“Oh gosh, I sure hope there is a good, scary movie for us to watch and enjoy this Halloween. And hey, if Halloween is on a weekend, wouldn’t it be cool if everyone called it a ‘Halloweekend’!!”

The Couch Potato Report – October 26th, 2004
In The Couch Potato Report this week, there’s not much in the way of new stuff, but wait until you hear about what’s coming out next week!
I know I have a tendency to come off stoic and serious. I have rarely laughed in public and I can’t remember the last time I told a joke.
But even though that may be true, I do actually enjoy a hearty laugh, guffaw or chuckle. Yes, even though I am usually quite serious I enjoy laughing a great deal.
A great many of my laughs in the last decade have come courtesy of the work of the Wayans family.
With their movies HOLLYWOOD SHUFFLE, SCARY MOVIE and MO MONEY, and the television series IN LIVING COLOUR, Damon, Keenan Ivory, Shawn and Marlon Wayans have all given me that rare pleasure known as laughter.
I’ve laughed with them. I’ve laughed at them. I’ve laughed.
And that is the reason I wanted to see the movie WHITE CHICKS. I wanted to laugh.
But WHITE CHICKS isn’t funny. At all. And now that it is available on video and DVD I want to make 100% sure you know that, just in case you’ve always trusted the Wayans family for your laughs as well.
In WHITE CHICKS Keenan Ivory Wayans directs his brothers Marlon and Shawn. They play African-American FBI agents who have to go undercover as over-privileged white debutantes to try and prevent a kidnapping.
Other than the fact that the film doesn’t have one laugh in it, the absolute worst thing about WHITE CHICKS is how bad the make-up is. The two “white chicks” look horrible. They aren’t believable for a second! Even if this is supposed to be a comedic film that you don’t take seriously, c’mon! Bad work is bad work!
And WHITE CHICKS looks bad, plus – as I’ve mentioned – it is a comedy that has no laughs.
This movie is absolutely horrible on every level.
Now, if you want to see the premise of an African-American person going undercover as a white person done right, pick up SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE: THE BEST OF EDDIE MURPHY and watch his classic “White Like Me” film. Now that was one of the funniest things I have ever seen!
Okay, since it is going to be Halloween on Saturday, you might be in the mood to check out a movie with some horrific elements this week. And if you like your horrific films to have zombies in them, well you are in luck as the remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD is now available!
After a devastating viral outbreak, a Milwaukee shopping mall is under siege by cannibalistic zombies. Inside the mall is a group of people who haven’t been infected, and they are trying to keep the zombies out.
Ah yes, a nice simple, believable premise!
Canadian national treasure Sarah Polley, of ROAD TO AVONLEA, GO and THE SWEET HEREAFTER stars with Ving Rhames of PULP FICTION and Mekhi Phifer from 8 MILE.
Unlike WHITE CHICKS, DAWN OF THE DEAD is very funny. It also has a simple plot and a great deal of tension. Plus, if you are a fan of the 1978 original, you will catch the tributes to George A. Romero’s original. If you are not a fan of that classic zombie movie, no worries, just check out this update and you will have a new classic zombie film to enjoy.
But be warned, if you don’t enjoy horror or zombie movies, then DAWN OF THE DEAD isn’t a movie you should see. Halloween or not!
WHITE CHICKS, SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE: THE BEST OF EDDIE MURPHY and DAWN OF THE DEAD are all available now at your favourite local video store.
The incredible SHREK 2 sees the ogre and his wife Fiona summoned to meet the in-laws. Don’t worry Donkey is also back and he goes along for the ride. Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy all return to provide the characters voices.
LOONEY TUNES – THE GOLDEN COLLECTION: VOLUME TWO is a 4 disc set that has 60 more of the finest, funniest, bestest Golden Era cartoons featuring Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Sylvester, Tweety Bird, The Road Runner, Wile E Coyote and all of the other classic animated Looney Tunes characters.
The word “classic” will never be used in conjunction with the remake of the film AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS. Jackie Chan plays a thief and Steve Coogan is a London inventor. Together they travel around the world. You won’t care.
You might care that STAR TREK” THE ORIGINAL SERIES – THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON is coming out. If not, there is NORTHERN EXPOSURE – THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON or THREE’S COMPANY – SEASON THREE to placate your desire to own some classic television series on DVD.
I’m Dan Reynish and I’ll have more on those, and some other releases, in seven days.
For now, that’s this week’s COUCH POTATO REPORT.
Enjoy the movies and I’ll see you back here next week on The Couch!