The Couch Potato Report - May 25th, 2004
This week in The Couch Potato Report there's a classic book that's become a classic film and two comedies that just aren't funny.
Back in February an epic journey of a raggedy gang of humans, hobbits, wizards, dwarves and elves hoisted the fantasy genre to Oscar glory.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING won a record-tying 11 Oscars, sweeping every category in which it was nominated, including best picture.
Now, the third chapter in J.R.R. Tolkien's THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy is set to dominate DVD and video sales and rental charts the same way it did the Oscars.
And deservedly so as director Peter Jackson has once again created an awe-inspiring adaptation of the Tolkien classic.
I won't go into specific plot points as I suspect by now you are either very familiar with THE LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy, or you couldn't care less.
I will say this, THE RETURN OF THE KING is a majestic film on an epic scale which preserves the integrity of the trilogy to its conclusion.
The only disappointment I have regarding this initial DVD and video release of RETURN OF THE KING is that it is only the three hour and twenty minute theatrical version of the film.
With the other two LORD OF THE RINGS films the studio had to wait until a few months after the release of the theatrical edition before releasing the extended directors cuts.
The extended cuts served as a way to promote the impending release of the next chapter in the series.
Now that there is no impending release, they are making people wait until Christmas anyway in order to not cut into the sales of this theatrical version.
Personally, I am willing to wait until then, as Peter Jackson has said that almost an hour's worth of extra footage will make its way onto the extended DVD version.
Yes, I will voluntarily wait, but I'm disappointed that I have to.
There is nothing disappointing about the movie THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING, but the way it is being delivered to us fans is very disappointing.
Very disappointing are also the words I would use to describe Ray Romano's film WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT.
On TV everybody loves Raymond, myself included, as he is a hilarious performer.
I suspect few will like this movie about a plumber who runs for mayor against an ex-President. Gene Hackman plays the ex-president.
I went to see WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT in theatres when it came out expecting to laugh.
Unfortunately I didn't laugh at all.
A few weeks ago it was the film on the plane on my way back from vacation and I watched it again to see if I had missed a laugh or two.
Again, I didn't laugh once and I eventually fell asleep.
WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT is just a bland, uninteresting film.
You could, perhaps, get a kick out of it if you have no expectations and everything else has been rented, but even then I recommend that you skip WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT and just look for an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" on TV.
Trust me, you'll be better off.
The final new release this week is CLUB DREAD.
In this latest film from the comedy troop BROKEN LIZARD, who also gave us the hilarious SUPER TROOPERS, an inept staff at island resort must battle a killer.
This film doesn't know if it's a comedy, or a horror, a spoof of horror movies or what.
What's worse is that it is bad at trying to be any of them.
Here's my theory: A movie needs to be funny to qualify as a comedy, and this film is not funny. Not at all! It is extremely boring, and will be painful to watch for everyone who saw and enjoyed SUPER TROOPERS.
Am I sorry I saw it? No, I'm never sorry I see any movie I'm interested in seeing, especially any movie with Brittany Daniel in it.
Will you be sorry, well why don't you erase that as a possibility by either checking out SUPER TROOPERS or just look for an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" on TV.
But now I'm repeating myself.
LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING, WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT and CLUB DREAD are available now at your favourite local video store.
COMING UP IN THE NEXT COUCH POTATO REPORT
Oscar Winner Charlize Theron stars in MONSTER. This based-on-a-true-story movie is about Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who becomes a killer and falls in love. Sadly, the movie isn't as good as Theron, or even the A&E Biography on Wuornos.
In EUROTRIP a group of friends travel Europe for raunchy good fun. For the record, that might be the only time the word "good" will never be associated with this movie.
In the late seventies and early eighties hey were just the good ole boys, never meaning no harm and now you can watch THE DUKES OF HAZARD anytime you'd like as the COMPLETE FIRST SEASON is coming out on DVD.
And finally;
The third series in the hilarious BBC show COUPLING will now be available for us North Americans to laugh at.
And laugh we shall.
I'll have more about those new releases in seven days.
In fourteen days I'll talk about SCTV on DVD!
Enjoy the movies you choose and I'll see you back here on The Couch!
New Tunage!
Here are the new CD releases for Tuesday, May 25, 2004:
* AVRIL LAVIGNE Under My Skin (Arista)
* BONE CRUSHER Fight Music (Arista)
* DANNY COHEN Dannyland (Anti/Epitaph)
* LONESTAR Let's Be Us Again (Arista Country)
* REFUSED The Shape Of Punk To Come (Burning Heart)
* REFUSED Songs to Fan the Flames of Discontent (Burning Heart)
* REFUSED The E.P. Compilation (Burning Heart)
* SARAH MCLACHLAN Acoustic EP (Nettwerk)
* SCATTER THE ASHES Devout/The Modern Hymn (Epitaph)
* TANGIERS Never Bring You Pleasure (Sonic Unyon)
Stars Ensnared On 'Spider-Man 2' Soundtrack
The full track list has been unveiled for "Music From and Inspired by Spider-Man 2," due June 22 via Columbia. As previously reported, Train's "Ordinary" and Dashboard Confessional's "Vindicated" are serving as simultaneous singles from the album, which will also feature a collaboration between Ours' Jimmy Gnecco and Queen's Brian May on "Someone To Die For" plus the new Maroon 5 track "Woman."
Other artists that have contributed previously unreleased songs to the album include the Ataris, Jet, Hoobastank and Yellowcard. Tracks by Smile Empty Soul, Midtown, Lostprophets and Taking Back Sunday will also be found on the soundtrack, alongside two score pieces by composer Danny Elfman.
The original "Spider-Man" soundtrack boasted the rock radio smash "Hero" by Nickelback's Chad Kroeger featuring Saliva's Josey Scott, which hit No. 1 on Billboard's Modern and Mainstream Rock Tracks charts.
"Spider-Man 2," starring Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, arrives June 30 at U.S. theaters.
Here is the track list for "Spider-Man 2":
"Vindicated," Dashboard Confessional
"Ordinary," Train
"Did You," Hoobastank
"Hold On," Jet
"Gifts and Curses," Yellowcard
"Woman," Maroon 5
"This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know)," Taking Back Sunday
"Give It Up," Midtown
"Lucky You," Lostprophets
"Who I Am Album," Smile Empty Soul
"The Night That the Lights Went Out in NYC," the Ataris
"We Are," Ana Johnsson
"Someone To Die For," Jimmy Gnecco featuring Brian May
"Spidey Suite," Danny Elfman
"Doc Ock Suite," Danny Elfman
Shrek 2 earns $129 million in 5 days, setting industry record
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Shrek 2 turned out to be even greener than expected.
The sequel about a verdant ogre and his chatty sidekick Donkey collected $108 million US at the weekend box office, almost $4 million more than its studio, DreamWorks SKG, predicted Sunday, according to final figures released Monday afternoon.
The computer-animated movie earned about $129 million Wednesday through Sunday for the highest five-day opening in Hollywood history, besting December's The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, which had $124.1 million.
Shrek 2 had the second biggest three-day weekend debut, behind only 2002's Spider-Man with $114.8 million.
It beat Spider-Man for the highest single-day gross. On Saturday, Shrek 2 earned $44.8 million, compared to the $43.6 million earned by Spider-Man on its first Saturday.
The top 20 movies at North American theatres Friday through Sunday, followed by distribution studio, gross, number of theatre locations, average receipts per location, total gross and number of weeks in release, as compiled Monday by Exhibitor Relations Co. Inc. and Nielsen EDI Inc.:
1. Shrek 2, DreamWorks, $108,037,878, 4,163 locations, $25,952 average, $128,983,060, one week.
2. Troy, Warner Bros., $23,925,330, 3,411 locations, $7,014 average, $85,960,779, two weeks.
3. Van Helsing, Universal, $10,561,655, 3,418 locations, $3,090 average, $100,526,335, three weeks.
4. Mean Girls, Paramount, $6,907,627, 3,054 locations, $2,262 average, $64,706,896, four weeks.
5. Man On Fire, Fox, $3,680,522, 2,104 locations, $1,749 average, $69,461,524, five weeks.
6. Breakin' All the Rules, Screen Gems, $2,845,368, 1,318 locations, $2,159 average, $9,053,501, two weeks.
7. 13 Going On 30, Sony, $2,512,234, 2,028 locations, $1,239 average, $52,080,216, five weeks.
8. New York Minute, Warner Bros., $1,302,152, 2,360 locations, $552 average, $12,622,044, three weeks.
9. Kill Bill Vol. 2, Miramax, $1,078,811, 854 locations, $1,263 average, $62,711,658, six weeks.
10. Super Size Me, Roadside, $973,644, 148 locations, $6,579 average, $2,941,708, three weeks.
11. Laws of Attraction, New Line, $924,734, 1,010 locations, $916 average, $16,849,742, four weeks.
12. Envy, DreamWorks, $604,606, 521 locations, $1,160 average, $12,181,484, four weeks.
13. A Day Without a Mexican, Telvisa Cine, $554,434, 103 locations, $5,383 average, $1,400,441, one week.
14. Walking Tall, MGM, $459,111, 689 locations, $666 average, $45,138,529, eight weeks.
15. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Focus Features, $342,428, 231 locations, $1,482 average, $32,944,436, 10 weeks.
16. Nascar: The Imax Experience, Warner Bros., $338,406, 72 locations, $4,700 average, $11,602,237, 11 weeks.
17. Godsend, Lions Gate, $316,135, 419 locations, $754 average, $13,994,861, four weeks.
18. Johnson Family Vacation, Fox Searchlight, $303,175, 394 locations, $769 average, $30,056,567, seven weeks.
19. The Passion of the Christ, Newmarket, $271,424, 715 locations, $380 average, $369,336,919, 13 weeks.
20. 50 First Dates, Sony, $231,731, 237 locations, $978 average, $119,861,977, 15 weeks.
Avril Lavigne seeks to showcase artistry after 'angry' debut
NEW YORK (AP) - Avril Lavigne knows her image: a moody, teen rock star with an acidic tongue, steely stare and tough-girl attitude.
"I have been labelled like I'm this angry girl - I'm like, this rebel, I'm like, punk, and I am SO not any of them. It's so funny, and I'm actually really shy," the petite, Canadian-born Lavigne says in typical teenspeak, sitting on a hotel bed wearing a black hooded sweat shirt, greyish pants, boxy shoes and socks bearing the message "boys are dumb."
Lavigne the one-dimensional angry rocker chick is just one misconception she hopes to dispel as she releases her second album, Under This Skin, on Tuesday. It's the follow-up to her hugely successful debut, 2002's Let Go.
Though she's only 19, Lavigne has had a profound effect on the pop world in her short career. In 2002, most teen female singing stars were little more than sexy nymphets singing prepackaged pop that was neither distinctive nor written by the stars themselves.
Along came Lavigne - a brash teen who didn't dye her hair blond, wear tight outfits or bounce to a bubble-gum beat. She played instruments (piano and guitar) and actually was credited with co-writing her own songs.
Girls looking for an alternative to Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera flocked to Lavigne. Her album sold more than five million copies and received a slew of Grammy nominations thanks to hits like Sk8er Boi, I'm With You, and Complicated.
Though she's not fond of the term, Lavigne became the anti-Britney - and flourished because of it.
"I get fan letters like all the time . . . and pretty much every letter just talks about, 'Thank you for not being Britney Spears. I love how you're yourself and you stand up and you're strong,' " she says in a little girl's voice. "I came out and I was myself, dressing, like, my own way."
It wasn't just Lavigne's look - today her hair is light brown with black streaks - that got people's attention. She was billed as a true artist. Many adult performers don't write their own material, so a 17-year-old doing so made Lavigne seem even more authentic.
On her biggest hits, she was paired with the then-unknown production trio known as The Matrix, who were also listed as co-writers. But after The Matrix started becoming ubiquitous as pop writers and producers - working with everyone from Liz Phair to even Britney Spears and Hilary Duff - some people started wondering how much Lavigne had actually contributed to her hits. It didn't help that the trio, who declined to be interviewed for this article, later seemed to be diminishing Lavigne's contributions.
The issue still gets Lavigne steamed.
"I've been writing since I was a little girl. I've been playing guitar since I was a little girl. I've been writing full-on songs since I was 14; like, full-structured songs," she says defiantly. "I am a writer, and I won't accept people trying to take that away from me, and anyone who does is ignorant and doesn't know what they're talking about - and don't you dare!"
Not surprisingly, The Matrix is absent from Under My Skin. Lavigne instead co-wrote most of the songs with fellow Canadian singer Chantal Kreviazuk - whom she calls her new best friend. She also worked with Ben Moody, formerly of the Grammy-winning duo Evanescence.
Kreviazuk says Lavigne was in complete control of the album and its artistic flow. "She's just so motivated, so driven, when she sat down to write a song, she was just a pistol," she says. "I think that it's quite hilarious that people are saying the opposite, because she's so much a part of the songwriting process."
Though the record definitely has elements of her previous hits - great pop melodies with a rock feel - they also delve into more adult topics, like broken relationships, the loss of a loved one and complex emotions.
"This record definitely proves that I'm a writer and people can't (expletive) knock that, because each song comes from a personal experience of mine, and there are so much emotions in those songs," she says.
Lavigne acknowledges pressure to repeat the massive success of her debut, and admits it may not happen.
"You can go as quickly as you came. I believe that I have longevity. I myself will always be pleased. I'm always going to be doing music no matter how big I am, so I'd be satisfied, but you don't know what's going to happen," she says.
But Kreviazuk says that instead of worrying about her past success, Lavigne is more interested in being a well-rounded artist. And she's learned to shrug off the barbs she's received, let down her guard and let people see there's something more to her than an angry stare.
"I slowly watched this metamorphosis. I think one of the things she may have learned is that you can be cool and you can be happy. She has so much to celebrate, and she's aware she's got so much to celebrate," says Kreviazuk. "She doesn't need to be tough about it."
Man, Nature Mix Things Up in 'Day After Tomorrow'
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - To hear director Roland Emmerich tell it, there may be no May 29 or, for that matter, May 30. And this Monday's Memorial Day holiday in the United States -- kiss that one goodbye, too.
Emmerich, maker of 1996 hit "Independence Day" about aliens invading Earth, debuts his new doomsday film, "The Day After Tomorrow," on Friday. The new film offers a look at what could occur if man's messing with Mother Nature freezes us in a new Ice Age.
London, Tokyo, Moscow get blanketed by snow. New York is flooded and frozen like an ice cube tray. The southern U.S. emigrates to Mexico -- all in about seven days.
Make no mistake, "The Day After Tomorrow" is pure Hollywood fantasy. But well before its debut, the film has sparked talk of what really could occur if we fail to halt global warming.
Volunteers from environmental groups Global Exchange and Rainforest Action Network plan to leaflet theaters in 80 cities, and Moveon.org is holding a "Town Hall" on the issue in New York. It follows a similar London meeting two weeks ago.
The groups have no big complaints with the film, except to say that dramatic changes in weather would take decades and would be regional not global. In fact, most are glad Emmerich has shed light on the issue, and the director is happy to cop a plea of using dramatic license.
"Yes, it is over the top, but it has to be," he told Reuters. "Otherwise, it wouldn't be a Hollywood movie."
Emmerich does not consider himself an environmentalist, although he said he is concerned about the environment. But the idea that global warming, caused by burning fossil fuels, could lead to an Ice Age was intriguing. It had just the kind of ironic twist that makes a Hollywood plot, well, Hollywood.
GLOBAL SCALE, HUMAN DIMENSION
In "The Day After Tomorrow," Dennis Quaid portrays climatologist Jack Hall, who theorizes that Earth's warming atmosphere will lead to changing ocean currents -- a fact established by scientists. This in turn, would melt polar ice, raise sea levels and push cold arctic air southward.
Hall claims such a catastrophe is 100, maybe 1000, years away. Little does he know, it is already happening, and only days after he publishes his theory, Earth's climate shifts. That is where Hollywood comes in.
Tornadoes wreck Los Angeles. Tokyo is pelted with hail the size of melons, and the British Isles become a sheet of Ice.
In Manhattan, Hall's son Sam (Jake Gyllenhaal) is trapped with several friends when the sea rises to flood city streets and kill millions. Arctic researcher Hall sets out from Washington, D.C. to save Sam, turning the story from a global disaster into a human tale of survival against odds.
Emmerich said one key to making disaster movies work for audiences is to bring a personal dimension to them.
"People who live through disasters are normal, regular people. You identify with those people and ask yourself, 'what would I do?"' he said.
Emmerich, who wrote the story, said he shelved the first draft of "The Day After Tomorrow" following the Sept. 11 attacks, and slowly returned to it after six months or so.
The story had "an important theme," he said. "Sept. 11 was not only about destruction, but also about bravery and coming together. The film also shows the resiliency of New Yorkers."
On that point, scientists agree. The human race can revise its course and reverse global warming.
"To me, this is not a doomsday scenario," said Peter Frumhoff, director of the Union of Concerned Scientists, a non-profit Cambridge, Massachusetts, group. "It is a very pragmatic scenario ... we're in a position where we can make choices about what kind of future we want to make."
So, sigh with relief. There will be May 29 and, for that matter, May 30. And the upcoming holiday will be there too, but -- and here's the really good news in the United States -- you still don't have to go to work.
'Shrek 2' Success to Spawn More Sequels
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Record-breaking "Shrek 2" cast a bigger box-office spell than first imagined, convincing distributor DreamWorks SKG that even grumpy green ogres can live happily after -- at least for two more sequels.
Opening in a record 4,163 theaters last Wednesday, the computer-animated storybook satire posted $129 million in ticket sales during its first five days across North America, the most ever for a mid-week release.
The previous five-day record for a Wednesday opening was set in December by "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," which grossed $124.1 million through its first Sunday.
For the three days beginning Friday, the traditional start of the weekend box office, "Shrek 2" generated $108 million, making it the second-biggest opening ever behind the $114.8 million release of "Spider-Man" in May of 2002.
"That's better than anyone could have anticipated, even in our wildest dreams," Jim Tharp, DreamWorks president of domestic theatrical distribution, told Reuters as final weekend figures were issued on Monday showing higher receipts than were initially reported.
The head of DreamWorks animation, Ann Daly, said that with the success of "Shrek 2," the studio would move ahead, one at a time, with plans for a third and fourth installment.
"It wasn't really advisable to start working on three and four until we knew that we actually had something in two, and certainly this weekend confirmed that we do," she said.
Daly said DreamWorks was in final talks with the principal voice actors to return, including Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz as the newlywed green ogres with horn-shaped ears, Eddie Murphy as the talking Donkey, and Antonio Banderas as the swashbuckling Puss in Boots.
"Shrek 2" also set a new benchmark as the biggest animated debut of all time, topping the $70 million bow of last year's undersea adventure "Finding Nemo," and marks the strongest 2004 opening so far, surpassing the $89.3 million posted by Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" in February.
"Shrek 2" clearly benefited from the wild popularity of DreamWorks' original fairy tale farce, which opened with more than $42 million in May 2001 and went on to gross $267.7 million in domestic theaters alone.
Paul Dergarabedian, head of box office tracking service Exhibitor Relations, said the Wednesday opening of "Shrek 2" also worked to the film's advantage, giving it two days of free press and positive word of mouth heading into the weekend. The movie's broad demographic appeal was an additional factor.
"This was really the first family movie of the summer, and there was definitely a pent-up demand. You can see that reflected in these grosses," Dergarabedian said. "It's not just a kids' movie: it's a movie for everyone."
Dergarabedian predicted that "Shrek 2" would hold up well next weekend as it competes for Memorial Day weekend business against the global warming disaster epic "The Day After Tomorrow," hip-hop comedy "Soul Plane" and the female-driven comedy romance "Raising Helen."
The success of the CGI-animated "Shrek 2" follows the box office disappointments of two recent hand-drawn cartoons released by DreamWorks -- last year's "Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas" and 2002's "Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron."
Daly said DreamWorks' animation division is currently focused on two upcoming projects, "Shark Tale," due for an October release, and the new TV series, "Father of the Pride," about lions who perform in Siegfried and Roy's famed Las Vegas act, which debuts this fall on NBC.