HAPPILY NEVER AFTER
December 31 - That's the expiration date oddsmakers are putting on Jennifer Lopez's surprise wedding to singer Marc Anthony.
Lopez and Anthony stunned the world - and, reportedly, their closest friends - by tying the knot on the grounds of her Hollywood estate on Saturday.
Ladbrokes, the British oddsmaker, is betting 3-to-1 that the union is kaput by year's end - and even people who get paid to keep marriages together say this one's in trouble.
"The rebounding - please!" says Catherine Burton, a marriage and family therapist who is working on a book called "Popular Delusions and the Madness of Fame."
"She rebounds very quickly and never gives herself the chance to understand what she's doing. It's an emotional Band-Aid, and you fall into the exact same pattern with the next person."
Burton - who thinks Lopez needs professional help - says she shows all the signs of classic love addiction.
"It's the belief that the right man can fill the loneliness and emptiness they feel," she explains. "The love addict tends to repeat a cycle, based in obsession and fantasy, that this person will fulfill those needs."
Lopez and Anthony have known each other for years - he dueted with her on "No Me Ames," a track from her 1999 album, "On the 6," and it was rumored that they dated briefly and remained friends throughout their earlier marriages.
Lopez has had two, so far. In 1997, she began a 13-month marriage to waiter and aspiring model Ojani Noa, who has since said she went cold on him as her star rose.
In September 2001, she tied the knot with backup dancer Cris Judd - for 10 months.
Unlike her last two husbands, Anthony clearly has his own identity and career - but that fact alone doesn't safeguard their marriage, say observers.
"It's clearly based on impulse and passion, and it's a disaster," Sharyn Wolf, marriage counselor and author of "How to Stay Lovers for Life."
"At the rate she's going, she's going to use up half of Hollywood by 2010."
Anthony has been married twice, too - to the same woman. He married former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres in Las Vegas in 2000, and after a brief separation, the couple, who have two young children, renewed their vows in a lavish ceremony in December 2002.
Wolf believes this union has a "bad karmic future" - after father-of-three Anthony got a quickie divorce, reportedly at Lopez's behest, last week in the Dominican Republic.
"Jennifer loves the high," she says. "But she doesn't love the work. I think the only way she can feel good about herself is if the person she's dating wants to marry her."
Famed divorce lawyer Raoul Felder says people like Lopez - who make similar mistakes over and over - keep him busy. "More power to her," says Felder, a fan. "This is what keeps divorce lawyers in business - this is better than the Magna Carta!"
Lopez and Anthony tied the knot in the backyard of her L.A. estate in front of about 40 guests, most of whom had been told to come over for a summer party.
The third-time bride surprised them all when she walk down the aisle in an off-the-shoulder, cream-color gown by Vera Wang, with a reported $5 million worth of jewelry. Anthony wore a matching cream-color suit. Latin pop star Ricky Martin reportedly performed at the reception.
P. Diddy - who shared a highly publicized two-year relationship with Lopez - took the news in stride.
"If she's in love with somebody and that makes her happy, I'm happy for her," he told "Access Hollywood," adding, "That's my girl for life."
"The one thing I love about Jennifer is she's doing it her way, the Frank Sinatra way," he says. "She's not playing by anybody else's rules, so she's doing what makes her happy and that's the beauty of it."
Cris Judd, meanwhile, said, "I wish her and Marc the best, and hey, if it's true to her heart, then by all means."
E!Online writer Ted Casablancas also had kind words, sort of. He registered gratitude that Lopez got hitched "quickly and expeditiously, so we didn't have to suffer."
He called Lopez "another Liz Taylor," adding, "even Liz says, 'I was misguided - I thought I had to marry every guy instead of just having affairs with them.' I think Lopez just really wants to be married. Maybe Marc's the one - but I'd be stunned."
And if he isn't? Peggy Kennedy, editor-in-chief of Elegant Bride, has some practical advice:
"Next time, skip the white dress and go for color. Maybe go shorter, skip the veil - how many times can you be a virgin? - and be a little more relaxed with the hair. It seems like whenever it's in an upsweep, it's time to get married."
Three Plus Four Equals Two New Seasons of 'Coupling'
LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - For those with BBC America on their cable systems, the fourth season of the BBC's saucy romantic comedy "Coupling" just launched on Sunday, June 6, at 9 p.m. ET. For the rest, the third season was released on DVD by BBC Video on June 1.
Star Ben Miles, who plays the womanizing Patrick Maitland, is busy looking for ways to spend his "Coupling" cash.
"I'm just browsing e-Bay," he says, calling in from the U.K., "and thinking I should be doing something more useful."
Last fall, NBC tried to launch its own version of the show -- which charts the interlocking lives and loves of six sex-obsessed thirtysomethings -- which landed with a resounding splat and was quickly yanked from its coveted slot on the network's Thursday-night schedule.
Apparently this hasn't hurt writer Steven Moffat's original version on the BBC.
"It's not so much a monster hit," Miles says. "It's kind of a small beast. It's going from strength to strength. It's strange, but the last time it aired, they repeated all three seasons, and we got more recognition for that than we have over the whole four years it's been on TV.
"It's been a slow burn, 'Coupling,' and everybody knows about it and likes it."
He thinks the failure of the American version may have benefited its predecessor.
"Once people got to hear about the American version not working," Miles says, "some sense of pride in their own product came from somewhere. People started to like it who maybe weren't so sure about it before. But those poor guys -- I saw a documentary on it, and they were just under the screw from day one. It was a high-pressure situation."
The beginning of season four (or series four, as it's called in the U.K.) finds confirmed commitment-phobe Patrick in a serious relationship with confirmed neurotic Sally (Kate Isitt).
"Patrick matures [this year]," Miles says. "He can't get any less mature. His story is, he's struggling with the idea of monogamy. He's struggling with what it's like to be in a relationship with one person.
"And it's with Sally, the maddest of all people, the most insane, insecure, neurotic person you'd ever hope to meet. But she's mad enough to get Patrick, and Patrick is mad enough to get Sally. So, this series is really about Patrick struggling to find the right tools for the job, the right emotional equipment ..."
But, fans might say, according to Patrick's ex-girlfriend Susan (Sarah Alexander) -- who described him to Sally as "a tripod" -- Patrick has all the equipment he requires.
"Yeah, he does," Miles says, "in that department, and he thinks that's all he needs. But Sally keeps pestering him and telling him he needs to talk and tell her what he thinks - you know, your average male blindness. So he's becoming sort of a 20th Century person."
That's good, considering it's the 21st Century.
"Give him a chance!" Miles says. "He's only just started. A few more seasons, he might be in the 21st Century. The show is written really nicely for me and Kate. There are a lot of situations based on that very simple comic line of, this is unfamiliar territory to them. How do people do this -- particularly these two people."
Of course, playing Patrick in earlier seasons as a man about town did allow Miles to live out a male fantasy -- and it appears that has not come to a screeching halt.
"Series four started," he recalls, "our first day of filming, I was driving a brand-new BMW convertible, very quickly, down a runway, in an homage to 'The Prisoner.' They had me speeding up and down this runway all day, and I thought, 'This is one of the reasons I took this job. It's just superb.'
"And then the afternoon was spent at a carwash surrounded by girls dressed either as policewomen or nurses. So it was a better than average day at the office."
Asked if he feels the need to live up to Patrick's example, Miles laughs. "If I did live up to Patrick's social life, I would probably be in bed right now. No, my social life is very different from Patrick's, but it's a delight to be able to dip into that world via the mad scripts of Steven Moffat."
Miles has also learned a little something from his alter ego. "I've learned to be aware when I'm about to engage my mouth without putting my brain in gear. It helps to do both, but Patrick is so good at just opening his mouth and talking stuff that gets him into trouble.
"But maybe it's a bit of what you should to in this so-P.C. world. Patrick is a little bit of a hero to most men in a small way, because he's still flying the flag of ignorance and belligerence -- and enjoying himself."
For the DVD, Miles and his fellow cast members recorded audio commentaries.
"God knows who's going to find it interesting," he says. "It's just us sitting in a booth, looking at ourselves, telling each other how good we think we are. It's a crazy existence.
"Then you forget you're on mike, and it's going out to the world, you have a chat about things, talk about stuff completely unrelated to 'Coupling,' what you're going to have for lunch.
"What people will get from that other than the fact that we're a bunch of self-interested narcissists, I don't know, but it was fun."
For a reunited Van Halen, there's no turning back
Van Halen's implosion, fed by bad blood and a cancer crisis, stalled the career of a band as famous for its internal discord as its rock-metal harmony.
Now Van Halen is back to finish what it started. Friday, singer Sammy Hagar, guitarist Eddie Van Halen, drummer Alex Van Halen and bassist Michael Anthony will reunite onstage in Greensboro, N.C., first stop on a blockbuster summer tour.
"It's shaping up as one of the top tours of the year," says Ray Waddell of Billboard. "Tickets blew out very quickly. The band had very hard-core fans at their peak, and there's a real thirst to hear those songs again. Plus, there's a strong curiosity factor about Eddie."
Two years ago, fans were losing faith. The band remained idle after firing Gary Cherone, the voice on 1998's poorly received Van Halen III. Eddie was in isolation battling tongue cancer. Hagar and original frontman David Lee Roth, both on the outs with Van Halen and barely civil to each other, launched the gimmicky Sam & Dave tour. A reunion seemed unthinkable.
Then, in mid-2002, Eddie announced he was cancer-free after two years of treatment. Last winter, Hagar initiated casual chats with Alex and Anthony.
"We didn't plan this," Hagar says. "I called Al about a dream I had, strictly personal. It had been seven years, and we just started laughing. He said, 'Let's get Ed on the phone.' Then I'm talking to Ed, who says, 'Come on over; I've got some music I want you to hear.' Next thing I know, we're in the studio."
Alex adds, "It's like an old shoe. It fit. It's what we were born to do."
Spanning three decades, the set list boast three new songs and hits predating Hagar, who no longer balks at taking on Roth's role.
"In the old days, I had a bug up my butt about doing their early hits," Hagar says. "I was more interested in doing what we'd just written. This time, I was the first one to say, 'Let's open with Jump.' It's one of the most important songs in the band's career, and I love singing it now.
"It's a humbling experience the second time around, and I have a new appreciation for the band's history. There's not a better catalog on the planet."
Here's your host, Conan O'Brien
Lion's Gate Entertainment has two DVDs lined up from the archives of Late Night with Conan O'Brien.
The first is last September's "10th Anniversary Special", which will include the primetime program as well as a multitude of bonus features including extra comedy and guest footage, bonus remotes, a behind-the-scenes photo gallery, and some hidden Easter Eggs.
The second is the long awaited "The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog", which is a compilation of Triumph's best "poopings" since his debut in 1997. The hour long main program will be supplemented by over 90 minutes of additional footage, including all of the favorite appearances as well as never-before-seen outtakes and his "I Keed" music video.
Both DVDs will be available on August 10th.
Beatles Said to Be in Online Song Licensing Talks
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Representatives of the Beatles are in discussions with various online music services about licensing their songs for distribution on the Internet, people familiar with the discussions said on Tuesday.
The Beatles have been one of the biggest holdouts in releasing their catalog for sale online, and the lack of such mega-hits as "Let it Be" and "Yesterday" has been cited as a major weakness for fledgling, Web-based music stores.
Negotiators for the Beatles have talked with several companies, with a particular emphasis on Microsoft Corp's MSN, which is expected to open an Internet music store late this summer, people familiar with the talks told Reuters.
"MSN is working very closely with the music industry to build a top-quality music service for consumers, which includes providing a wide selection of music, but has nothing specific to announce at this time," said a Microsoft spokesman.
The discussions by the legendary group were first reported by CNET on Tuesday.
Sources familiar with the matter said the current round of talks is being steered by the Beatles' representatives rather than their record label, EMI Group Plc.
Representatives of the band's two surviving members, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, could not be immediately reached for comment.
EMI owns the Beatles' master recordings and would be involved in any final agreement, the sources said. The label has been trying to urge the Beatles for years to grant permission to distribute their songs online.
"We think it would be great if the Beatles decided to make their music available on legitimate music services," said EMI spokeswoman Jeanne Meyer.
One person familiar with the discussions said he was optimistic that some deal could be reached by September.
"This would be a big deal because they have been one of the preeminent major holdouts in terms of licensing their digital rights," said veteran entertainment lawyer Jay Cooper. "In the past year, various major artists are starting to put their toe in the water."
Various services from RealNetworks' Rhapsody to Apple Computer Inc.'s iTunes to Roxio Inc.'s Napster would all jump at the chance to distribute The Beatles, who broke up over 30 years ago, analysts said.
"We've always been confident that artists would see digital music as a must-have platform. We're at the infancy stage of what will certainly be a booming business," said Evan Harrison, vice president and general manager of Time Warner Inc.'s AOL Music.
APPLE v. APPLE
Apple Computer, which launched its popular iTunes music store over a year ago, has been embroiled in a legal dispute with the management for the Beatles since September.
The Beatles, who formed similarly named London-based Apple Corps. in 1968 to manage its business interests and act as its music label, have accused the computer maker of violating a 1991 agreement specifying it could use the Apple trademark for computer products only.
The Beatles management have said Apple Computer broke the agreement when it used the logo and trademark to promote its iTunes online music store, the most popular Internet download service in the world.
A London High Court judge in April struck down Apple's request to have the case heard by California courts. The computer maker argued the United States was the proper place for the hearing as this was where the original agreement between the two companies was struck.