The Couch Potato Report - July 27th, 2004
This week in The Couch Potato Report a good movie based on a comic book and a really bad film based on a film.
BATMAN. SPIDER-MAN. DAREDEVIL. THE PUNISHER. THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN. BLADE. CATWOMAN. THE CROW. THE ROAD TO PERDITION. HULK. MEN IN BLACK. SUPERMAN. X-MEN. HOWARD THE DUCK.
The list of movies made from comic books is long.
The list of good movies made from comic books is much shorter.
I am happy to report that the "good" list is now one longer due to the inclusion of the film HELLBOY.
In the comic book, and movie, HELLBOY is the son of Satan. He is summoned to earth by a fictional version of the Russian Mystic Grigori Rasputin. Rasputin is working for the Nazis during the second World War.
When he is first introduced HELLBOY isn't a menacing devil, but rather a toddler-like creature with red skin, horns, a tail, and a large stone right hand.
Raised by the U.S. Military, Hellboy becomes the primary agent for the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defence, alongside several other superhuman agents, in the fight to save humanity.
HELLBOY is an exciting action-packed movie. The story and action are fast-paced and completely engaging. There are colourful characters, witty humor, thrilling action sequences and eye-popping special effects and Ron Perlman from TV's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST is well cast in the lead role.
All that said, if you don't like movies based on comic books, you're not going to like this movie. In the end, it's a good film for those who likes films like this, but it doesn't rise above its pedigree the way that the X-MEN and SPIDER-MAN films have.
Still, those of us who are fans of movies based on comic books can easily add HELLBOY to the list of good movies made from comic books.
There's another new release this week that is primarily for fans only. That release is the 4-disc box set for SLEDGE HAMMER!
SLDEGE HAMMER was a television show that ran from 1986 to 1988. It was a TV cop show parody that wanted to be a cross between the DIRTY HARRY films and the classic series GET SMART.
While it didn't always achieve the quality of those two franchises, from time to time it was the funniest thing on TV.
This new DVD box set features all 22 episodes from Season One of SLEDGE HAMMER!, including the unaired pilot. There is also a commentary from creator Alan Spencer; a new 32-minute documentary on the series called "Go Ahead, Make Me Laugh." That documentary features new interviews with the cast and crew of the series.
SLEDGE HAMMER! wasn't a series for everyone, and this new box set isn't either. But if you remember the show fondly, you'll understand my review even more when I say "Trust me, I know what I'm doing!"
I'm sure that the actors, cast, crew, writer and director knew what they were doing when they were making the film THE WHOLE TEN YARDS.
They knew they should just take the money and run!
Take the money and run away, as far away as possible, from this horrible, horrible film.
When THE WHOLE NINE YARDS came out in the year 2000 it featured TV FRIEND Matthew Perry as a mild-mannered Montreal dentist whose new next-door neighbor just happened to be a notorious mob hit man out on parole.
Bruce Willis from the DIE HARD films played the hit man, and his chemistry with Perry along with the work of actresses Amanda Peet and Natasha Henstridge and the rest of the film's cast made THE WHOLE NINE YARDS a very funny, enjoyable film.
So enjoyable in fact, that when I heard they were making a sequel, I was actually looking forward to it.
Boy was I disappointed. Boy am I still disappointed!!
THE WHOLE TEN YARDS is so bad, so awful, that it is a total and complete waste of your time. I'd skip it altogether on The Couch Potato Report, but I want to make sure you to hear just how bad it is so you don't waste your time, like I did.
Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Natasha Henstridge and Amanda Peet should all have to do hours and hours of community service to make up for how bad this thing is!
The story is uninteresting, the actors look bored and I can't even be bothered to say anything else about it.
Except that I hate ending this week's Report on such a negative, so let me say something positive about THE WHOLE TEN YARDS and be done with it.
Ummm..okay, I got it. Here is the positive: actress Natasha Henstridge, who was born in Springdale, Newfoundland, and raised in Fort McMurray, Alberta, looks amazing in the film. She doesn't have anything to do and seems completely bored in the picture, but she looks amazing.
There. That's a positive note to end on.
HELLBOY, SLEDGE HAMMER! * SEASON ONE and THE WHOLE TEN YARDS are all available now at your favourite local video store.
COMING UP IN THE NEXT COUCH POTATO REPORT
HIDALGO is about a man and his horse that compete in a grueling desert race. The film stars Viggo Mortensen from THE LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy AND the legendary Omar Sharif from Dr. Zhivago. If you don't expect very much going in, you might enjoy it. MIGHT enjoy it.
You also MIGHT enjoy 13 GOING ON 30. This female version of the role reversal premise perfected in the movie BIG features the incredible Jennifer Garner from TV's ALIAS as an awkward teen who skips her adolescent years. With a little help from movie magic, she begins life again at 30.
Garner is perky, fun, and even epervescent in the film, but the film itself is none of those things. It's entertaining enough, but it just wasn't any fun.
I'll have more on 13 GOING ON 30, HIDALGO and some other releases in seven days.
For now, that's this week's COUCH POTATO REPORT.
Enjoy the movies and I'll see you back here next week on The Couch!
Michael Moore plans next movie
What do you do to follow up a project that's the most successful movie of its kind ever made, having earned $100 million and counting? If you're documentarian Michael Moore, you go to the hospital. According to the Associated Press, Moore now has a title for his next work-in-progress, an exposé of health maintenance organizations (HMOs) and other health care woes called ''Sicko.'' Thanks to the runaway success of ''Fahrenheit 9/11,'' he's also having a much easier time raising production money than ever before.
Even if ''Fahrenheit'' hadn't been a hit, however, he'd have gone ahead with ''Sicko'' just the same. ''I've never let that get in the way, anyway," Moore said of the difficulty of getting documentaries financed. ''Even if this movie hadn't done as well, that movie was going to get made, because I think the American people are clamoring to see the HMOs punished.''
''Sicko'' will mark a return to the guerrilla-theater stunts that first made Moore famous, in movies like ''Roger & Me'' and his TV series ''The Awful Truth'' and ''TV Nation.'' The idea comes from an ''Awful Truth'' segment in which Moore staged a mock funeral at an HMO that had refused to pay for an organ transplant a man needed to survive. The shamed HMO ended up funding the operation after all.
In a recent EW cover story, Moore described how he'll adapt that segment to the big screen. ''I go after these HMOs and these pharmaceutical companies. The style of the film is like 'Run Lola Run,''' he said. ''I don't know if I can run that fast for hours, but I just thought, What if we were just relentless motherf---ers, because I can't think of anything more evil than these HMOs. We try to see how many lives we can save in 90 minutes.''
Kim Mitchell joins Toronto FM station
Rocker Kim Mitchell is becoming a disc jockey at a Toronto radio station.
The classic rock station Q107 announced yesterday Mitchell will be the new afternoon drive radio host beginning August 9.
Mitchell was in the studio as morning host John Derringer announced the news and he told listeners he's excited about the possibilities. He'll be heard weekdays between 2 p.m. and 7 live from the studio at the Hard Rock Café, by Dundas Square. The station plans to celebrate his arrival with a special edition of their monthly "Breakfast With Derringer" live broadcast on Aug. 27.
"I'm looking forward to bringing my experience as a musician, artist and entertainer to the microphone at Q107," Mitchell says on the station's website. "I am rocked and ready, let's go!"
The Peterborough native began his career as singer-guitarist in Max Webster. His later solo work during the early 1980s included songs like "Patio Lanterns", "Go For A Soda", and "Rock And Roll Duty".
Billy Idol plots concerts as work continues on new album
With work still underway on his first new studio set in more than a decade, Billy Idol has lined up a handful of live performances.
The spiky-haired rocker has nailed down four mid-September shows so far, all of which are set in the West, and plans to add a few more dates to the run, according to organizers. Details are shown below.
Idol and longtime guitarist Steve Stevens continue to work on an album that will be Idol's first collection of new material since 1993's "Cyberpunk." The two recently teamed with veteran A&R man John Kalodner, who has played a key role in fostering the careers of rock acts such as Aerosmith and Bon Jovi.
Though no release date is set, Kalodner, in a message posted at his website, said that the album probably will surface "in winter or spring of 2005."
"The style will be classic Billy Idol hit songs," Kalodner wrote. "He invented an amazing style and he's sticking to it."
In 2001, Idol released a greatest-hits collection, which moved about 500,000 copies in the states. The CD version of his VH1 "Storytellers" appearance with Stevens followed in 2002.
Idol rose to stardom during the '80s thanks to hits such as "White Wedding," "Rebel Yell," "Dancing with Myself" and "Cradle of Love," among others.
'Simpsons' Tackles Homersexual Marriage
LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) First, Homer Simpson learned to respect homosexuals after gay antique dealer John (voiced by John Waters) saved him from a herd of angry reindeer in "Homer's Phobia." Then, in "Three Gays of the Condo," Homer moved to Springfield's gay neighborhood, moved in with a pair of flamboyant housemates and even enjoyed a same-sex smooch. Homer's ties to the gay community will get even tighter this coming season.
Over the weekend, fanatics flocked to a panel at San Diego's Comic-Con convention hoping to get information about the upcoming season of "The Simpsons" and got an earful about the latest scandal to hit Springfield.
"We have a show where, to raise money, Springfield legalizes gay marriage," producer Al Jean told clamoring fans. "Homer becomes a minister by going on the Internet and filling out a form. A longtime character comes out of the closet, but I'm not saying who."
Instantly, speculation has centered on the possibility that Waylon Smithers is the most likely candidate for outing, but is Smithers really in the closet? The musical loving, Malibu Stacy collecting, bootlicking Smithers has made his intentions clear to his employer, Montgomery Burns, on numerous occasions.
On the other hand, the show has gone to occasional lengths to obfuscate Smithers' sexual identity. In "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular," Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast sent in a presumably fake letter asking what the "real deal" with Waylon Smithers was.
After a series of clips of Smithers' homoerotic exchanges with Mr. Burns, noted actor Troy McClure declared, "As you can see, the real deal with Waylon Smithers is that he's Mr. Burns' assistant. He's in his early 40s, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield. Thanks for writing."
Will this episode find Lenny and Carl moving from platonic life partners to spouses? Will either Patty or Selma decide that they'll never meet a man who lives up to the standards set by MacGyver? Will Ms. Hoover and Ms. Krabappel find love? Will the Sea Captain return from a long voyage with a new First Mate?
"It's Homer," says Matt Groening. We think he's joking, but you won't know for sure until "The Simpsons" returns for its 16th season this fall.
R.E.M.'s In A 'New York' State Of Mind
The first single from R.E.M.'s next Warner Bros. album will be "Leaving New York," which is tentatively set for a Sept. 27 commercial release in the United Kingdom. A group spokesperson had no information regarding the single but confirms the as-yet-untitled album will arrive Oct. 5 in North America.
It will be the follow-up to 2001's "Reveal," which debuted at No. 6 on The Billboard 200 and has sold 411,000 copies in the United States, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Among the other tracks being eyed for the new release are "Wanderlust" and "I'm Gonna DJ."
The song "Final Straw," which was previously released online and debuted during R.E.M.'s 2003 tour, will appear on the "Future Soundtrack of America" compilation, due Aug. 17 via Barsuk Records.
R.E.M. is planning a fall tour in support of the new disc, which is expected to encompass some concerts in swing states in the run-up to the U.S. presidential election.
As previously reported, R.E.M. guitarist Peter Buck can also be heard guesting on Irish rock act the Thrills' new album, "Let's Bottle Bohemia," due Sept. 14 via Virgin.
Sopranos creator can take his time on Season 6, HBO chairman says
NEW YORK (AP) - No Sopranos family members will be knocked off in 2005. That's because HBO has announced that the sixth and final season of the popular mob drama won't premiere until sometime in 2006.
"It's like the Harry Potter book," HBO chairman Chris Albrecht said last week. "You'll wait very long and be happy when you get it." The announcement was made during the Television Critics Association press tour in Los Angeles.
Albrecht said The Sopranos creator and executive producer David Chase can take all the time he needs to write, hinting the final season could become longer than the 10 episodes Chase committed to in January.
The Sopranos wrapped up its fifth season recently.
"Until the last episode of The Sopranos airs, I'm always hopeful," Albrecht said.
Other HBO shows that will live on include a fifth season of Larry David's comedy, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and sophomore seasons of the dark dramas Carnivale and Deadwood.
Report: No More Bond for Brosnan
NEW YORK - Pierce Brosnan appears to be turning in his license to kill, says Entertainment Weekly. "That's it," Brosnan told EW.com. "I've said all I've got to say on the world of James Bond."
In an interview on the magazine's Web site, posted Tuesday, the Irish-born actor said 2002's "Die Another Day" was his last mission on her majesty's secret service.
"Bond is another lifetime behind me," Brosnan said.
But the 51-year-old's statement might be a negotiating ploy. Original Bond Sean Connery quit for a whole movie before being lured back for bigger bucks. If true, England-based Eon Productions, which produces the Bond flicks, must find another star to carry 007's Walther PPK in the 21st Bond movie, scheduled for release next year.
Speculation surrounds Brits Clive Owen, Ioan Gruffudd, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Gerard Butler, Jude Law and Ewan McGregor, as well as Aussies Hugh Jackman, Heath Ledger and Eric Bana.
For Brosnan, playing Bond will always be a fond memory.
"We went out on a high," Brosnan said, "and I look back affectionately at that time and doing those four movies. But I've said all I gotta say on it."
Jay-Z Tops MTV Music Video Award Nominations
MIAMI (Reuters) - Rap artist Jay-Z tops the race for this year's MTV Video Music Awards with six nominations for his video "99 Problems."
The music television network said on Tuesday that R&B star Beyonce, pop-punkers No Doubt and hip-hop duo OutKast followed hot on Jay-Z's heels. Beyonce had four nominations for "Naughty Girl" and one for "Me, Myself and I." No Doubt had five for "It's My Life" and OutKast received five nods for "Hey Ya."
The 2004 MTV Video Music Awards will be broadcast live from Miami on Aug. 29, the first time the award show has taken place outside New York or Los Angeles in its 20-year history.
Dave Sirulnick, one of the show's two executive producers, said that, in another first for the show, the stars would not roll up to the red carpet at Miami's American Airlines Arena in the usual stretch limousines but on boats.
...Harry Potter 3 comes to Muggle-Vision
The third installment in the Potter series is coming to DVD in November from Warner Home Entertainment as a two-disc special edition of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Harry returns to a Hogwarts on high alert. The murderer Sirius Black has escaped and he seems to be heading towards the school in search of Harry. But a new professor who knew Harry’s parents knows that there is more to the escape and that the danger to Harry and Hogwarts is greater than anyone imagines.
No details are available on the features, but the disc will be available in separate fullscreen and anamorphic widescreen versions.
Both will arrive on November 23rd.