'NEVER BE KRAMER AGAIN'

Kramer is dead.

That's the word from Michael Richards, the loose-limbed actor who immortalized the character on "Seinfeld."

Richards, 53, now says he doesn't want anything to do with his famed alter-ego.

"I don't want to be Kramer anymore!" Richards declared in an interview with The Guardian newspaper of London. "He was nice for 10 years, but now I'm running away from him."

Richards last week made his London stage debut starring in a revival of "Arsenic and Old Lace" at the Strand Theatre.

The wire-haired actor formerly known as Cosmo is playing the role of Jonathan Brewster, the character played by Raymond Massey in director Frank Capra's famed 1944 movie starring Cary Grant.

Richards, who has rarely spoken publicly since the demise of his short-lived NBC sitcom "The Michael Richards Show" in 2000, said starring in his own show was a mistake.

"About three shows in, I thought, 'What am I doing?' " he said. " 'I just got off 10 years on a TV show. Why am I going back into this?' I was glad to get out!"

He doesn't miss "Seinfeld" at all, but values his fame from the show for the acting jobs it gets him today.

"Do I miss 'Seinfeld'? No!" he said. "It had a good run. And the popularity to me is only useful to the extent that it gets me work."

BNL helps out Waltons rocker

Barenaked Ladies' frontman Ed Robertson has little time for anything besides working on his band's new album and spending time with his family, but he did produce the solo debut from Jason Plumb, formerly of Saskachewan's The Waltons.

"I could only really do it for someone that I really know and love and respect," Robertson says of a possible sideline as a producer. "It requires so much of your time. I have three kids now and the band keeps me really busy, so to do that in my free time was hard for me."

He describes the album, for which he co-wrote a couple of songs with Plumb and produced it at Jeremy Darby's Canterbury Studios in Toronto, as "more rockin' maybe" than The Waltons.

Robertson has been a fan of Plumb's songwriting for years. The Waltons formed in 1987 and moved to Toronto in '91. The band's independent debut, Lik My Trakter, was released in '92.

"They were around before us, but we ended up being really fortunate," says Robertson. "We actually had them open for us on our first Canadian tour."

Robertson is now concentrating on finishing up the demos for Barenaked Ladies's follow-up to 2000's Maroon with bandmates Steven Page (vocals/guitar), Jim Creeggan (bass), Tyler Stewart (drums) and Kevin Hearn (keyboards).

"We're just at Kev's house (in Toronto), demoing on a Pro-Tools rig," says Robertson. "We're recording really hard right now, but we're not recording a record yet.

"For the first time, we've actually done some writing as a five-piece, which is new for us," he adds. "We just rented a rehearsal space in Toronto and showed up a couple of days a week and hammered stuff out. We've got some great stuff.

"We've written the most we've ever written for a record. It's really exciting. We start recording probably the last week of March. We've already got like 26 songs done. We want to make a 12 song record."

The band will decide on a producer in the next week. The album is due by year's end. No word on when Plumb's album will be released, but here's hoping that it hits the racks soon!

White Stripes Move Up Album Release Due To Internet Leaks

Internet leaks of its new album have forced White Stripes to change the release date for their forthcoming Elephant. Originally slated for April 15, Elephant will now come out on April 1 in the U.S., with the U.K. release a day earlier (March 31).

The group and its labels, Third Man/V2 in the U.S. and XL in Britain, took extreme measures to keep the album from being pirated, including pressing advance copies on vinyl only and making MP3 snippets of several tracks available at the White Stripes website. Despite such measures, the entire album has been made available on a variety of Internet sites.

The new release date now precedes the duo's tour of Britain, which kicks off April 7, while Elephant shows in the U.S. start in the Stripes' hometown of Detroit on April 15 at the Masonic Scottish Rite Theatre. More tour dates should be announced soon.

BIG FAT DVD SALES

My Big Fat Greek Wedding setting DVD sales record last week with 4 million discs sold in the first five days.

Molina in Spidey sequel

HOLLYWOOD, California (Variety) -- Actor Alfred Molina, who portrayed Mexican artist Diego Rivera in "Frida," has been cast in Columbia Pictures' upcoming

Molina will play Doc Ock, aka Dr. Otto Octavius, an atomic researcher who designs a chest harness with four artificial tentacle-like arms designed to enable him to manipulate radioactive substances from a safe distance.

The scientist is transformed into a supervillain by a freak lab accident that bombards him with radiation, bonding the harness to his skin and nervous system. Now criminally insane, Doc Ock can control his arms mentally rather than by mechanical controls.

Molina joins a cast that includes Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst and James Franco. Director Sam Raimi begins principal photography on "The Amazing Spider-Man" in April, with the film's release planned for next May.

Molina recently earned a Screen Actors Guild nomination for his portrayal of Diego Rivera in Julie Taymor's biographical film "Frida," starring Salma Hayek. He's also featured in Columbia's upcoming "Identity."

I Hate Those Ads!

A patron is suing a theatre chain for showing commercials.

Hey, can I get in on that?

Eminem, Coldplay Win at Brit Awards

LONDON - Singer Robbie Williams, R&B artist Ms. Dynamite and the alternative band Coldplay won honors as Britain's top musicians at the Brit Awards Thursday.

Two Americans — rapper Eminem and singer Pink — were named best international male and female solo artists in the British version of the U.S. Grammy Awards.

Ms. Dynamite, who emerged recently and has become one of the country's top music stars, also won best British urban act, and Coldplay got best British album for "A Rush Of Blood To The Head." Eminem won best international album for "The Eminem Show."

Ms. Dynamite performed a retooled version of George Michael's hit "Faith," with lyrics expressing opposition to a possible war in Iraq.

"We've been here before, talk of violence and talk of war. I don't wanna see children die no more, so I've gotta make a stand," she sang.

Williams, who first found fame with boy band Take That, was not at the awards show in west London but sent his thanks via video. He used the public platform to tell fans he was available, having recently split from his girlfriend.

"I'd like to thank the Brits for allowing me to put my lonely hearts message out there," he said.

Williams has sold nearly 10 million albums in Britain and has had a series of No. 1 hits, including "Millennium," "She's the One" and "Rock DJ."

Former Bee Gee Robin Gibb, at the ceremony as an award presenter, recalled his brother Maurice, who died last month at 53.

"My brother Maurice Gibb was a great British musician and a great British songwriter, and tonight I'm here in his honor," Robin Gibb said.

Tom Jones was honored for his "outstanding contribution to music." He dedicated the award to his parents and thanked his fans.

"I've been doing this now for 38, 39 years," he said. "I've enjoyed every moment of it and now this, after all these years, can you believe it?"

Other winners included the Red Hot Chili Peppers for best international group and Norah Jones for best international breakthrough artist.

Liberty X won best British single for "Just A Little," Blue won best pop act, the Sugababes won best British dance act, and Will Young was named best British breakthrough artist.

The Brit Awards are run by the British Phonographic Industry Ltd., an industry association.

Most winners are selected by a vote of more than 1,000 industry members, including representatives from record companies, the press, retailers, record producers, DJs and promoters.

Simon and Garfunkel Considering a Grammy Reunion

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel have built a bridge over their troubled waters and may even sing at the Grammy Awards on Sunday in their first public performance together in 10 years.

A spokesman for Simon said the two -- who often had strained relations -- sang together in a private setting on Wednesday, uniting for the first time since 1993.

"They got together yesterday and had a wonderful time. They got together as two great old friends and sang for the first time since 1993. They're thinking of performing at the Grammys, but they're not sure if they have enough time," the spokesman said.

Sources close to the situation said the two were to meet the award show's writer-producer Ken Ehrlich on Thursday at Madison Square Garden, where rehearsals for the show were getting underway.

Neither Ehrlich or a spokesman for Cossette Production, the company producing the Grammys were available for comment.

Another source confirmed that managers for the artists, who have reunited only a few times since splitting up 33 years ago, have been discussing a public reunion at the Grammys.

Simon and Garfunkel, considered the most successful folk-rock duo of the 1960s for creating such enduring hits as "Sounds of Silence" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water," will get a Lifetime Achievement Award this week from the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS), the host of the Grammys.

The award, honoring their work, will be presented at a special pre-Grammy ceremony on Saturday night and will again be mentioned during the CBS telecast, beginning at 8 p.m.

"Art's really excited about getting the award with his friend," a spokesman for Garfunkel said.

NEW YORK THEME

Sunday's Grammy ceremony is the first to be held in New York since 1998 and is expected to focus around the theme of New York City, which is why an appearance by Simon and Garfunkel, both native New Yorkers, would be particularly poignant.

Other performances are expected by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, No Doubt, James Taylor, Yo-Yo Ma, Eminem, Norah Jones and Avril Lavigne.

Simon and Garfunkel met as kids in the New York borough of Queens and released their first record in the late 1950s, calling themselves Tom & Jerry.

They scored a hit with their first single, "Hey Schoolgirl," but follow-up efforts floundered and they split up. They reteamed and released an initially unsuccessful debut acoustic album as Simon & Garfunkel in 1964 before splitting up again.

But a year later, their producer overlaid their strongest song, "Sounds Of Silence" with Beatles-style electric guitars and drums and it became a huge hit.

As their success grew, their partnership weakened with growing creative tensions, particularly as Simon, who penned most of the songs, began to feel constrained by working with the same collaborator and as Garfunkel began to feel overshadowed by Simon's songwriting talents.

They split around 1970 as their landmark album "Bridge Over Troubled Water" was released. They have reunited a few times since then, including in 1981 for a concert in New York's Central Park, attracting half a million people, and also toured in the early 1980s.