when he was 66 ó the same age Letterman will be in 2013. Burnett, however, still insists that there are plenty more Late Shows ahead. ìDaveís as funny as heís ever been,î he says. ìFor athletes, there comes a time when you canít get around on the fastball anymore. [But] Dave is still knocking it out of the park.î

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Letterman

None of us are okay with Leno!!

Conan OK with Letterman, not so much with Leno
BURBANK, Calif. ñ Conan O’Brien says he got a phone call from David Letterman over the holidays. The CBS host wanted to make sure a year of late-night TV turmoil hadn’t created a rift between them.
O’Brien told reporters Wednesday that he and Letterman have “always been good. I said he didn’t owe me a phone call, but I appreciated it.”
O’Brien wouldn’t be so receptive to a call from Jay Leno, who preceded and replaced him as “Tonight” show host.
He says the reason is no mystery, noting, “We all know the story.”
O’Brien said the experience of losing the “Tonight” show left him and his staff feeling like a band of pirates that stuck together through hard times. It’s a dynamic he believes makes the show stronger.
O’Brien’s new TBS show, called “Conan,” began in November. He said the past year’s upheaval has left him more willing to take chances onstage.
“I’m very appreciative,” he said. “There’s nothing like walking away from the ‘Tonight’ show that makes you appreciative of being on the air and having a TV show. I think that feeling is coming through.”
O’Brien’s show and “Lopez Tonight,” which follows it on TBS’ lineup, both have an audience with an average age of 33, the youngest among the late-night talk shows.
“I like performing for children,” he said. “I have a 7-year-old and a 5-year-old. That’s a workout. Making them laugh brings me a lot of joy.”
He said his comedy has an inherent silliness that a younger audience may appreciate. Reaching a young audience is usually a strength in television, but NBC was concerned that O’Brien wasn’t expanding his audience beyond that.
He acknowledged some sadness at no longer being a part of NBC, and being disconnected with some people he spent a lot of time with. The Monday after his last “Tonight” show, he called his assistant so they could meet to discuss some business. She wondered: “Where?”
So they met in a store that sells pies.
“There’s a whole body of work that I feel a little detached from,” he said.

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Letterman

Dave rocks!!!

Joaquin Phoenix to David Letterman: I’m sorry
NEW YORK ñ Actor Joaquin Phoenix returned to David Letterman’s “Late Show” on Wednesday to apologize for his wacky appearance last year that turned out to be an elaborate piece of performance art.
“You’ve interviewed many, many people and I assumed that you would know the difference between a character and a real person, so ó but I apologize,” Phoenix said. “I hope I didn’t offend you in any way.”
No offense taken, Letterman replied. The chance to lob jokes at Phoenix was like batting practice, he said.
“Every one of them was a dinger,” he said.
Phoenix was clean-cut and shaven Wednesday, without the shaggy beard, unruly hair and sunglasses he wore on Feb. 11, 2009, when he told a befuddled Letterman that he was giving up acting for a rap career. Describing that appearance on Wednesday, Letterman said it was “like you slipped and hit your head in the tub.”
Instead, Phoenix was playing a role for filmmaker friend Casey Affleck. The fake documentary on Phoenix’s “career change,” called “I’m Still Here,” just hit theaters.
At Letterman’s urging, Phoenix made clear that the talk-show host was not in on the joke.
“We’d hoped to come on a talk show,” Phoenix said with a laugh, “and I was looking for a beat down, and I got one … I want to thank you for that.”
Affleck, who appeared with Jay Leno on the “Tonight” show Tuesday, said no one from Hollywood called to express concern about Phoenix when he was acting strangely.
“Afterward, the movie comes out, the critics like to say `this is crazy, this is disturbing, this is sick,'” he said. “But while it’s happening, people were happy just to mock him and make fun of him.”