Golden Globes 2004: Minute by Minute
LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) – Say whatever you like about the Hollywood Foreign Press Association — and lord knows, many have over the years about the group’s small size, nebulous membership policies and outsize awards-season clout, but the people there run a tight ship. The 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards Sunday zipped along right on schedule, something we can say probably won’t happen at the Oscars next month.
There weren’t a lot of huge surprises among the winners, but the combination of an open bar and a roomful of famous people made, as usual, for an entertaining show. Here’s a minute-by-minute account of the broadcast:
8 p.m.: The show opens with a re-working of OutKast’s “Hey Ya,” which is so bad that it could very well kill Andre 3000 and make him turn over in his grave, all in one motion.
8:03: With no host, the Globes get right to the awards. Meryl Streep, presenting the award for best supporting actor in a drama, says she’s never opened an envelope before. We assume she’s talking about awards-show envelopes, because otherwise that would just be weird. Tim Robbins wins for his work in “Mystic River.” He’s excited to win the first award of the night, because “now I can drink.”
8:06: The always-solid Anthony LaPaglia wins the Globe for best actor in a drama series for his understated work on CBS’ “Without a Trace.” “Now I can drink with Tim,” he exclaims. After starting to leave, he runs back to the mic to thank the Golden Globes’ sponsoring organization, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.
8:09: Rolling right along, “Six Feet Under’s” Frances Conroy accepts the award for best actress in a drama series.
8:14: The consensus among both men and women is that Renee Zellweger looks just fine with the extra weight she gained for the “Bridget Jones” sequel.
8:20: We meet this year’s Miss Golden Globe, Lily Costner, the 17-year-old daughter of Kevin. She’ll stand on stage looking nice for the rest of the evening.
8:25: British import “The Office” wins best comedy series. Star/co-creator Ricky Gervais doesn’t much know what to say, noting “I’m not from around these parts. I’m from a little place called England — we used to run the world before you.”
8:30: In what will probably be the least surprising announcement of the night, HBO’s “Angels in America” wins the Globe for best miniseries or TV movie. Star Al Pacino looks a little out of sorts on stage, but fellow cast member Mary-Louise Parker most decidedly does not.
8:32: Meryl Streep should really do more comedy (“Death Becomes Her” and “She Devil” to the contrary). Accepting her award for best actress in a miniseries or TV movie, she at first looks frightened when the towering Uma Thurman tries to hand her the trophy from behind, then remarks about how her dress is sort of see-through. She gets a couple more laughs by thanking her agent and noting that Tim Robbins didn’t thank his.
8:43: A member of the Hollywood Foreign Press justifies the group’s existence with film clips of the association handing checks out, or something.
8:45: Sarah Jessica Parker wins her fourth Golden Globe for best actress in a comedy series, and gives a halting, “um”-filled acceptance speech. You’d think she’d be better at this by now, wouldn’t you?
8:50: Jeffrey Wright is surprised to win for “Angels in America,” because he’s sitting at a table near the wall of the ballroom. Those who saw the film aren’t so shocked.
8:53: NBC is starting in with the treacly, “Don’t miss the final episodes” promos for “Frasier.”
8:55: Robin Williams, introducing a clip for the nautical epic “Master and Commander,” says the sea is “cruel, unforgiving and wet — a lot like Paris Hilton.”
8:57: Diane Keaton wins for “Something’s Gotta Give.” She says “s***” in her acceptance speech, but NBC, not wanting a repeat of Bono’s “This is f***in’ great” from last year, makes sure to blip it out.
9:00: Bill Murray wins best actor (musical and comedy) for “Lost in Translation.” He arrives dressed as brother Brian Doyle-Murray and delivers a typically dry speech, noting, “Too often we forget our brothers on the other side of the aisle, the dramatic actors.” He doesn’t mention radiant co-star Scarlett Johansson, which just seems mean. Murray now has a Golden Globe going for him, which is nice.
9:10: “Las Vegas” stars Josh Duhamel and Molly Sims appear on stage to present best television drama. In the crowd, Jim Belushi seems to be saying that he wishes he could win a date with Tad Hamilton.
9:11: FOX’s “24” wins for best drama, suggesting that the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press live in countries where they’re still getting the show’s good episodes from last season or the year before.
9:13: Ricky Gervais of “The Office” picks up his second trophy of the evening and gets to play confused foreigner again. “I’ve been here before… It’s good,” he says, milking time until the band plays him off the stage. He manages to thank at least two people while staring blankly at the stars in the crowd.
9:21: Why, oh, why does Gwen Stefani look like one of the aliens from “Alien Nation”? Answer: Too much peroxide. Can she be too bleached? No doubt.
9:25: Two minutes after winning for original score and telling his kid back home to go to bed, Howard Shore wins a second trophy for the original song for “Into the West” from “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.” Sting was nominated, but didn’t win, perhaps because the HPFA was nervous about the possibility eight-hour tantric acceptance speech.
9:32: J Lo presents the screenwriting prize to Sofia Coppola. J Lo knows the importance of screenwriters. Insert your favorite “Gigli” joke here. Lopez seems upbeat despite her recent break-up with Ben Affleck, but her bangs appear to be in mourning.
9:37: Mary-Louise Parker, best supporting actress in a series, miniseries or telefilm for “Angels in America,” wins a $1,000 dare from her “West Wing” co-star Janel Moloney by thanking her newborn son for enhancing the profile of her breasts in her barely-there dress. The true winners are the viewers at home.
9:42: Danny DeVito presents his old friend and frequent co-star Michael Douglas with the Cecil B. DeMille Award and makes jokes about drugs, Douglas’ age and his interest in women. Nobody laughs.
9:49: Sharon Stone joins DeVito, noting that she had only made a handful of movies before appearing on top of Douglas in “Basic Instinct.” We don’t know if she’s forgetting about “Total Recall” or “Action Jackson” or “King Solomon’s Mines” or “Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol,” but we don’t want her to sell her early career short.
10:03: Sure, it’s nice to get awards, but as the announcer keeps reminding us every time a presenter comes to the stage, these people have movies to plug. Thus, we’re made aware that Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon’s next project is “Shall We Dance?,” while Dustin Hoffman can be seen soon in “I Heart Huckabee’s.” Oh, and don’t forget to check out Brittany Murphy in “Little Black Book.”
10:07: Peter Jackson wins best director for “Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.” The short, scruffy New Zealander acknowledges his own hobbit-like appearance and apologizes to the HFPA for “lowering the standards on the red carpet.”
10:12: “Angels in America” completes its sweep as Al Pacino wins for best actor in a miniseries or TV movie. The band is not quick with the hook.
10:21: A stunningly dressed Nicole Kidman states the obvious — “You’re not Sean” — when “Mystic River” director Clint Eastwood steps to the stage to accept the Globe for best actor in a drama on behalf of the film’s star, Sean Penn. Eastwood informs us that Penn has “family business up North.”
10:36: After a very serious speech for “Osama,” the best foreign-language film winner, Jack Nicholson trots onstage to announce the award for best actress in a drama — Charlize Theron for “Monster.” Jack says something disarming to her as she heads to the microphone, but she pulls it together to make her acceptance speech, despite getting played off.
10:43: A bald Jim Carrey announces that the best motion picture comedy is … “Elf.” “Oh, wait, that wasn’t nominated this year,” he says, getting a big laugh. In reality, it’s “Lost in Translation,” which picks up its third award of the night.
10:52: Leonardo DiCaprio, who has his Howard Hughes biopic “The Aviator” (funny, Gwen Stefani forgot to mention it) to plug, announces “Return of the King” is the winner for best motion picture drama. Director Jackson makes his acceptance short and sweet, leading to perhaps the night’s biggest shocker: an awards show that ends not only on time, but actually a couple minutes ahead of schedule.
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