‘We Built This City’ ranks as the worst record ever
We Built This City is the single worst single ever constructed, according to Blender’s ranking of reeking tunes.
Not so hip to be square: Huey Lewis’ The Heart of Rock & Roll rates as one of the worst songs ever, according to Blender magazine.
The magazine’s list of “The 50 Worst Songs Ever,” which hits newsstands Tuesday in New York and Los Angeles and April 27 nationwide, distills the lamest popular rock-era records into one sonic landfill.
Starship’s 1985 anthem, the runaway No. 1 stinker, “seems to inspire the most virulent feelings of outrage,” editor Craig Marks says. “It purports to be anti-commercial but reeks of ’80s corporate-rock commercialism. It’s a real reflection of what practically killed rock music in the ’80s.”
Also sealing the song’s fate were Starship’s steep fall from grace as the admired Jefferson Airplane and “the sheer dumbness of the lyrics,” Marks says.
BOTTOM OF THE BARREL
1. We Built This City Starship 1985
2. Achy Breaky Heart Billy Ray Cyrus 1992
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight Wang Chung 1986
4. Rollin’ Limpbizkit 2000
5. Ice Ice Baby Vanilla Ice 1990
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll Huey Lewis & The News 1984
7. Don’t Worry, Be Happy Bobby McFerrin 1988
8. Party All the Time Eddie Murphy 1985
9. American Life Madonna 2003
10. Ebony and Ivory Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder 1982
The May issue, a sequel to the 2003 roundup of history’s worst bands, coincides with a Blender/VH1 special, The 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever, which airs May 12.
Harvesting clunkers that range from The Doors’ The End to Aqua’s Barbie Girl entailed more digging than expected.
Each dud had to be a hit to make the hit list. Though Right Said Fred’s I’m Too Sexy got in, such novelties as Macarena and Who Let the Dogs Out, which by design are cheesy, were nixed. The jury also whittled down the bulk of “rotten, excruciatingly bad low-hanging fruit from the ’70s,” Marks says.
Blender had no qualms about riding herd on sacred cows, inducting The Beatles’ Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, R.E.M.’s Shiny Happy People and John Mayer’s Your Body Is a Wonderland. The entry most likely to peeve fans is Simon & Garfunkel’s The Sounds of Silence.
“It’s the freshman-poetry meaningfulness that got our goat,” Marks says. “With self-important lyrics like, ‘Hear my words that I might teach you,’ it’s almost a parody of pretentious ’60s folk-rock.
“If Frasier Crane wrote a song, this would be it.”
To accommodate coming horrors, the list can’t be considered definitive. Noting that Clay Aiken’s Invisible landed at No. 11, Marks predicts that “as soon as the American Idol season is finished, there will be a new entry.”
Categories