The Couch Potato Report - January 18th, 2005
This week in The Couch Potato Report there are some Friday night lights, a movie that is called THE FORGOTTEN and a movie that should just be forgotten.
Winning, losing and the results of both are at the centre of this week's first new release, a based on a true story football movie called FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS.
FRIDAY NIGHT's lights shine on high school football in Odessa, Texas, in the late 1980's.
To some people in the small West Texas town, the weekly game is the only game in town and every single game is a must win.
Can you imagine if - at the age of seventeen - everyone was always telling you that you had to win? That you had to be perfect?
These kids are told non-stop that they must be perfect. That they must win the state championship.
Do they? Don't they? I'll never tell.
I will tell you that director Peter Berg has given us an energetic film that will make you feel as if you are right on the field with the players.
But this isn't just a football movie. There are real people behind each player, and an abundance of great performances in FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, especially from Billy Bob Thornton.
Thornton, who has also starred in PUSHING TIN and BAD SANTA, is the team's coach. He is a man who knows when he has to speak and when he has to listen.
And he has to listen to everyone in the small town telling him what he should do and what he's done wrong.
Admittedly, if you don't like football, or sports movies, FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS isn't going to convert you.
There is more on field action that off the field drama.
I liked FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS and I don't hesitate to recommend it.
I do hesitate to recommend, or even suggest that I liked the psychological conspiracy movie THE FORGOTTEN, but since I am a huge fan of Julianne Moore, I must admit that even though I didn't really like it, it wasn't bad.
Yes, that is my statement about THE FORGOTTEN - it wasn't bad.
You might remember Julianne Moore from THE BIG LEBOWSKI or THE HOURS.
In THE FORGOTTEN she plays a grieving mother whose nine-year-old son was killed in a plane crash.
At least, that's what she thinks.
Everyone else - including her husband - is telling her she has never had a son.
She then finds a similarly traumatized father, and when they witness some very strange events as they try to figure out what is real and what isn't.
Things start to go wrong by about the middle of the film as things turn a bit preposterous, but as I said, THE FORGOTTEN isn't bad.
It is simply an entertaining trip into THE TWILIGHT ZONE and THE X-FILES' territory. Since those shows aren't producing new episodes, THE FORGOTTEN is available, should you like that sort of shows.
That movie is called THE FORGOTTEN, while our final Couch Potato entry this week is CATWOMAN, a movie that should just be forgotten.
Oscar winner Halle Berry stars as a mousy graphic designer for a cosmetics company who is killed as a result of her overhearing details about her employer's new beauty cream.
A supernatural cat brings her back to life and brings up a new persona, and who cares?!?! This movie stinks, stinks, stinks!
The script is awful the acting is horrible and the movie will make you wish you were in the middle of an eight hour root canal with no anesthetic.
This movie does not offer a single worthwhile, interesting, or exciting scene. The action is dull, predictable, and repetitive.
Plain and simple, CATWOMAN is one of the worst films released in the last decade.
But, since I like the character of Catwoman - as seen in the BATMAN comics and portrayed on TV by Lee Meriwether, Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt, and in the film BATMAN RETURNS by Michelle Pfieffer - I feel I must say something positive about this film.
Okay, positive...well, for some people, the vision of Halle Berry in shredded skin-tight leather is positive, but no that's not it for me,...ummm, at 104 minutes it isn't that long, but that is still an hour and 44 minutes that I'll never get back,...geez, what can I say that is positive? What can I say?
Oh! I've got it!
The most positive thing I can say about CATWOMAN starring Halle Berry is that this review is over and I will never have to watch or talk about the movie ever again.
And that is very positive!
The catastrophic CATWOMAN, the recommendable FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, and the isn't bad THE FORGOTTEN are now available for your viewing decisions.
COMING UP IN THE NEXT COUCH POTATO REPORT...
...is the technical marvel SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW. This old fashioned tale features a reporter and a pilot who save the world from evil madman. Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie all star.
The all-star music group Metallica can be seen in the insightful documentary METALLICA: SOME KIND OF MONSTER. It starts off as a film about the band making their new album, and becomes a look at how the band needs a therapist to avoid falling apart.
There isn't a part of the classic film WHITE HEAT that isn't great! It is one of the best gangster films ever made and this James Cagney classic is finally debuting on DVD.
The entire run of the BBC sitcom COUPLING can also be described using the word classic, but the episodes in COUPLING - THE COMPLETE FOURTH SEASON certainly lowers the bar.
Also coming out next week is the horror film ALIEN VS. PREDATOR. This film brings the two lead villains from the ALIEN and PREDATOR series together as they battle on Earth.
Good luck to us all!
I'm Dan Reynish and I'll have more on it, and those other releases, in seven days.
And that's this week's COUCH POTATO REPORT.
Enjoy the movies and I'll see you back here next week on The Couch!
'Survivor 10' cast, theme unveiled
The newest Survivors are about to get "Lost."
Continuing his friendly rivalry with the hit ABC adventure series, "Survivor" producer Mark Burnett told Variety the "Survivor Palau" contestants are going to be marooned -- for real.
"They're given very little instruction about what to do, and some of them are genuinely lost," Burnett said. "Two people don't make it to the first challenge. That's how tough it is. It's very emotional."
Debuting February 17th on CBS, the 10th installment of the popular reality show series is rumoured to feature a sweeping war theme to rival the pirate premise of the "Pearl Islands" edition complete with plenty of new twists. The Palau buffs even feature camouflage colours of green, blue and brown. Palau is located in the Pacific Ocean and was the location of many World War II battles. The area is home to all manner of historic ship and plane wrecks from the war's "Pacific Theater."
The producers have confirmed the players will start the game as one tribe, they will be given no assistance in surviving life on the island and three players "leave" on the first episode. Internet gossip suggests some of the twists will figure into the war theme with the tribes possibly capturing their foes as PoWs.
On "The Early Show" monday and the official "Survivor Palau" web site, CBS revealed the identities of the 20 new contestants, the largest number of players to ever start the game. Dominated by younger personalities, the new cast features a civil rights attorney, a dolphin trainer, a Vegas showgirl and a New York City firefighter.
The official "Survivor Palau" cast is:
COBY ARCHA: 32, Athens, Texas, Hairstylist.
ASHLEE ASHBY: 22, Easley, S.C., Student.
GREGG CAREY: 28, Chicago, Business Consultant
BOBBY JON DRINKARD, 27, Santa Monica, Calif., Waiter.
KATIE GALLAGHER: 29, Merced, Calif., Advertising Executive.
CARYN GROEDEL: 46, Solon, Ohio, Civil Rights Attorney.
ANGIE JAKUSZ: 24, New Orleans, Bartender.
JOLANDA JONES: 39, Houston, Lawyer.
STEPHENIE LaGROSSA: 25, Philadelphia, Pa., Pharmaceutical Sales Representative.
JONATHAN LIBBY: 23, Dallas, Sales and Marketing.
JENNIFER LYON: 32, Encino, Calif., Nanny.
JAMES MILLER: 33, Mobile, Ala., Steel Worker.
KIMBERLY MULLEN: 25, Huber Heights, Ohio, Graduate Student.
IBREHEM RAHMAN: 27, Birmingham, Ala., Waiter.
IAN ROSENBERGER: 23, Key Largo, Fla, Dolphin Trainer.
WANDA SHIRK: 55, Ulysses, Pa., English Teacher.
WILLIARD SMITH: 57, Bellevue, Wash., Lawyer.
JANU TORNELL: 39, Las Vegas, Vegas Showgirl.
TOM WESTMAN: 41, Sayville, N.Y., N.Y. City Firefighter.
JEFF WILSON: 21, Ventura, Calif., Personal Trainer.
FOX Issues May Day Call for 'Family Guy'
LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) "Family Guy" fans who have been clamoring for the show's resurrection will see their wish come true in May.
FOX announced Monday (Jan. 17) at the TV Critics Association winter press tour that the show will air its first new episode in more than three years on Sunday, May 1. The network has committed to a full season's worth of episodes, so it's likely that the show can run well into the summer without repeating.
Also that night, FOX will launch the series run of "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane's new show, "American Dad." It centers on Stan Smith, an excessively gung-ho CIA agent who tends to bring his work home with him.
Viewers will get a first look at "American Dad" on Super Bowl Sunday, Feb. 6, when the pilot will be paired with a sports-themed episode of "The Simpsons" after the game. Come May, the two shows will occupy the 9 p.m. Sunday hour; until then, FOX will program reruns of "Family Guy" and "The Simpsons."
"Family Guy" also received the coveted post-Super Bowl premiere spot in 1999, but the show never got much love from FOX after that. It bounced around the network's schedule for three-plus seasons before being pulled for good in February 2002.
The show's loyal cult following, however, made it a huge seller on DVD -- its compilations have sold a combined 3.5 million units -- and repeats on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim performed well, prompting FOX to commission new episodes.
FOX also announced Monday that its new comedy "Life on a Stick" will debut at 9:30 p.m. ET Wednesday, May 23, in the cushy spot following the "American Idol" results show. The series stars Amy Yasbeck ("Wings"), Zachary Knighton, Charlie Finn and Matthew Glave.
'Incredibles' DVD tells Jack-Jack's story
Super! The Incredibles arrives on DVD March 15 ($29.99, also on VHS) with an all-new animated short that reveals the latent powers of Jack-Jack, the baby of the animated superhero family.
Jack-Jack's Attack chronicles "what takes place at the house with (babysitter) Kari and Jack-Jack while the rest of the family is on the way to the island or on the island," Pixar DVD producer Ann Brilz says. As the story plays out, the toddler reveals his latent powers.
Other extras include an alternate opening, deleted scenes, bloopers and commentary from director Brad Bird, Mr. Incredible (Craig T. Nelson) and Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson). A making-of-the-film featurette began as soon as Bird came to Pixar to start work on the film. "When he walked in the first time, he carried a camera, and it was rolling the whole time," Brilz says. "We had this great body of footage to draw from."
New Tunage
Here are the new CD releases for Tuesday, January 18th, 2005:
Jason Anderson The Wreath (K)
The BellRays The Red, White and Black (Alternative Tentacles)
Citified Citified (Eskimo Kiss)
Four Volts Triple Your Work Force (Kanine)
The Game The Documentary (Interscope)
The Innocence Mission Now the Day Is Over (Badman)
Parchman Farm Parchman Farm EP (Jackpine Social Club)
Sloppy Meateaters Conditioned by the Laugh Track (Orange Peel)
T.H. White More Than Before (guests Howie Beno of Ministry and Steely Dan's Cornelius Bumpus) (Gammon)
Brian Wilson & The Beach Boys Maximum (audio biography w/color picture disc) (Chrome Dreams)
Wires on Fire Homewrecker (Buddyhead)
VA Fried Glass Onions - Memphis Meets the Beatles (soul tribute) (Inside Sounds)
VA The Free Design ‘Redesigned' (Vol. 2) (ICE #213) (Light in the Attic)
DVD Kurt Cobain: The Early Life of a Legend (Chrome Dreams)
DVD VA Straight from the Heart -Volume 1 (live PBS special from 2003 w/Tony Orlando & Dawn, The 5th Dimension and Dionne Warwick) (Shout! Factory)
Golden Globes Leave Oscar Race Fuzzy
LOS ANGELES - This year, the Golden Globes have left the road to the Oscars a fuzzy one. Potential Oscar front-runners Hilary Swank of the boxing saga "Million Dollar Baby" and Jamie Foxx of the Ray Charles film biography "Ray" came away with lead-acting prizes at Sunday's Globes.
But the Globes were a split decision for perpetual Oscar also-ran Martin Scorsese, whose Howard Hughes epic "The Aviator" won for best drama, yet missed out on the directing honor, which went to Clint Eastwood for "Million Dollar Baby."
Globe wins for underdogs Clive Owen and Natalie Portman, co-stars of the sex drama "Closer," leave the supporting-actor Oscar categories wide open. Morgan Freeman of "Million Dollar Baby" and Cate Blanchett of "The Aviator" had been viewed as more likely favorites.
Add in lead-acting Globes for two other Hollywood veterans, Leonardo DiCaprio as Hughes in "The Aviator" and Annette Bening in the theater farce "Being Julia," and the Feb. 27 Oscars could be an anything-goes scenario across-the-board.
The Oscars last year followed the Globes' lead to the letter. All four acting recipients preceded their Oscar triumphs with Globe wins, while "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" followed its dominant night at the Globes with a clean sweep of its 11 Oscar categories, including best picture and director.
Bening won the musical or comedy actress Globe for "Being Julia," playing a gleefully vengeful 1930s stage diva. It was the first awards-worthy role Bening has had since "American Beauty" five years ago, when she was the front-runner, but lost the Golden Globe dramatic prize and the best-actress Oscar to underdog Swank for "Boys Don't Cry."
Not wanting to jinx her Oscar chances, Bening sidestepped a question backstage at the Globes about what she would wear to the Oscars. "Trick question," Bening quipped.
Swank, playing a fighter whose life turns tragic, won the dramatic-actress Globe for "Million Dollar Baby." She downplayed the potential Oscar rematch with Bening.
"I don't really see it as competition," Swank said. "Annette's amazing, and she was so gracious to me five years ago when we were both nominated. She gave me good advice and she was gracious, and she's an inspiration.
"I think it's just unfortunate that things are seen as winners and losers, because in the end, the performances all speak for themselves and make everyone, I think, a winner. I'm just honored to have my name mentioned with her."
Like Swank and Bening, lead-actor winners Foxx and DiCaprio seem poised as chief Oscar contenders. DiCaprio, who won for dramatic actor, normally would have the inside track at the Oscars, which favors Globe drama winners.
But Foxx, the Globe winner for actor in a musical or comedy, probably will emerge as the Oscar favorite. His role as Charles goes head-to-head with DiCaprio's turn as Hughes for heavy-duty drama, and his portrayal was an uncannily spot-on emulation of the singer, who died last year.
"It's a beautiful thing for Ray and everything he leaves us," said Foxx, who had a record three Globe nominations but lost the other two, supporting movie actor for "Collateral" and TV movie or miniseries actor for "Redemption."
"The Aviator" was the top Globe winner with three trophies. With its grand scope, weighty drama and vibrant re-creation of early Hollywood, "The Aviator" now is positioned as a possible front-runner for the best-picture Oscar, an honor that has eluded Scorsese.
The filmmaker behind "Raging Bull," "GoodFellas" and "Gangs of New York" also has never won the directing Oscar, potentially giving him the sympathy vote among members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
Yet best-picture and director honors often are divided at the Oscars. Scorsese could end up in such a split with Eastwood, a best-picture and directing Oscar winner for "Unforgiven."
A major production from perennial Oscar contender Miramax, "The Aviator" was on the awards radar for a year or more before its debut last December. "Million Dollar Baby" crept up quietly, coming just a year after Eastwood's acclaimed "Mystic River," which won acting Oscars for Sean Penn and Tim Robbins.
Like "Mystic River," "Million Dollar Baby" may have benefited from arriving without the fanfare that precedes many big Oscar hopefuls.
"This picture's the same way," Eastwood said. "Let people discover it for themselves and see if they like it, and if they do, then it builds its own life."
Jackson: Remaking 'King Kong' Is a Dream
LOS ANGELES - Director Peter Jackson's first attempt to remake "King Kong" featured an Empire State Building constructed out of cardboard and a Manhattan skyline painted on an old bedsheet. It was an amateur effort, but Jackson was only 13 at the time. He has a bigger budget now, at 43.
Jackson, who directed "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, said remaking "King Kong" has been a lifelong obsession.
The $150 million remake now in production is a respectful tribute to the 1933 original. Jackson approached Fay Wray, who played Ann in the first film, about making a cameo, but she died before it was possible.
"Obviously, there's a lot of criticism and apprehension about remaking any film, and it has the potential for pitfalls that are greater than 'The Lord of the Rings,'" he told the Los Angeles Times during a short break on the "King Kong" set. "But it's a dream come true. That's the reality of it."
The Sequel Strikes Again as Box Office Success
LONDON (Reuters) - Coming soon to a cinema near you: "Return of the Sequel."
The box office success of movie sequels over the past few years has Hollywood sticking to the formula and banking on a fresh wave of them for 2005, with new episodes in the "Star Wars," "Batman" and "Harry Potter" series on their way.
The relative financial success of sequels lately has had cinema owners reaching for the number "2" and the word "return" more often than ever for their marquees.
Of the $20 billion earned by films and their sequels at the U.S. box office from 1980, 38 percent came from the first in the series and 36 percent from the first sequel, indicating that sequels perform on a par at the box office with the original, according to research published Monday by Screen Digest.
Studios issued a record number of 15 sequels in 2002, and 14 each in 2003 and 2004, and they have been rushing the second and third installments to screens more quickly.
Screen Digest found that the average lag between sequels was three years between 1980 and 2004, but in more recent years the gap has fallen to about a year.
Though the research focuses on U.S. box office success, sequels dominated screens around the world last year as audiences turned to the comfort of their favorite characters.
In the UK alone, four sequels -- "Shrek 2," "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban," "Bridget Jones -- The Edge of Reason," and "Spider-Man 2" topped the list of the five highest-grossing films. Only "The Incredibles" at No. 4 was not part of a series.
"Movie sequels have been a key driver of recent sustained box office growth, with some of the highest grossing titles part of a franchise," Screen Digest analyst David Hancock said.
NOT MERELY COPIES
The success of recent sequels is owed to scripts that don't always simply retell the same story in the same way the original did, a common complaint among movie-goers.
"'Lord of the Rings,' 'Harry Potter,' 'Star Wars,' 'Spiderman' and 'Shrek' are all examples of how creatively strong a sequel can be, proving that it is no longer a cynical option but a clever marketing strategy to build on a good idea and an audience base rather than exploit it," Hannock said.
The highest-grossing series of films in the United States is "Star Wars," with the five films raking in $1.4 billion, according to Screen Digest, with the three-part "Lord of the Rings" the only other series to top the $1 billion mark.
The "Spider-Man" series, however, has earned the highest per film average on U.S. screens, $376 million for its two titles, and "Shrek" is second with an average of $351 million.
Action films dominate the world of sequels with 51 movies or nearly three out of every 10 over the last quarter century, Screen Digest found. Comedy (18 percent), horror (16 percent) and sci-fi (14 percent) are the next most popular genres.
The firm also found that May, June and July account for about half of all sequel releases.
The longest-running series, since 1980, is "Friday the 13th" with 11 installments, and $309 million of total gross proceeds.
Excluded from the study -- which only accounts for films first released in 1980 -- is Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer's James Bond and Pink Panther franchises, as well as such popular film series as "The Godfather," "Mad Max," "Jaws," "Halloween," "Airplane" and "Superman."
'Aviator' Leads British Film Award Nominations
LONDON (Reuters) - Kate Winslet will be competing with herself at Britain's film awards next month, winning two nominations for best actress, but Martin Scorsese's "The Aviator" led the way with 14 nods in a pre-Oscar boost.
"Vera Drake," about a back-street abortionist in 1950s London, won 11 British Academy Film Awards nominations on Monday, matched by "Finding Neverland," a story of J.M. Barrie's friendship with a family who inspired him to create Peter Pan.
Once again the BAFTAs, moved in 2001 from April to February to fall between the U.S. Golden Globes and Oscars, are seeking to steal a little of Hollywood's limelight as the cinema awards season reaches its climax.
"There is a perception that the BAFTAs are now some sort of indicator en route to the Oscars," BAFTA chairman Duncan Kenworthy told Reuters.
"The bottom line is that we want to have all nominees in the room. If Americans stayed away it would be less exciting," added Kenworthy, producer of British cinema successes including "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and "Love Actually." Winslet has been short-listed for "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and "Finding Neverland," and is up against Imelda Staunton for Vera Drake, Charlize Theron ("Monster") and Ziyi Zhang ("House of Flying Daggers") in the best actress category.
"Daggers," the martial arts extravaganza directed by Yimou Zhang, is up for nine BAFTA awards.
Leonardo DiCaprio, who starred alongside Winslet in the box office sensation "Titanic," was nominated as best actor for his portrayal of billionaire playboy and inventor Howard Hughes in The Aviator.
He is competing with Johnny Depp in "Finding Neverland," Jamie Foxx for "Ray," Jim Carrey for "Eternal Sunshine..." and Mexican actor Gael Garcia Bernal for "The Motorcycle Diaries."
Critics have bemoaned the lack of British films represented at the BAFTAs, noting that movies like "Shaun of the Dead," "My Summer of Love," "Vanity Fair" and "Phantom of the Opera" were not in the running for major gongs.
But Kenworthy said there was plenty of British talent on show in a year when predicting winners would be tough.
"British talent is global now and that is a new definition. Rather than being about British-financed films, it is British talent that's the criterion."
One notable absentee from the BAFTA ceremony on February 12 will be Clint Eastwood's acclaimed boxing drama "Million Dollar Baby," which won awards for best director and best dramatic actress at the Golden Globes.
Kenworthy said that the film's distributors decided not to send out "screeners," or DVD copies, to more than 6,000 voters because they were worried about copies changing hands and being pirated.
"The downside was that members can't vote for film they didn't see."
Actress Virginia Mayo Dead at 84 - Report
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Virginia Mayo, a 1940s screen siren who co-starred opposite such greats as Danny Kaye and James Cagney, died near Los Angeles on Monday of pneumonia and heart failure, the Los Angeles Times reported on its Web site. She was 84.
Mayo, whose films included "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," "White Heat" and "The Best Years of Our Lives," died in a nursing home near her residence in Thousand Oaks, California, the newspaper quoted a family friend as saying.
Famed for her peaches-and-cream complexion and curvaceous figure, the St. Louis native appeared in more than 40 films during the 1940s and '50s, equally adept at comedies and dramas.
A former vaudeville performer, she made her Hollywood debut in the 1943 movie "Jack London," starring her future husband, Michael O'Shea.
She teamed with Kaye the following year in "Up in Arms," and they reunited over the next few years in "The Kid From Brooklyn," "A Song Is Born," and "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."
Perhaps her most memorable role was as the unscrupulous wife of Cagney's gangster character in the 1949 crime melodrama "White Heat."
"Jimmy was the master actor, the most dynamic star the screen ever had," Mayo told the Los Angeles Times in 1981. "His acting was so real that I was really scared half the time we were on the set."
Her other credits included "Captain Horatio Hornblower" with Gregory Peck; "The Silver Chalice" with Paul Newman; and "The Flame and the Arrow" with Burt Lancaster.
After her career faded in the early 1960s, she did stage and dinner theater work. She was married to O'Shea from 1947 until his death in 1973. She is survived by a daughter, Mary Johnston.
Two Newfies go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.
The first Newfie turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."
"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."
"I promise I won't," says the Newfie. "Just hurry!"
Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second Newfie. Exasperated and starving, the first Newfie digs into the sandwiches. Suddenly, the second Newfie pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I'm not freaking going!"
UNLEASH YOUR INNER JOLIE
Angelina Jolie has been called many names recently - except for the obvious: America's ultimate sex goddess.
Her rep as being the kind of gal who'll steal your husband (and probably discard him the next morning) and the gossip linking her to Brad Pitt only adds to her bad-girl allure.
"Angelina represents everything I love about women - beauty, giving, power, strength and sensuality - and she can kick ass!" says feisty Italian designer Donatella Versace.
"It's not her eyes or curves or lips that are sexy - it's her brain - which is her sexiest muscle."
Donatella isn't the only one who thinks so.
"A lot of women have girl crushes on Angelina," says MaryEllen Gordon, deputy editor (Style) at Glamour magazine.
"It's not sexual, it's aspirational. She intrigues us. She's got so much going on, and seems to manage it all without having to play by the rules."
Isaac Mizrahi has another perspective on the twice-married, currently single 29-year-old mom who looks as comfortable traipsing through a jungle as the U.N.'s goodwill ambassador as she does swanning down the red carpet.
"She's like a truck driver trapped in a sex symbol's body, which is what makes her so astonishing," says Mizrahi.
"There's something gritty about her, and she does a great job at being a bad girl."
"It's the marriage of her intense beauty and her seeming not to care what people think of her," says Mizrahi. "She lives her own life, a private life that she refuses to qualify."
You may not have those lips, that body, or even that style - but there are a few tricks all of us could use to release that inner Angelina.
Read the following and find out how.
- Look like you just had a romp
Whether it's been six minutes or six weeks, every woman has the ability to fake that dewy, post-sex afterglow.
"Even if you don't wear color cosmetics," says celebrity make-up artist Scott Barnes, "you can do something to improve the condition of your skin. Too many women just don't bother."
Though tousled hair can look clich‚d if it's not your usual style, nearly everyone looks good in Angelina's no-fail staple: smoky eyes.
"Smudge gray powder over your eyelids," Barnes says, "then apply liner and finish with mascara. This combination of products makes your eyes look wider and bigger.
- Put your lips to work
"Men always focus on a woman's lips. We look at them when you're talking, when you're eating," says Barnes, who admits he's never come across another woman with lips as mesmerizing as Angelina's.
Resist the urge to sign up for emergency collagen injections, he says, insisting no amount of cosmetic surgery can replicate Angelina's pillowy pout.
Instead, follow her lead and never wear lipstick. "She always goes for a lightly colored balm or a nude gloss. It will give your lips that slippery look men find irresistible."
But, you also have to know how to work those liquid lips.
"And Angelina knows how to do that. I see it in the way she smiles and how she bites on her lip - it always makes me suspect that she's thinking about sex, which, of course, makes me start thinking about sex."
- Be a woman of action
And not just between the sheets.
Angelina's got a pilot's license. She collects knives. She did many of her own stunts in "Tomb Raider," and as a result, suffered several injuries from torn ligaments in her ankle and burns from a chandelier.
While plenty of stars write charity checks, she's a serious activist who's traveled to Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Sri Lanka, Namibia and Chad as a goodwill ambassador to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.
- What she doesn't have is a diva attitude.
Marc Bouwer, who designed the white gown Angelina wore to the Oscars last year (without a date, by the way) says the star proved amazingly low-maintenance, especially by Hollywood standards.
"I was expecting the usual celebrity chaos," he says. "But there was no diva behavior - but the woman I meet was amazingly cool, calm and charming. She's so self-assured she doesn't even have handlers."
Fear stops people achieving most of the goals on their wish list, says self-help author Alison James. Before you can fly a plane, she says, you have to start by doing simple things outside your normal boundaries.
Learn to ride a motorcycle. Instead of a week at a Caribbean resort, go on a hiking, biking or camping trip in the mountains.
"Little things," James says, "will give you the confidence that you need to take bigger risks - the kind of risks that lead somewhere."
- Bone up on your flirting skills
Why do men seem to cling to Angelina? She lets them. Watch her body language. She's as easy about touching people as she is being touched and that's a turn-on.
Body language that even hints a woman is uncomfortable - with herself or the man she's accompanying - is a turn-off.
"That includes hunching your shoulders and covering up your body with your arms," says Barnes. "It's uninviting on every level, but it certainly doesn't make a man think he's with a woman who is at ease with him."
- Lob a subtle bomb
Angelina and Billy Bob had the walls of a room in their Los Angeles home padded, specifically so their lusty smackdowns wouldn't land them in the ER. Or did they?
All that really matters is that they said they did.
You don't have to create a sex asylum in your apartment, but as an aspiring goddess, you must realize how to enhance your appeal with the power of suggestion.
Maybe you had an affair with your female college roommate. Maybe you are a member of the Mile High Club. Maybe that bruise on your arm is from having "a little too much fun with a fireman last night."
Or maybe not. If you properly channel Angelina and think positively, by the time he finds out, he won't care.
- Get a 'disposable boyfriend'
Cancel the highlighting appointment and book a room in the Mercer instead.
"Meeting a man in a hotel room for a few hours, and then going back and putting my son to bed and not seeing that man again for a few months is about what I can handle now," Angelina recently told The Post.
It's a quote worth framing and mounting on the wall.
"It's sexy to know that she's the kind of girl who doesn't care about mussing her hair up in the middle of the afternoon," says Glamour's MaryEllen Gordon. "And her candor adds to her allure."
Instead of devoting so much of free time to self-enhancement, take a "disposable boyfriend." That's the term for a "guy you usually say you won't go out with - because you know he's not the one," explains Alison James, author of a new book, "The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35."
And don't underestimate the benefits of dating guys you're not planning to marry - Angelina, who says she doubts she'll ever remarrry, has a steady stream of them.
"You'll be amazed at how much fun you can have," James says.
- Ditch the Park Avenue princess look
Unlike most women in the 10021 zip code, Angelina never looks like she clocked too many hours at the Elizabeth Arden salon.
And let's be honest: That head-to-toe polish that's considered so chic on the Upper East Side can leave the impression you're a little chilly between the sheets.
Ditto, the contrived "I'm sexy," look of wearing a black lacy bra under a tight white shirt.
Instead of giving your look some unexpected edge, this combo has become such a popular date-night uniform, it's now an instant telltale sign that you're concerned you're a tad too uptight.
Wannabe-sex-goddesses who try too hard are setting themselves up for failure.
The trick, after all, is to look as if you didn't spend a ridiculous amount of time getting dressed.
If Angelina's penchant for the tattoos aren't your thing - but you still want that bisexual biker-girl vibe - try wearing leather pants.
But be sure to go for feather-light leather and not the cheaper, chunkier type that inevitably makes your butt look twice its natural size.
Quirky accessories are another option, but remember the floral brooch is passe.
Think more along the lines of a killer pair of stilettos, racy fishnets or a funky newsboy cap - but choose just one. Piling on too many accessories leaves you looking like a hooker. You're trying to give the impression that you can be playful and fun - not that you are a high-maintenance, obsessive-compulsive shop-a-holic with a Barneys dependency habit.
Hot new CD releases for spring
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the deep-freeze will continue with little relief in sight.
And we're not talking about the Farmers' Almanac's prediction that penguins will be carpooling their way up here in the coming weeks -- we're talking about the new releases in the music world.
By all accounts, we still have another couple of chilly months ahead of us, with only a handful of hot discs to help with the thaw in the next month.
Keep in mind, thanks to the production difficulties/the Internet/acts of God/etc. all dates are tentative, which may mean we'll have to wait even longer for some respite.
The first taste of sort-of big-name releases comes Jan. 25 when you can expect the Chemical Brothers' new disc Push the Button, as well as the latest studio release from all-growed-up country star LeAnn Rimes titled This Woman.
The following week, Motley Crue fans can come out of the closet and enjoy the band's two-disc retrospective Red, White and Crue.
On Feb. 8 some Cancon comes down the pipe -- crooner Michael Buble releases It's Time and Alberta-based cowboy legend Ian Tyson drops Songs from the Gravel Road.
Fans of new country might want to spend their money on Be As You Are, the hotly anticipated new album from Kenny Chesney, which also hits stores that day.
The mid part of the month proves relatively dry -- save. maybe for a new Goldfinger CD Feb. 15 -- with the next big name stepping out Feb. 22.
That's when Tori Amos returns with The Beekeeper. Southern alt rock darlings the Kings of Leon also release the followup to their critically salivated over debut Youth and Young Manhood with Aha Shake Heartbreak.
On the oh-so-incredibly tentative side of things, hip hop hotshot Kanye West is also listed as maybe having something new before February closes.
On March 1, the floodgates temporarily open for new albums from The Doves, Judas Priest, Mars Volta, Jack Johnson and the artist formerly known as J. Lo, Jennifer Lopez.
If that's not enough we're being teased with the possibility of another Black Eyed Peas effort that same day.
The following week sees the release of albums by two artists that could not be more disparate -- The Backstreet Boys and 50 Cent.
No word yet on what the Boys will be calling their next masterpiece, but Fitty's is titled, presumably, what he'd do to them if they were ever in the same room -- The Massacre.
Other than a new one from Moby, March 22 proves to be a great week for hard-rock music fans with System of a Down and Queens of the Stone Age both set to make some noise.
March 29 is a banner day for fans of Britpop old and new.
On the veteran side of things, New Order has an album ready, and for the newbies, Coldplay will look to lull the world into submission with the as-yet untitled followup to the 2002 phenom A Rush Of Blood To The Head.
Also look for new ones from Daft Punk, Faith Evans, Chingy and Trace Adkins that week.
Before the end of the month you may also expect a new studio album from Beck, Mariah Carey and a pair of hometown superstars -- Jann Arden and Terri Clark, who both have new discs ready for release.
And finally, taking us to spring -- when the real thaw, both musically and environmentally, should take place -- look for new April and May albums from OutKast, Sloan, Treble Charger, White Stripes, Sheryl Crow, Bon Jovi, Gorillaz and Garbage, to name but a few.
The Rest ... Here are some more artists releasing albums in the coming months: Vanessa Williams, Low, John Frusciante, Marianne Faithfull, Alex Lloyd, Erasure, The Devlins (Jan. 25); Ed Harcourt, Liam Titcomb, Youngbloodz, Los Lobos (Feb. 1); Brian McKnight, 3 Doors Down, Jamiroquai (Feb. 8); John Hammond, Al Green (Feb. 15); Iron & Wine, Jim White, (Feb. 22); Joshua Redman (March 1); Ash, Amanda Stott (March 8); The Soundtrack of Our Lives, Natalie Imbruglia, (March 15); Fat Joe, Tweet (March 22); Esthero, American Hi-Fi, New Order (March 29); Hot Hot Heat, Missy Elliot, Lisa Marie Presley, Shelby Lynn, Beth Orton, Babyface, Clay Aiken (April/May)
The Vinyl Countdown
By JOHN KRYK -- Toronto Sun
I miss the album-listening experience. If you're over age 30, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're under 30, you probably think I'm from another ice age. Or another planet.
This month marks the quarter-century passing of the heyday of the 12 1/4-inch x 12 1/4-inch vinyl album -- the '70s. (Cue: Funeral For A Friend.)
For me, and I suspect for tens of thousands of Sun readers, spinning a new album on the turntable and gawking at all corners of its dazzling, shiny, pristine, cardboard cover (and, if you were lucky, the paper sleeve, too) were inseparable experiences. Listening and looking. Couldn't do one without the other.
I understand and appreciate the advantages of compact discs: Better portability, better durability, no crackles and pops, and they take up less storage space.
But when I sit down to listen to a new CD, I get fidgety. I find it harder nowadays to concentrate on the music. I think it's because in order to read something about the album, or scan the lyrics (if they aren't redirecting me online to get them), I have to struggle to pull out (from the inside flap of the plastic, soon-to-crack-and-bust-at-the-hinges CD case) some 10-times-folded little accordion-like paper insert -- which I can never seem to fold properly again. And I have to squint to read or scan anything on it, even though I am not far-sighted. So I look around and get distracted.
You'd think that selling music in big honkin' packages would be in vogue today -- to placate the more visually dependent plasma/PS2 generation. But no.
With few exceptions, I stopped buying new albums in the mid-1980s. It was my way of mourning the demise of such wonderful things in music as the acoustic guitar. It's only now that I realize that the phasing out of the vinyl album itself played a large role in that decision, too.
Today's young music buyers don't know what they're missing. Maybe this will help. Here are 12 1/4 things we miss about vinyl records:
1. THE SMELL AND feel of a new LP. Pristine. Not a scratch on it. And, if it came in a plastic sleeve, static cling galore. Priceless.
2. TWO SIDES TO every record. Wasn't it cool the way Emerson, Lake & Palmer's Brain Salad Surgery LP faded out at the end of Side 1, then once you flipped it over and dropped the needle back on, Side 2 began with the same music fading right back in with "Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends..."? Most bands in the '60s and '70s put a lot of thought into sequencing and double-grouping the songs on their albums. That art is long gone. Many bands began Side 2 with the second-best song on the album, but now it's just a middle-of-the-pack song on CD. Makes you wonder how drastically songlists on old albums would have changed if there were only one side back then, as now.
3. FOLDING OUT A double-album cover and staring at it for hours on end as you listened to the record. It was like opening up a pizza box on your lap, without the grease stain. But, oh, what a sight to devour. Some double albums folded out twice, such as Woodstock. How many albums did we buy as much for the album cover as for the music? And who ever does that with CDs?
4. ALBUM-COVER gimmicks. There was no end to the creative things bands and labels did with album covers. Led Zeppelin spent a small fortune on theirs. Physical Graffiti had mini album covers for its two LPs instead of paper sleeves; and In Through The Out Door came in a sealed brown paper bag so you wouldn't know which of the six versions of the bar-scene cover photo you got. The Stones even had a real working zipper sewed into their crotch-shot Sticky Fingers cover. Thank The Beatles for all that. Their Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album (1967) was not only the first album to have lyrics printed on the back, but the first with gimmicky extras such as colour photos or paper cutouts.
5. ATTEMPTING TO unravel the deep mysteries contained in the artwork or lyrics. What messages were the bands trying to secretly pass along? Was it code for something? Was Paul really dead? Half the time, I felt like I must have been the only one who wasn't getting the point. Or the joke. Damn you, King Crimson!
6. THE ABILITY TO play a record backward. Try doing THAT on your CD player or iPod. If you couldn't decipher hidden messages from the artwork, surely there had to be something else imbedded in the music. Sometimes you'd swear there was. All would be revealed if you spun the record counter-clockwise on your turntable -- once you removed the elastic band from the around the drum, of course. The gibberish at the end of Glass Onion on The Beatles' White Album does indeed sound like Lennon is mumbling, "Paul is dead, man -- Miss him, Miss him, Miss him."
7. THE RIDDLE wrapped in a mystery inside in an enigma: How do you properly clean dust off an album? Do you press the brush harder, or does that scratch it? A friend once suggested that the best way was to spin the album on a pencil in a sink of soapy, warm water. Tried it. Big mistake. Ruined my Rolling Stones Hot Rocks best-of double album. I never figured this one out.
8. ARTISTS STANDING up for their art. Before the '80s, artists put as much thought into the artwork adorning their album covers as they do now on music videos. And they defended it vigorously, against critics and label bigwigs alike. The Stones delayed for almost five months the release of their 1968 killer album Beggars Banquet because their label, Decca, refused to release the album with the picture of a dirty old gas-station toilet on the front. Decca won that battle, issuing Beggars Banquet instead in all-white front and back, but the Stones won the war two years later, when they concluded the terms of their Decca contract by leaving the boss with one last single, the unreleasable C***sucker Blues.
9. RARE COLLECTIBLES. Rare versions and recalled pressings of LPs back in the '60s created the very bootleg market we know and love today. Famous ones include the original cover of The Beatles' Yesterday And Today album (1966), in which the Fab Four were adorned variously with chunks of raw butcher's meat and baby-doll body parts. Yes, that was quickly recalled and replaced.
10. GOD BLESS THE guy who discovered that plastic milk crates -- the ones in which you still find bagged milk at grocery stores -- were perfectly sized holding containers for LPs. Getting the stores to, uh, part with them was the difficult part. Sorry, Sealtest.
11. FLIPPING THROUGH records at the music store. I used to love just flipping records from the front of the bin to the back, row after row. Who does that now with CDs? What's more, when record stores made the transition from stocking vinyl to CDs, they somehow lost the ability to alphabetize them properly. It's a simple concept. A before B, etc., but I find it a lot harder nowadays to locate my favourite music.
12. THE SOUND OF unspoiled vinyl. It beats CD, period. I am one of those people, such as Neil Young and Lenny Kravitz, who swears he can hear more warmth, more depth -- more crispness -- from a song pressed on vinyl compared to that on digital compact disc, even a specially remastered CD. When I've got the headphones on, I love being able to "locate" the various instruments: The organ is up there to the left, the electric guitar's over there, the bass and drums are way down here, the piano is over there to the right, and the vocals pierce right through the middle. I find it harder to do that when listening to a CD. Everything sounds somehow muted and muddy (hello hello, U2). Maybe it's just the way they produce and mix albums now. I'm pretty sure that's why Kravitz always records his albums in old studios with vacuum-tube recording devices; he feels something sonically gets lost in the digital process.
1/4. SINGLES. DON'T forget that "45s" came in their own paper sleeves that sometimes were no less visually dazzling than the LP they came from.
Paul Giamatti will host ''SNL'' on Jan. 22.
Golden Globe nominee Paul Giamatti isn't exactly a household name, but the folks at NBC think he's famous enough to host Saturday Night Live. He'll emcee on January 22, when the musical guest will be Ludacris, backed by (of all people) pop-punkers Sum 41.
Giamatti has had starring roles in movies before (notably, 2003's indie hit American Splendor), but he's still probably best known for playing Howard Stern nemesis ''Pig Vomit'' eight years ago in Private Parts. That seems to be changing, however, with the growing popularity and awards-season kudos for Sideways. ''This movie has caught on way more than I expected. I'm comfortable in my life, and I'm just a little worried about not being comfortable anymore,'' Giamatti told England's Guardian this week. He says people come up to him now on the street and blurt out a signature line of his Sideways wine snob Miles: ''I am NOT drinkin' any f---in' MERLOT!''
''All of a sudden it's more intense on the press line and it kind of bums me out. It definitely seems like there's more crazy — crazier — people coming up to me and saying, 'My friend made a tape of his fish singing and, dude, you gotta listen to it.' Crazy f---er last night gave me his chatline number: 'You gotta call me, man!' Some woman came up to me after the Critics' Choice awards and gave me cookies, talking all this crazy s--- about birds and flowers, and it was creepy. And me, I like crazy people, but I like being able to study them from a distance.''
Garbage Survive "Bleed"
Early into Garbage's recording of their fourth album, Bleed Like Me, due April 12th, long-simmering tensions in the band got bad -- very bad.
"I would go to the studio with a sick feeling in my stomach," says drummer/producer Butch Vig. "And I could tell everybody was feeling that way."
But after quitting the band for almost four months, Vig returned to resurrect the project. "It's like we'd been married for ten years," he says, "and it was worth it to try one more time."
"It took us a while to all get on the same page," says singer Shirley Manson. "It's just the nature of human beings: You just want to do your own thing after a while, but you're bound together as a band -- sort of like Siamese twins."
The fruits of their labor are eleven tracks of raw, guitar-heavy pop with dark, biting lyrics, accented by Garbage's signature electronic effects. "Metal Heart," a political rant shrouded in layers of violin samples and techno beats, was inspired by the hype surrounding the war in Iraq. "You just start questioning everything after a while," Manson says. "You can't believe a fuckin' damn thing you see or hear. I got to the point where I felt like a real paranoid liberal."
Other highlights include "Run Baby Run," which has tender, dreamy verses that call to mind the Cure's "Just Like Heaven," and "Bad Boyfriend," featuring Foo Fighters frontman (and ex-Nirvana drummer) Dave Grohl on the kit. "He was sitting there pounding the song out with a shit-eating grin on his face," says Vig, who famously produced Nirvana's 1991 breakthrough, Nevermind. "It was fuckin' great!"