Month: May 2013

Categories
James Bond

Bring him back!!

Director Sam Mendes in Talks to Return for Bond 24

Sam Mendes is looking to enlist On Her Majesty’s Secret Service again.

After directing the latest James Bond adventure, Skyfall, to over $1 billion in global box office receipts, the filmmaker is in talks with Sony Pictures and MGM about coming back for the sequel, 007’s 24th outing.

Per Deadline, despite his earlier pronouncements that he wouldn’t be returning to helm the next 007 film so he can concentrate on theater projects, the 47-year-old Mendes appears to have had a change of heart and in looking to jump back into the director’s chair when production on the next movie commences next year.

The website suggested that producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael Wilson kept the lines of communication open with Mendes and opted to wait for him to finish up work on his new West End musical based on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as well as a production of King Lear.

The news comes a couple of weeks after reports surfaced that the 50-year-old spy franchise’s minders at Eon Productions had quietly reached out to Dark Knight Rises helmer and avid Bond fan Christopher Nolan about possibly taking the reins once he’s finished with his sci-fi epic Interstellar. Other directors’ names supposedly being touted for the job include Ang Lee, Tom Hooper and Nicolas Winding Refn.

A rep for Mendes was unavailable to comment.

Oscar-nominated screenwriter John Logan is currently writing the script for Bond 24, which will find Daniel Craig once again reprising his role as the suave superspy. It’s currently being targeted for a 2016 release.

Categories
The Couch Potato Report

May 25th?!? Have we gone forward in time? Nope, I am on vacation…so here is next week’s Report early!! Enjoy!!!

The Couch Potato Report – May 25th, 2013

The stories told by Sarah Polley’s family are inside this week’s Couch Potato Report and so are three films to skip!!

Sarah Polley is an Academy Award nominated, Genie AND Gemini Award winning performer who grew up right in front of our eyes each week playing Sara Stanley during the years she starred on the CBC television series ROAD TO AVONLEA.

Since leaving the show, we’ve seen her grow into a woman in films like THE SWEET HEREAFTER, EXOTICA, DAWN OF THE DEAD and GO. With her recent releases AWAY FROM HER and TAKE THIS WALTZ, we’ve also watched her mature as a writer and director.

Sarah Polley is a well-known Canadian celebrity, and like anyone who has been in the public eye as long as she has, we know everything there is to know about her…don’t we?!

Nope, we do not…but now, with the release of the documentary STORIES WE TELL…now, I think we just might.

STORIES WE TELL begins with Polley asking each of her four siblings and Father to tell the story of their family, and tell they do. We learn everything about them, warts and all.

Sarah Polley is working as both a investigator and a filmmaker here as she collects the stories from her family, some of them are even about her, and then carefully dishes them out to us. Ask any Canadian family to sit down and tell their story, as individuals and not as a group, and – much like what happens here – the truth on any matter depends on who is telling the story.

The members of the Polley Family are all great characters and it is interesting to get to know them, and their Mother, who seems like she would have been a blast to know, and it is because of how personable they are that you will want to know what happens…and something does happen, but I won’t be the one telling you what it is.

STORIES WE TELL is one of those movies where the less you know going in, the more you’ll enjoy it. I knew going in that there was a twist, that the family did have a secret, but I didn’t know what it was and that is all you should want to know too.

This movie is fascinating and fun and interesting and populated with a great group of people. I highly recommend that you check it out.

I won’t highly recommend that you watch any of the other releases I have for you this week, but I will strongly suggest that you skip them. All of them. No matter how curious you are, no matter how much you like the actors in them…skip them!!

Look, Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in his first role since leaving politics, and if you watch the making of features on THE LAST STAND you’ll see that he is convinced that he has returned in a super special piece of filmmaking that has resulted in an amazingly fantastic movie that you can’t miss.

But if you watch the film itself – as I have – you’ll actually see a predictable, very boring movie about a small-town Sheriff who won’t let big city bad guys – or officers of the law – push him around.

Come on filmmakers…this is Arnold Schewarzenegger…big time action star…former action star…we know he isn’t going to lose a fight to a younger, much stronger man, even one who has a series of concealed weapons and some really sharp knives…so why do you try to make us think he will?!

THE LAST STAND isn’t the Schwarzenegger of old, and I sure hope it isn’t the Arnold of the future either. Skip this one, at all costs!! It is nothing special at all.

Another failed action film you must skip is PARKER, starring Jason Statham from THE EXPENDIBLES and THE TRANSPORTER films. This useless mess is adapted from Flashfire, the 19th “Parker” novel, written by Donald Westlake under the name Richard Stark. The books are great!! This movie is not!!

PARKER is a professional thief with a code: He doesn’t steal from the poor or hurt innocent people. When he is double-crossed by a crew, he sets out to get his revenge…and you will not care.

Jason Statham has been the best thing about a lot of really bad action and fight films, but he is walking through this one. And Jennifer Lopez is horribly miscast as the real estate agent who helps Parker.

Plus, the bad guys aren’t evil, or brilliant, or clever, they’re just stupid. It all adds up to something you should avoid. PARKER is a complete waste of time.

The only reason I don’t say that STAND UP GUYS is also a complete waste of time is because – at times – the cast of Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin are fun to see together.

But mostly they don’t do anything…and the result is a film that wants to be a comedy, but is just a complete bore.

Pacino plays a man released from prison after a twenty-eight year stretch in STAND UP GUYS, and Walken is his best friend, who picks him up upon his release, but has been given the assignment to kill him from a mob boss.

The friends get together with their old partner and have a night on the town, featuring fast cars, beautiful women, and all the pharmaceuticals they can steal.

As I said, because of the cast involved, STAND UP GUYS at least held a few moments of entertainment value, but primarily it is just completely boring.

Great cast…noting great about the movie…at all!!

The boring would be comedy STAND UP GUYS, the useless would be crime thriller PARKER, the predictable would be return to action flicks by Arnold Schwarzenegger – THE LAST STAND, and the fascinating documentary STORIES WE TELL – about Canadian actor, writer and director Sarah Polley and her family – are all available now, either on disc or on demand.

Coming up inside the next Couch Potato Report

THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON of the made in Toronto television series SAVING HOPE, Tom Cruise is JACK REACHER, Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher and Rebel Wilson all star in BACHELORETTE, the 50th ANNIVERSARY EDITION of CLEOPATRA and – just for fun – the 1994 comedy AIRHEADS, starring Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi, Adam Sandler and Joe Montegna.

I’ll have more on those, and some other releases, in seven days.

For now, that’s this week’s COUCH POTATO REPORT.

Enjoy the movies and I’ll see you back here again next time on The Couch!

Categories
Movies

I saw – and really enjoyed – STAR TREK! Next week BEFORE MIDNIGHT!!

Box office report: ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ blasts off with a $70.6 million weekend

The USS Enterprise picked up steam throughout the weekend, despite a somewhat unimpressive start. Early estimates show that J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek Into Darkness (CinemaScore: A) could bring in $70.6 million on the three-day weekend, and $84.1 million for the four and a half days that it has been open. Though nothing to scoff at, it’s still underperforming according to initial projections which hoped for a $100 million extended weekend and $80 million on the three-day.

The first Star Trek of the Abrams era opened in early May of 2009 and made an impressive $75.2 million on its first weekend out of the gates, without the benefit of 3-D surcharges. This newest film is showing in 336 IMAX 3-D theaters, whereas the first showed in 138 IMAX venues — accounting for $8.5 million in ticket sales on its first weekend. As we wrote about yesterday, the nature of Abrams’ four different directing projects makes him difficult to analyze in terms of pure box office numbers, so his Star Trek successes and potential will have to stand on its own. The first film stayed in theaters for 21 weeks, ultimately grossing $257.7 million for Paramount.

This is a franchise that seems separate from its stars. Chris Pine, who plays Captain Kirk, for example, has not proven to be a box office draw on his own. Again, this opening weekend isn’t bad, but it’s interesting to think about why it couldn’t live up to early estimates — especially considering the runaway success of Iron Man 3. Perhaps four years is too big of a gap between films. There was a 3 year gap between Iron Man 2 and 3, but releasing The Avengers during the hiatus was likely important for keeping the character present.

Iron Man 3 continues to do well at the box office in spite of the new competition from Star Trek Into Darkness, making an estimated $35.2 million in its third weekend in theaters. This brings its domestic total to $337.1 million.

The Great Gatsby took the No. 3 spot with a $23.4 million weekend, bringing its domestic total to an estimated $90.2 million. The $100 million mark is close for Baz Luhrmann, and it would be a first for the Australian director, even accounting for price inflation. This could be partially the Leonardo DiCaprio effect, the ubiquity and appeal of the novel, or an indication that there is room amidst sci-fi and comic book blockbusters for other types of films — even if this literary adaptation is also a 3-D release.

The No. 4 spot went to Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain, which made $3.1 million in 2,429 locations. It’s only down 38% from last week despite the fact that it lost 874 theaters. The relatively inexpensive ($26 million) Dwayne Johnson/Mark Wahlberg flick has made $46.7 million domestically so far.

Rounding out the top five is The Croods, the Nicolas Cage and Emma Stone voiced cave-family animated picture, which last appeared on the list two weeks ago. The $135 million movie has made an estimated $176.6 million domestically in its 9 weeks in theaters. As one of the only family friendly films available in theaters at the moment, it’s unsurprising that it continues to quietly do well.

1. Star Trek Into Darkness — $70.6 million (3-day)
2. Iron Man 3 — $35.2 million
3. The Great Gatsby –$23.4 million
4. Pain and Gain — $3.1 million
5. The Croods — $2.8 million

Noah Baumbach’s Frances Ha also opened this weekend in 4 theaters, bringing in $134K, with an impressive $33.5K per theater average. Baumbach’s previous three films all played in under 200 theaters.

Categories
The Couch Potato Report

Some long weekend viewing ideas for you.

The Couch Potato Report – May 18th, 2013

We’re up in the clouds inside this week’s Couch Potato Report, for a pair of films that take risks. They both fail, but A for effort!

We live in a day and age when the major motion picture studios don’t usually bankroll anything new or unique, which is why we tend to get movies based on comic book superheroes and sequels and sequels and sequels to films starring characters we already know and have spent money to see.

That is why I was excited when I heard that the filmmakers who had made the very original films THE MATRIX and RUN LOLA RUN were working together on a project.

Even if it was horrible, I thought, it would be interesting to watch. And it is…CLOUD ATLAS is horrible, and it is interesting to watch!!

CLOUD ATLAS is a dramatic science fiction film thriller comedy written, produced and directed by Lana and Andy Wachowski – who gave us THE MATRIX TRILOGY – and Tom Tykwer – the man behind RUN LOLA RUN.

CLOUD ATLAS was adapted from the 2004 novel of the same name by David Mitchell and it features multiple plotlines set across six different eras with Tom Hanks, Halle Berry Susan Sarandon, Hugh Grant and others all playing multiple roles.

CLOUD ATLAS is about how the actions of individual lives impact one another in the past, present and future, and I was never bored once during it’s almost three hour running time…but I also didn’t really care.

But because there are six stories, with so much going on in each one, it is hard to get invested in any of them…and almost every time the actors appeared in a new role with new hair, make-up and prosthetics, it took me out of the film. I get that they did that to show the connection between space and time…but it doesn’t always work.

But all of that is why CLOUD ATLAS is a fantastic failure…because they tried something different, in a day and age when we almost never get that. I completely respect the film, but unless you’ve read the book, I do not recommend it – my friend Charlie says that it is great if you’ve read the book – but my stance is that we shouldn’t have to read a book to understand a movie, and that is why I recommend you skip it.

It is a fantastic failure…but a failure nonetheless.

Another failure is A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III, starring Charlie Sheen as a successful graphic designer whose selfish life of luxury falls apart when his girlfriend breaks up with him.

A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III was written and directed by Roman Coppola – who received an Oscar nomination this year for co-writing MOONRISE KINGDOM with Wes Anderson. The guy can write and the most interesting thing about this film is the words that Charlie Sheen and co-stars Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray say. What their characters do – how they behave and act – that is what makes the movie not worthy of your time.

A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III has style, a tremendous cast, and it tries to be something different, and I will give it an A for effort for trying, but you won’t care for the majority of the characters in the movie, and even though it is only 86 minutes long, it seems much, much longer.

You should skip this one too.

I have a trio of new releases to tell you about right now, and all of them are interesting, yet none of them are must sees.

The documentary ONE DAY ON EARTH actually takes us to the seas, and it also has sections on music, love, marriage, animals, farming, garbage and more.

On October 10, 2010 – 10-10-10 – people from around the planet recorded and filmed what they were doing that day, in the 24-hour period, and over 3000 hours of footage was submitted to onedayonearth.org.

That was then edited down to a one hour and forty-four minute film.

There is so much to see and witness in ONE DAY ON EARTH, and some of it is incredible, footage you’ve never seen before, and may never see again.

But because there is so much of it to get in, the majority of what we are shown feels rushed. We never get to really take in what is going on for too long, because soon enough it is off to something else.

ONE DAY ON EARTH is exceptionally interesting, and visually stunning, but I was only compelled to watch it all the way to the end so I could review it. After a while I just wasn’t engaged anymore and even started to get bored a bit.

But I never disliked it, so…let’s call that a mild recommendation.

I was bored during parts of the Cuban film SEVEN DAYS IN HAVANA…really bored!

This is a Spanish language anthology film that all takes place during a week in the Cuban capital.

There is one film for each day, and each segment is directed by a different filmmaker.

SEVEN DAYS IN HAVANA does have a couple of stories that are interesting, but for the most part there is nothing here that you must see.

Havana looks beautiful in the film, but you have better things to do than spend seven days there.

Skip this one…it just isn’t worth your time this long weekend.

Now this, this next release is worthy of your time!!

With the eighth and final season of the show set to begin, THE SEVENTH SEASON of DEXTER has been released on DVD and blu-ray.

DEXTER is a multiple award winning show about Dexter Morgan – played by Emmy winner Michael C. Hall of SIX FEET UNDER. He is a bloodstain pattern analyst who uses forensic science to help the Miami Metro Police Department catch criminals.

Oh, and he also moonlights as a serial killer.

In THE SEVENTH SEASON of DEXTER our anti-hero has to find a way to keep his sister from turning him in as SEASON SIX ended with her catching him in action.

She now knows he is a killer.

DEXTER is a smart police procedural drama, that is exceptionally well written and if you have never seen it, you should.

This is an amazing show, and even though THE SEVENTH SEASON isn’t the series’ best, it is still better than most of the shows on television today.

I remain excited for SEASON EIGHT and can’t wait to see how it all ends!

Finally this week is an Academy Award winner from 1968. Barbra Streisand stars as Fanny Brice in FUNNY GIRL, which is now available on blu-ray.

Barbra Streisand has been a star for so long, it can be difficult sometimes to remember that she became a star because she can act and in FUNNY GIRL she acts, she dances and she sings…some classic songs such as “People”.

The real Fanny Brice was a very popular and influential comedian and singer who appeared on stage and screen. In FUNNY GIRL Streisand brings her to life, and Omar Sharif is the love of her life.

The blu-ray for FUNNY GIRL doesn’t offer much in the way of extras, but the film – and its stars – all look and sound amazing in HD!!

If you’ve never seen this one…don’t miss it! Streisand tied with the legendary Katharine Hepburn to win Best Actress for her performance here. It was deserving of that honour then, and your time now.

The Academy Award winning 1968 film FUNNY GIRL, the good but never great SEVENTH SEASON of DEXTER, the uneven anthology SEVEN DAYS IN HAVANA, the interesting but not engaging documentary ONE DAY ON EARTH, the odd and not very good A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III and the fantastic failure that is CLOUD ATLAS are all available now, either on disc or on demand.

Coming up inside the next Couch Potato Report

Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez star in the action film PARKER, Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin are STAND UP GUYS, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first post political work is the crime thriller THE LAST STAND, and STORIES WE TELL is Canadian director Sara Polley’s fascinating documentary look at her own family, warts and all.

I’ll have more on those, and some other releases, in seven days.

For now, that’s this week’s COUCH POTATO REPORT.

Enjoy the movies and I’ll see you back here again next time on The Couch!

Categories
Rumours

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet idea!!!

Christopher Nolan in talks for Bond 24?

Given his status as the world’s premiere director of large-scale event cinema, it was perhaps inevitable that Christopher Nolan would become linked to the vacant director’s chair on Bond 24, and sure enough, that’s exactly what’s happened.

The Daily Mail’s Baz Bamigboye reports that Nolan is in early talks with Bond bigwigs Barbara Broccoli and Michael G .Wilson, with a view to the director stepping into the position recently vacated by Sam Mendes.

Our instant reaction to this one would be that with Nolan embarking upon pre-production on his forthcoming sci-fi film Interstellar, the likelihood of him jumping straight into another hugely time-consuming property would seem slim.

However, Bamigboye was frequently on the money with his various scoops throughout Skyfall’s life-cycle, so it could well be the case that Broccoli and Wilson have at least sounded Nolan out about his potential availability.

It may be that they’re simply keen to get his take on where the Bond films might go next, with Nolan having previously declared himself a fan of the series.

We’d certainly love to see Nolan take on the franchise at some point in the future, so if Bond 24 turns out to be an episode too soon, hopefully Broccoli and Wilson will be able to pique his interest further down the track.

Categories
Music

Their legacy is intact!!

REM’s Mike Mills: ‘We have zero plans to reform’

REM bassist Mike Mills has insisted the band have “zero” plans to reform.

The band called time on their 31-year career in September 2011 following the release of their fifteenth studio album ‘Collapse Into Now’, but released a special deluxe version of their 1988 album ‘Green’ to celebrate its 25th anniversary earlier this week.

Speaking to Rolling Stone, however, Mills was adamant that he and his bandmates are still not tempted to reunite in the future. “There were no real factors other than deciding it was time to break up,” he said. “There’s no drug abuse. There’s no in-fighting. There’s no legal problems. It was time to break up. That’s never really been done before.

“The idea of breaking up and not reforming for a reunion tour is kind of attractive to us,” he added. “I doubt you’ll see us touring as REM again. On the other hand, I just played with Peter [Buck, guitarist] in New York City the other night, so fun things do happen.”

He then went on to say: “Absolutely nobody can predict the future. But right now, there are zero plans for an REM reunion. Absolutely zero. But the future is a strange place. We could all be hit by a meteor tomorrow, but I would consider it highly unlikely.”

REM released a public statement following their split saying they were “astonished at all we have accomplished” in a career that spanned over three decades but, since then, each member of the band has quashed hopes that they will reunite in the future.

Since going their separate ways, guitarist Peter Buck has debuted music he has made as a solo artist, with his debut track ’10 Million BC’ surfacing online in June of last year. Neither bassist Mike Mills or frontman Michael Stipe have followed suit, however, with the latter claiming it was “unfathomable” that he would want to embark on a solo career.

Categories
Television

They all leave eventually.

Bill Hader Leaving ‘SNL’: Season 38 Of ‘Saturday Night Live’ Will Be His Last

Bill Hader is leaving “SNL,” the comedian announced in an interview with The New York Times. His last show will be the Season 38 finale of “Saturday Night Live” on Saturday, May 18, 2013.

“It was a hard decision, but it has to happen at some point,” Hader, who joined the series in 2005, told The New York Times. “It got to a point where I said, ‘Maybe it’s just time to go.'”

The futures of Fred Armisen and Jason Sudeikis are also up in the air as “SNL” breaks for the summer before Season 39. But one other departure is certain: Seth Meyers. Meyers will leave “Saturday Night Live” and take over as “Late Night” host when Jimmy Fallon move to “The Tonight Show,” replacing Jay Leno. However, Meyers will stay with “SNL” through the fall before he takes over “Late Night.”

Last season, Andy Samberg and Kristen Wiig left the series. Wiig, who recently returned to host “Saturday Night Live,” got an emotional sendoff during the Season 37 finale, but Hader said don’t expect something similar for him.

“My joke was, we’ll start singing ‘Ruby Tuesday’ and just say bye to Kristen again,” he told The Times. “I can just do a little wave at goodnights, and that signifies it.”

For more on Bill Hader’s “SNL” departure, click over to The New York Times.

Hader’s last “Saturday Night Live” episode airs Satruday, May 18 at 11:30 p.m. ET on NBC.

Categories
People

Congratulations on a great career, Ms. Walters!!

Barbara Walters Officially Announces Retirement on The View

Barbara Walters has made her retirement announcement official.

The 83-year-old veteran journalist began Tuesday’s The View reconfirming what she had revealed to ABC News one day earlier.

Following a self-narrated retrospective of her career, Walters incredulously told the studio audience and viewers at home, “I have been on TV continuously for over 50 years!”

Walters then explained, “In the summer of 2014, a year from now, I plan to retire from appearing on television at all. It’s been an absolute joyful, rewarding, challenging, fascinating and, occasionally bumpy, ride. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

She was quick to note that she is “perfectly healthy” and this is “my decision.”

Walters added that she will continue to to coexecutive produce The View with Bill Geddie “as long as the program is aired” and stated she will come back to visit from time-to-time.

“I’m not walking into the sunset, but I don’t want to appear on another program, climb another mountain,” she said. “I want to instead sit in a sunny field and admire the very gifted women—and OK, some men too—who will be taking my place, and most of all, I want to thank everybody here.”

Walters concluded by saying, “I’ve had an amazing career beyond anything I could have ever imagined and I hope that I may have also inspired other women to make television, in front or behind the camera, a career.”

Categories
Television

Awesome!!!

’24’ will ‘Live Another Day’ in 2014, FOX confirms

Jack Bauer is officially back: FOX has confirmed its plans to bring “24” back to its airwaves next year.

The show will return in the summer of 2014 as an event series called “24: Live Another Day.” Kiefer Sutherland has signed on to play Jack Bauer again, with the story picking up several years after the last season, which aired in 2009. There’s no word yet on any other casting.

“Live Another Day” will run for 12 weeks and keep its real-time format, but FOX Entertainment Chairman Kevin Reilly says it may skip hours here and there.

“As [executive producer Howard Gordon] would design the season, the spine of the 24 episodes was really about 12 hours. Those were where the big events occurred, and then there were little twists and connective tissue in between,” Reilly told reporters on a conference call Monday (May 13). Each episode of “Live Another Day” will still unfold over the course of an hour, but viewers won’t see as much of the in-between hours. “It may go 7 a.m., 8 a.m., 10 a.m.,” Reilly says, depending on how the story comes together.

Reilly says the return of “24” grew out of the network announcing it was making a push into limited-run series, and Gordon and the “24” team’s frustration at trying to design a feature film based on the show.

“As they got into the feature film, I think they all agreed that ’24’ compressed into two hours is not ’24,'” Reilly says. “Talking about it over the last couple of years, they kind of got their juices flowing again, and when we announced this new [miniseries] franchise, a little light bulb went off for Howard. He said, ‘Wait a minute. Why are we killing ourselves trying to crack a feature when this is the perfect format?'”

“Live Another Day” will probably be paired with another scripted series in the summer of 2014 — Reilly mentioned the drama “Gang Related” as one that might hold until then. Another limited series, the thriller “Wayward Pines,” is currently set to launch in the late summer next year and carry into fall.

Categories
The Couch Potato Report

Happy Mother’s Day, Movie Fans!!!

The Couch Potato Report – May 11th, 2013

It’s the Mother’s Day Weekend so there is a Mama inside this week’s Couch Potato Report and The Great Gatsby.

Happy Mother’s Day Weekend to all of the Mother’s out there…I hope that you are having a great morning so far!

I wish I had a better cinematic representative of what you mean to us to review right now, but alas all I have is a made in Ontario horror film called MAMA, and the filmmakers are lucky that my Mother always said “If you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, otherwise I’d be a lot more critical of it.

MAMA stars Academy Award nominee Jessica Chastain from THE HELP and ZERO DARK THIRTY as one half of a couple who become the guardians of two young girls who were left alone in a cabin in the woods for five years.

Well, horror fans, they weren’t actually alone, they were being protected by a ghost who acted as their Mother figure, and now that the girls have returned to society, Mama has come with them.

Truth be told, because my Mother always told me to tell the truth, MAMA isn’t the worst horror film I’ve seen this year. It’s never great, but it isn’t awful either.

Horror fans, go in with low, very low expectations, and you might enjoy it. Might!!

Happy Mother’s Day, MAMA!!

Up next, THE CAPTAINS – A FILM BY WILLIAM SHATNER.

THE CAPTAINS is a documentary that follows William Shatner around North America and to England as he interviews the other actors whom have portrayed Starship captains within the STAR TREK franchise.

Patrick Stewart, Avery Brooks, Kate Mulgrew, Scott Bakula, and even the latest Captain, Chris Pine, they are all here, and there is plenty of William Shatner too.

At times this film is a little self-indulgent, we certainly learn more about Shatner than any of the rest of THE CAPTAINS, but it is also informative, fun, funny, interesting, entertaining and engaging.

Sadly, it doesn’t have the one thing that I wanted the most – a scene with them all together – but I still enjoyed it immensely and have no problem recommending THE CAPTAINS, even to people who don’t know what Starfleet Academy is.

This is great stuff!!

There are people who LOVE the romance novels of Nicholas Sparks, and the films based on them. Message in a Bottle, A Walk to Remember, The Notebook,Dear John, The Last Song, The Lucky One, people love these books and movies!

There are probably even those who love his latest, SAFE HAVEN, but please don’t count me as one of them.

This may be the most clichéd, emotion free love story ever told.

SAFE HAVEN is just plain awful!

Julianne Hough from ROCK OF AGES stars here as a woman on the run who ends up in a beautiful, clichéd, small town, where she meets a hunky clichéd widower, played by Josh Duhamel of the TRANSFORMERS movies.

Of course she meets a hunky guy, and of course he has a cute kid – who is also a cliché – and of course after fighting it for about a half an hour of screen time, they fall in love.

There is no action or reaction in SAFE HAVEN, just plot points, and at the end there are several things that happen that lead me – each time – to actually say out loud, “Come on?!?! Really?!?!”

The studios have produced some great movies based on the words of Nicholas Sparks, but they might need to take a break as SAFE HAVEN is awful in almost every way.

Skip it!!

There are hundreds of television shows that air every night of the week, and as good as some of them are, there are better ones that people never see. The simple truth is that no one can watch everything, not even me.

But I do tend to watch more than most, so let me recommend two series to you now, that you might have missed, or skipped, or just never had time for.

The first is the made-in-Toronto police procedural series ROOKIE BLUE.

ROOKIE BLUE started off as a show about the lives of five rookie police officers who has just graduated from the academy, and now that we are in THE COMPLETE THIRD SEASON, the show continues to show us their challenges – personally and professionally – as they try to protect and serve.

I enjoy police procedural shows, and so I do enjoy ROOKIE BLUE…although the cases these officers have to solve are never really all that difficult…usually the first person you think did it, did.

However, even with hit and miss stories, and too much romantic drama at times, ROOKIE BLUE still has a great cast and I liked THE COMPLETE THIRD SEASON of the show, just as I’ve liked the first two seasons.

If you have never seen it, check it out!

Another show that I love actually ended this year after seven low rated seasons…and they knew their audience wasn’t huge.

30 ROCK stars Tina Fey as the head writer on a late night variety show – not unlike Saturday Night Live – and the kooky and crazy people who work on the show and the oddball situations they continued to find themselves in.

30 ROCK is odd and quirky and very quotable.

30 ROCK – SEASON SEVEN – THE FINAL SEASON wasn’t the best season of the show, it knew it was going off the air so it wasn’t afraid to try some plotlines that just didn’t pay off, but for anyone who has been watching the show since it debuted back on October 11, 2006, it did pay off with more huge laughs and the best ensemble cast on television.

I love this show, and if you’ve never seen it, there are now seven seasons, 138 episodes, and plenty of laughs just waiting for you.

Enjoy!!

Finally this week, with the Leonardo DiCaprio adaptation brand new in theatres, let’s go back to 1974 for the Robert Redford version of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s THE GREAT GATSBY.

Nick Carraway is a young man who decides to Summer on Long Island, and it is there where he meets a self-made millionaire named Jay Gatsby. Gatsby is a charmer and a recluse who throws lavish parties on his estate each night, but only rarely attends them.

Gatsby is watching what is happen at his events, looking, hoping that one night a special woman will attend, and then he can see her again.

Carraway has a cottage near Gatsby estate, and he gets caught up in the man’s life.

Gatsby is searching for Daisy Buchanan, played by Mia Farrow, and once he finds her he is unable to let her go.

THE GREAT GATSBY is a story about obsession and tragedy set during the roaring twenties and it will always be a great book, but this 1974 film version has always been a bit slow for me. It is interesting, because the original story is, but it moves very slowly, and it isn’t always easy to see the chemistry between Mia Farrow and Robert Redford.

I’ve never disliked this version of THE GREAT GATSBY, but I have never really loved it either. So consider that a mild recommendation for the new blu-ray, which features a very good print of the film, but no Special Features whatsoever.

The 1974 version of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s THE GREAT GATSBY; SEASON SEVEN – THE FINAL SEASON of the underappreciated show 30 ROCK; THE COMPLETE THIRD SEASON of the entertaining made-in-Toronto police procedural series ROOKIE BLUE; the awful, cliché ridden would be romance SAFE HAVEN; the self-indulgent but very entertaining documentary THE CAPTAINS – A FILM BY WILLIAM SHATNER; and the never great, but never awful horror film MAMA, which is not a great gift for Mother’s Day, are all available now, either on disc or on demand.

Coming up inside the next Couch Potato Report

A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III, we’ll spend ONE DAY ON EARTH and SEVEN DAYS IN HAVANA, and the creators of THE MATRIX TRILOGY give us the dramatic sci-fi flick CLOUD ATLAS.

I’ll have more on those, and some other releases, in seven days.

For now, that’s this week’s COUCH POTATO REPORT.

Enjoy the movies and I’ll see you back here again next time on The Couch!