“Dan suggests that we just look for an episode of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ on TV.”

The Couch Potato Report – May 25th, 2004
This week in The Couch Potato Report there’s a classic book that’s become a classic film and two comedies that just aren’t funny.
Back in February an epic journey of a raggedy gang of humans, hobbits, wizards, dwarves and elves hoisted the fantasy genre to Oscar glory.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING won a record-tying 11 Oscars, sweeping every category in which it was nominated, including best picture.
Now, the third chapter in J.R.R. Tolkien’s THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy is set to dominate DVD and video sales and rental charts the same way it did the Oscars.
And deservedly so as director Peter Jackson has once again created an awe-inspiring adaptation of the Tolkien classic.
I won’t go into specific plot points as I suspect by now you are either very familiar with THE LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy, or you couldn’t care less.
I will say this, THE RETURN OF THE KING is a majestic film on an epic scale which preserves the integrity of the trilogy to its conclusion.
The only disappointment I have regarding this initial DVD and video release of RETURN OF THE KING is that it is only the three hour and twenty minute theatrical version of the film.
With the other two LORD OF THE RINGS films the studio had to wait until a few months after the release of the theatrical edition before releasing the extended directors cuts.
The extended cuts served as a way to promote the impending release of the next chapter in the series.
Now that there is no impending release, they are making people wait until Christmas anyway in order to not cut into the sales of this theatrical version.
Personally, I am willing to wait until then, as Peter Jackson has said that almost an hour’s worth of extra footage will make its way onto the extended DVD version.
Yes, I will voluntarily wait, but I’m disappointed that I have to.
There is nothing disappointing about the movie THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING, but the way it is being delivered to us fans is very disappointing.
Very disappointing are also the words I would use to describe Ray Romano’s film WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT.
On TV everybody loves Raymond, myself included, as he is a hilarious performer.
I suspect few will like this movie about a plumber who runs for mayor against an ex-President. Gene Hackman plays the ex-president.
I went to see WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT in theatres when it came out expecting to laugh.
Unfortunately I didn’t laugh at all.
A few weeks ago it was the film on the plane on my way back from vacation and I watched it again to see if I had missed a laugh or two.
Again, I didn’t laugh once and I eventually fell asleep.
WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT is just a bland, uninteresting film.
You could, perhaps, get a kick out of it if you have no expectations and everything else has been rented, but even then I recommend that you skip WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT and just look for an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” on TV.
Trust me, you’ll be better off.
The final new release this week is CLUB DREAD.
In this latest film from the comedy troop BROKEN LIZARD, who also gave us the hilarious SUPER TROOPERS, an inept staff at island resort must battle a killer.
This film doesn’t know if it’s a comedy, or a horror, a spoof of horror movies or what.
What’s worse is that it is bad at trying to be any of them.
Here’s my theory: A movie needs to be funny to qualify as a comedy, and this film is not funny. Not at all! It is extremely boring, and will be painful to watch for everyone who saw and enjoyed SUPER TROOPERS.
Am I sorry I saw it? No, I’m never sorry I see any movie I’m interested in seeing, especially any movie with Brittany Daniel in it.
Will you be sorry, well why don’t you erase that as a possibility by either checking out SUPER TROOPERS or just look for an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” on TV.
But now I’m repeating myself.
LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING, WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT and CLUB DREAD are available now at your favourite local video store.
Oscar Winner Charlize Theron stars in MONSTER. This based-on-a-true-story movie is about Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who becomes a killer and falls in love. Sadly, the movie isn’t as good as Theron, or even the A&E Biography on Wuornos.
In EUROTRIP a group of friends travel Europe for raunchy good fun. For the record, that might be the only time the word “good” will never be associated with this movie.
In the late seventies and early eighties hey were just the good ole boys, never meaning no harm and now you can watch THE DUKES OF HAZARD anytime you’d like as the COMPLETE FIRST SEASON is coming out on DVD.
And finally;
The third series in the hilarious BBC show COUPLING will now be available for us North Americans to laugh at.
And laugh we shall.
I’ll have more about those new releases in seven days.
In fourteen days I’ll talk about SCTV on DVD!
Enjoy the movies you choose and I’ll see you back here on The Couch!